纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答有具体经历和例子，但句子过长，语法错误较多，影响清晰度。应直接说明“做过”，然后用过去时描述老师教你制作纸动物，最后说明纸遇水后损坏。注意使用正确搭配，如“make paper crafts”“made animals”“they fell apart”，并使用“but”连接转折。

示例: Yes, I have. When I was in middle school, my teacher taught me how to make paper crafts, such as tigers and lions. I really enjoyed it because the animals looked quite realistic. Unfortunately, they fell apart when they got wet.

建议: 回答了问题，也给出了父母忙这一原因，但表达重复，且“draw the painting”“use paper to entertainment”等搭配不自然。可以用“draw pictures”“entertain myself”来表达，并统一使用过去时。建议按照“活动—原因—具体内容”的结构回答，避免重复“when I was a child”。

示例: As a child, I mainly liked drawing pictures on paper. My parents were often busy, so drawing was an easy way for me to entertain myself. I usually drew landscapes, animals, and people from my imagination.

建议: 回答的核心意思是“不写”，但时态和句子结构问题明显，且“the P”“so hi”等内容不清楚。应使用一般现在时“I don’t write”，并给出一个清晰、具体的理由，例如电子邮件和即时通讯更快、更方便。注意说“fewer post offices”“There’s no point in writing...”以及“faster than traditional mail”。

示例: No, I don’t. I rarely write physical letters because emails and messaging apps are much faster and more convenient. I can contact people immediately through WeChat, so I don’t really need to send letters by post.

建议: 回答表达了现代人较少使用手写信件的观点，并提到了科技发展和通讯软件，内容方向正确。但“didn't find someone writing by hand”不自然，而且观点过于绝对，不应说“everybody”。可以先直接回答“Some people still do, but it is less common”，再补充年轻人更常使用WhatsApp或微信。

示例: Yes, some people still keep handwritten letters, especially older people. However, they are much less common nowadays because most people use WhatsApp, WeChat, or email to communicate. Handwritten letters are usually kept for sentimental reasons, such as remembering a special relationship or occasion.

建议: 回答直接表达了很少携带纸笔，并提供了手机替代纸笔的原因，逻辑基本清楚。主要问题是时态混乱、重复使用“use”，以及“do anything in a quick way”表达不自然。建议使用“take paper and pens with me”“write down reminders”“more quickly and conveniently”等更准确的表达，并用两到三句简洁说明。

示例: No, I rarely carry them with me. I usually use my phone to write down reminders or make quick notes. It is more convenient because I always have my phone in my pocket.

× Actually when I was in my middle school, my teacher taught me to use the paper to make the class in class and at that time I make different kinds of animals like tiger and lion is very special and but unfortunately when the water comes in all broken at the time.

✓ Actually, when I was in middle school, my teacher taught me to use paper to make crafts in class. At that time, I made different kinds of animals, such as tigers and lions. Unfortunately, when water got on them, they all broke.

叙述过去的经历时，动词要使用过去式。因此，make 应改为 made，comes 应改为 came 或 got。注意保持整段叙述的时态一致。

× I make different kinds of animals like tiger and lion.

✓ I made different kinds of animals, such as tigers and lions.

当表示多个动物时，animal 要用复数 animals；具体提到多个老虎和狮子时，应使用 tigers 和 lions。

× Different kinds of animals like tiger and lion is very special.

✓ Different kinds of animals, such as tigers and lions, were very special.

主语 different kinds of animals 是复数，所以不能使用 is。由于事情发生在过去，应使用 were。

× My teacher taught me to use the paper to make the class in class.

✓ My teacher taught me to use paper to make crafts in class.

paper 表示纸这种不可数材料时，通常不需要使用 the。这里 make the class 表达不正确，应改为 make crafts in class。

× When I was a child, I loved to draw the painting on it because I my parents are so busy at that time.

✓ When I was a child, I loved drawing pictures on paper because my parents were very busy at that time.

这是对童年经历的描述，所以 are 要改为过去式 were。原句中的 I my parents 缺少正确的句子结构，应改为 because my parents were very busy。

× because I my parents are so busy at that time

✓ because my parents were very busy at that time

原句中 I my parents 连续出现，句子结构错误。主语应为 my parents，后面需要接谓语 were。

× Nobody can stay with me when I was a child.

