纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答有直接回应，也提供了具体例子，但“crafts replaceable”“last time I teach”“elderly home”等表达不自然或有语法问题。“replaceable”应改为“such as”；“teach”应使用过去式“taught”；“elderly home”可改为“a nursing home”。建议先概括自己做过的纸艺，再说明对象、活动和目的，并使用“for example”连接细节。

示例: Yes, I have made several paper crafts, such as origami and paper flowers. For example, I recently taught some clients how to make paper flowers for the Mid-Autumn Festival. We used them to decorate a nursing home, which was a meaningful experience.

建议: 内容具体，有原因、经历和感受，结构基本完整。不过“make paper playing”不符合英语表达，应改为“make paper planes”；“activities”应与单数或复数保持一致；“conducted with me”较生硬，可改为“introduced me to”。另外，讲过去习惯时应使用“used to”或统一使用过去时，避免“usually go”。

示例: When I was a child, I loved making paper planes. My mother introduced me to this activity, and I used to fly the planes in the park with my friends. It was a simple but very happy childhood memory.

建议: 回答立场明确，也给出了使用电子通信的原因，但句子过长，存在重复和不自然表达，如“nowadays mostly I communicate”“through WhatsApp or VCat this kind of communication method”和“paperwriting writing writing”。建议拆分句子，使用“mainly communicate by email and messaging apps”，并将“paper letters”作为比较对象。

示例: No, I hardly ever write physical letters now. I mainly communicate with my business partners by email or messaging apps such as WhatsApp. These methods are faster and more convenient than sending traditional letters.

建议: 回答方向正确，但部分内容难以理解。“their tattoo feedback”应改为“the tactile feeling”或“the feeling of writing by hand”；“after the pen in contact with the paper”应改为“when the pen touches the paper”；“leather paper”可能想表达“letters”或“paper”，而“dedicated to decorate”应改为“enjoy decorating”。建议围绕怀旧、情感价值和装饰信件展开，并避免使用不确定的词语。

示例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, especially letters from family members or close friends. They enjoy the personal feeling of handwriting and the memories connected to the letters. Some people also decorate them with stickers or drawings, which makes them feel more special.

建议: 回答清楚直接，包含原因和结果，整体结构较好。不过“draw down notes”应改为“write down notes”，“utilities”不适合指纸和笔，应改为“supplies”或“stationery”；“for my boss and also my colleagues”可以更自然地说成“for my boss and colleagues”。还要注意问题问的是外出时是否携带，可以先说明通常携带，再补充工作场景。

示例: Yes, I usually carry a small notebook and a pen when I go out. I often need to write down notes or sketch ideas for my boss and colleagues, especially when I am working outside the office. Having these supplies with me is convenient and helps me remember important information.

× Yeah sure, I have made some crafts replaceable like folding or maybe doing some art and craft activities. Like for example, last time I teach my clients to make paper flowers for the mid autumn festival and to decorate our elderly home.

✓ Yeah, sure. I have made some crafts, such as folding paper and doing other arts-and-crafts activities. For example, last time I taught my clients to make paper flowers for the Mid-Autumn Festival and decorate our elderly home.

“last time”表示过去的具体时间，因此后面的动词应该使用一般过去时。应将“teach”改为“taught”。

× Yeah sure, I have made some crafts replaceable like folding or maybe doing some art and craft activities.

✓ Yeah, sure. I have made some crafts, such as folding paper and doing other arts-and-crafts activities.

“replaceable”表示“可替代的”，不符合句意。这里应该使用“such as”来举例，表示“例如”。建议根据语境选择准确的形容词或短语，不要直接使用意思不合适的词。

× I liked to make paper playing when I was a child because it was the first art and craft activities my mother conducted with me and after I made the paper plane, I usually go to the park and fly it to the sky together with my friends.

✓ I liked making paper crafts when I was a child because it was the first arts-and-crafts activity my mother did with me. After I made the paper plane, I usually went to the park and flew it into the sky with my friends.

