纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is relevant and well developed, with a clear example of making origami with your father. However, the final sentence is grammatically inaccurate and slightly repetitive: use “we used to do it together” instead of “we do that all day together.” Avoid fillers such as “you know” and “uh,” and clarify whether you mean school holidays or trips away. Keep the response to three or four well-connected sentences.

示例: Yes, I have. When I was a child, I used to make origami, especially with my father, who also enjoyed paper crafts. We often did it together during the school holidays, and I particularly liked making animals and flowers.

建议: You mention several relevant activities, but there are problems with tense, word choice, and clarity. Since the question is about childhood, use the past tense consistently: “I liked doing origami.” “Peppers” is probably an incorrect word or pronunciation; say “paper” or “pieces of paper,” depending on your meaning. Replace “writing with papers” with “writing on paper,” and organize the answer with a linking phrase such as “Besides that.”

示例: As a child, I particularly enjoyed making origami because it was one of my favorite hobbies. Besides that, I liked drawing on paper and writing short poems at school. I found these activities relaxing and enjoyed showing my work to my classmates.

建议: This is a clear and natural answer with a direct response, a modern comparison, and a personal detail. Improve the grammar in “we are mainly using digital versions” by saying “people mainly use digital forms of communication.” Also, “write something” is vague; specify that you occasionally write notes or letters by hand. Avoid the informal phrase “and stuff” in the test.

示例: To be honest, I can’t remember the last time I wrote a physical letter. These days, people mainly use digital forms of communication, such as emails and messages, because they are quicker. However, I occasionally write short notes by hand to practise my handwriting.

建议: You give a reasonable opinion and a relevant reason, but “Hindi medal value” is unclear and should be replaced with “sentimental value.” Avoid redundancy in “now these days,” and use a more natural expression such as “people may treasure them.” The answer would be stronger with a specific example, such as letters from family members or friends, and without fillers like “you know.”

示例: Yes, I think some people still keep handwritten letters, especially if they have sentimental value. Since handwritten messages are quite rare nowadays, they can feel more personal and memorable than digital messages. For example, someone might keep a letter from a close friend or a family member for many years.

建议: You answer the question directly and explain why you carry a diary and pen, but the main sentence is too long and contains repetition. Use “paper” as an uncountable noun rather than “papers,” and change “whenever I need something” to a specific situation, such as making a reminder or writing down an address. Avoid repeating “usually” and “write,” and divide the response into shorter sentences.

示例: I don’t usually carry loose sheets of paper, but I often take a small diary and a pen with me. I use them to write down reminders, shopping lists, or useful addresses when I’m out. It’s more convenient than typing everything on my phone, especially when I need to make a quick note.

× So we do that all day together sometimes, you know, during the school holidays and, uh, when we go away for holidays.

✓ So we did that all day together sometimes, you know, during the school holidays and, uh, when we went away for holidays.

The student is describing activities that happened during childhood, so the past tense is needed. Use did instead of do and went instead of go to maintain consistent past-time reference.

× And also, uh, I did a lot of writing with papers, I guess like try to do some drawings, you know, during the school time and also write some poems.

✓ And also, uh, I did a lot of writing with paper. I guess I tried to do some drawings, you know, during school and also wrote some poems.

After I guess, a complete clause requires a subject and a finite verb, so I guess I tried is needed. Because the student is talking about past childhood activities, tried and wrote should be in the past tense. In addition, when listing past activities, keep the verb forms consistent.

× And also, uh, I did a lot of writing with papers, I guess like try to do some drawings, you know, during the school time and also write some poems.

✓ And also, uh, I did a lot of writing with paper. I guess I tried to do some drawings, you know, during school and also wrote some poems.

Paper is generally an uncountable noun when referring to the material used for writing or drawing, so paper is more appropriate than papers in this context. Use papers only when referring to separate sheets or documents.

× I don't usually carry papers, but I usually carry a diary and a pen so that whenever I need something we just use that diary to write it up and also just like a small book to keep things written and then have some notes.

✓ I don't usually carry paper, but I usually carry a diary and a pen so that whenever I need to write something, I can use the diary. It is also like a small book for keeping notes.

The subject changes from I to we even though the student is describing their own actions. The pronoun I should be used consistently. Also, it is clearer to use I can use the diary rather than we just use that diary.

× I don't usually carry papers, but I usually carry a diary and a pen so that whenever I need something we just use that diary to write it up and also just like a small book to keep things written and then have some notes.

✓ I don't usually carry paper, but I usually carry a diary and a pen so that whenever I need to write something, I can use the diary. It is also like a small book for keeping notes.

The phrase and also just like a small book does not contain a complete verb structure. Add It is to form a complete sentence. The phrase for keeping notes is also more grammatically natural than to keep things written and then have some notes.