✓ Nobody could stay with me when I was a child.

when I was a child 表示过去时间，因此 can 应改为过去式 could。

× I only can use paper to entertainment.

✓ I could only use paper to entertain myself.

entertain 是动词，不能使用名词 entertainment。表示“娱乐自己”时，应使用 entertain myself。因为是在描述过去，can 也应改为 could。

× At the time I draw different kinds of painting.

✓ At that time, I drew different kinds of paintings.

different kinds of 后面表示多种画，所以 painting 应使用复数 paintings。由于是在讲过去的事情，draw 应改为 drew。

× Actually I didn't write physical letters now because there are less and less post office near my house.

✓ Actually, I don't write physical letters now because there are fewer and fewer post offices near my house.

now 表示现在，所以 didn't write 应改为 don't write。post office 是可数名词，且数量在减少，因此要使用复数 post offices；可数名词数量减少时应使用 fewer，而不是 less。

× There are less and less post office near my house.

✓ There are fewer and fewer post offices near my house.

post offices 是可数名词复数，因此要用 fewer。less 通常用于不可数名词，如 less time。

× I didn't get any point to write a letter to the person who I want to write.

✓ I don't see any point in writing a letter to the person I want to write to.

固定搭配是 see a point in doing something，表示“认为做某事有意义”。write 后面表示写信给某人时，需要使用介词 to。

× The e-mail is very quicker than the post things.

✓ Email is much quicker than postal mail.

quicker 已经是比较级，前面不能使用 very 修饰，应使用 much。比较两种通信方式时，postal mail 比 post things 更准确。

× Actually, I didn't find someone writing by hand for my friends.

✓ Actually, I haven't found anyone who writes handwritten letters to their friends.

这是对截至现在的经历进行描述，使用现在完成时 haven't found 更合适。否定句中 someone 通常改为 anyone。

× Someone writing by hand in from for my friends.

✓ Someone writing handwritten letters to their friends.

表示“给朋友写信”时，应使用介词 to，不能连续使用 in、from 和 for。

× The technology is developed in a increasing way.

✓ Technology is developing rapidly.

technology 在这里表示科技这一总体概念，通常不需要 the。a 后面要接辅音音素开头的词，而 increasing 以元音音素开头，所以不能使用 a increasing。使用 developing rapidly 表达更自然。

× Everybody will choose to send e-mail through WhatsApp or WeChat.

✓ Everybody chooses to send emails through WhatsApp or WeChat.

这句话表达当前普遍存在的习惯或事实，不是将来发生的事情，因此不应使用 will choose，而应使用一般现在时 chooses。

× Everybody will choose to send e-mail through WhatsApp or WeChat and they focus less on that.

✓ Everybody chooses to send emails through WhatsApp or WeChat and focuses less on handwritten letters.

everybody 是不定代词，语法上通常看作单数，所以后面的动词要用 focuses。为了避免指代不清，直接重复 handwritten letters 会更准确。

× Everybody chooses to send e-mail through WhatsApp or WeChat.

✓ Everybody chooses to send emails through WhatsApp or WeChat.

这里表示人们发送多封电子邮件的一般习惯，email 应使用复数 emails。

× Actually I seldom do that because when I didn't use that to remember anything.

✓ Actually, I seldom do that because I don't need paper and pens to remember anything.

问题询问的是现在的习惯，因此 didn't use 应改为 don't need 或 don't use。原句中的 when 没有正确连接时间从句，删除后句子结构更完整。

× I didn't use that to remember anything.

✓ I don't use them to remember anything.

paper and pens 是复数，应该用 them，而不是单数代词 that。同时，谈论现在的习惯时应使用 don't use。

× Now because I can use my phone to write down everything and type anything to remind me and also it can help me to do anything in a quick way.

✓ Nowadays, I can use my phone to write down everything and set reminders. It also helps me do things quickly.

原句以 Now because 开头，但后面没有完整的主句，导致句子结构不完整。应拆分或重新组织句子。此外，quickly 是副词，用来修饰 do things，比 in a quick way 更自然。

× It can help me to do anything in a quick way.

✓ It can help me do things quickly.

quickly 是副词，可以修饰动词 do。这里不需要使用 in a quick way；另外，things 比 anything 更符合“做事情”的一般含义。

× So I didn't use that.

✓ So I don't use them.

这是对当前习惯的总结，应使用一般现在时 don't use。因为前面指的是 paper and pens，所以代词应使用复数 them。