“activity”前面有“the first”，表示第一个活动，所以应使用单数形式“activity”，不能使用复数“activities”。看到“the first/second/only”等词时，要特别注意后面的名词通常使用单数。

× I liked to make paper playing when I was a child because it was the first art and craft activities my mother conducted with me.

✓ I liked making paper crafts when I was a child because it was the first arts-and-crafts activity my mother did with me.

“like”后面可以接动名词“like doing something”。“make paper playing”结构不正确，应改为“making paper crafts”。表示喜欢某项活动时，可以使用“like + 动词-ing”。

× After I made the paper plane, I usually go to the park and fly it to the sky together with my friends.

✓ After I made the paper plane, I usually went to the park and flew it into the sky with my friends.

整句话描述的是童年时期的过去经历，因此“go”和“fly”也应使用过去式，分别改为“went”和“flew”。同一段叙述中，表示过去的连续动作时要保持时态一致。

× After I made the paper plane, I usually go to the park and fly it to the sky together with my friends.

✓ After I made the paper plane, I usually went to the park and flew it into the sky with my friends.

纸飞机从地面飞到天空，强调进入某个空间，应使用“into”，而不是“to”。“fly into the sky”表示“飞入天空”。

× No, I don't write physical letters anymore because nowadays mostly I communicate with my business partner through email or also some text messages through WhatsApp or VCat this kind of communication method is more effective than traditional paperwriting writing writing.

✓ No, I don't write physical letters anymore because nowadays I mostly communicate with my business partner through email or text messages on WhatsApp or VCat. This kind of communication is more effective than traditional letter writing.

频率副词“mostly”通常放在主语之后、实义动词之前，所以应说“I mostly communicate”，而不是“mostly I communicate”。在一般现在时中，副词的位置要保持自然和清晰。

× No, I don't write physical letters anymore because nowadays mostly I communicate with my business partner through email or also some text messages through WhatsApp or VCat this kind of communication method is more effective than traditional paperwriting writing writing.

✓ No, I don't write physical letters anymore because nowadays I mostly communicate with my business partner through email or text messages on WhatsApp or VCat. This kind of communication is more effective than traditional letter writing.

原句把两个完整句子直接连接在一起，缺少句号或适当的连接方式，造成句子结构混乱。应在“VCat”后使用句号，开始一个新句子。同时，应删除重复的“writing”，并使用清晰的名词短语“traditional letter writing”。

× Also they are very dedicated to decorate the leather paper by beautiful decorations.

✓ They are also very dedicated to decorating the letter with beautiful decorations.

短语“be dedicated to”中的“to”是介词，后面必须接名词或动名词，因此“decorate”应改为“decorating”。类似结构还有“be committed to doing”和“look forward to doing”。

× Also they are very dedicated to decorate the leather paper by beautiful decorations.

✓ They are also very dedicated to decorating the letter with beautiful decorations.

表示“用某物装饰某物”时，通常使用“decorate something with something”，所以“by”应改为“with”。另外，“leather paper”不符合这里的语境，正确表达应为“the letter”。

× Yeah, sure. They also keep this practice nowadays, especially they enjoy the feeling of handwriting and their tattoo feedback after the pen in contact with the paper.

✓ Yeah, sure. They still keep handwritten letters nowadays. In particular, they enjoy the feeling of writing by hand and the tactile feedback they get when the pen is in contact with the paper.

“especially they enjoy...”不能直接作为前一句的补充结构，应该改为独立句或使用“In particular”引出具体内容。“after the pen in contact with the paper”缺少谓语动词，应改为“when the pen is in contact with the paper”。

× Yeah, sure, I bring paper and pencils along with me when I go out because when I'm at work I need to write and draw down a lot of notes for my boss and also my colleagues.

✓ Yeah, sure. I bring paper and pens with me when I go out because, when I'm at work, I need to write down a lot of notes for my boss and colleagues.

固定短语是“write down notes”，表示“记下笔记”；“draw down notes”不是正确的搭配。另外，“with me”已经表达“随身携带”，不需要再加“along with me”。建议记忆常见动词短语的固定搭配。