纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Améliorez la clarté et la structure en commençant par une phrase-thèse claire, corrigez la grammaire (temps et articles), réduisez les hésitations et fournissez un exemple précis. Utilisez des mots de liaison simples pour enchaîner les idées et restez naturel tout en évitant la redondance.

示例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often made paper crafts, such as little houses and boats. I enjoyed folding and decorating them, and I usually made them with my friends after school. It was a fun way to spend time and be creative.

建议: Corrigez la grammaire (temps et répétitions) et formulez une réponse directe avec un sujet clair. Donnez un détail concret ou une courte anecdote pour rendre la réponse plus spécifique et utilisez un lien logique entre la phrase principale et les détails.

示例: I liked making simple toys and cards with paper and playing with my friends. For example, we often folded paper boats and raced them in puddles after rain, which helped us make lasting memories.

建议: Rendez la réponse plus naturelle et précise: évitez les répétitions, précisez le type et la fréquence des lettres, et structurez en une phrase principale suivie d'un détail. Utilisez un mot de liaison si vous ajoutez une explication.

示例: Yes, I still write physical letters occasionally. I sometimes write poems and short notes about my daily life, usually when I want to keep a personal record or send something meaningful to a friend.

建议: Améliorez la précision et la formulation: commencez par une réponse claire (oui/non) puis expliquez avec des raisons spécifiques. Évitez les traductions littérales et corrigez le vocabulaire inapproprié (ex: 'preservative' -> 'opinion'). Utilisez des connecteurs pour organiser l'idée.

示例: In my opinion, not many people keep handwritten letters today because smartphones and email are much more convenient. As a result, people prefer digital messages over physical letters for everyday communication.

建议: Clarifiez votre réponse en choisissant une position nette (yes/no) puis expliquez brièvement pourquoi. Évitez la formulation confuse et les répétitions; mentionnez une situation concrète où vous utiliseriez du papier ou votre téléphone.

示例: To be honest, I rarely carry paper and pens because I use my phone to take notes. Only when I expect to sign something or sketch I might bring a notebook and a pen.

× So when I was child, yes, I made craft with paper.

✓ So when I was a child, yes, I made crafts with paper.

The noun 'child' requires the article 'a' when referring to a singular countable noun. 'Craft' should be plural 'crafts' to match the general activity of making multiple items. Suggestion: use articles with singular countable nouns and pluralize when speaking generally about multiple items.

× I was, uh, actually I was fun about the this, uh, things and I made the like houses like boat with the paper.

✓ I was actually interested in these things, and I made things like houses and boats out of paper.

The original uses 'fun' incorrectly; 'interested' is the correct adjective to express enjoyment. 'the this things' is ungrammatical and should be 'these things'. Use 'things like houses and boats' and the preposition 'out of' for materials. Suggestion: use 'interested in' to express liking and 'out of' for material composition.

× I'd like to enjoy enjoy moment and made memories with paper with paper and play with my friends.

✓ I liked enjoying moments, making memories with paper, and playing with my friends.

Mixes conditional/modal 'I'd like' with past activities; the question asks about childhood so past tense should be used. Use parallel gerund forms: 'enjoying', 'making', 'playing'. Remove repeated words. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and parallel structure when listing activities.

× Yes I still write physical letters like poem, like my daily routine yes.

✓ Yes, I still write physical letters, like poems and notes about my daily routine.

Missing commas and pluralization: 'poem' should be 'poems' if more than one or as an example. 'notes about my daily routine' is clearer than 'like my daily routine'. Suggestion: pluralize when giving examples and add commas for clarity.

× In my preservative no because nowadays we have a phone and we have technology, we have EI people don't use the letters and don't write letters.

✓ In my perspective, no, because nowadays people have phones and technology; many people don't use or write letters.

'preservative' is incorrect word choice; 'perspective' is intended. 'we have EI' is unclear and likely erroneous; replace with 'people have phones and technology'. Use punctuation to separate clauses. Suggestion: choose correct lexical items and avoid ambiguous abbreviations.

× To be honest nowadays more because I have a phone when I need something or I need to write something, I use my phone, just phone and technology.

✓ To be honest, nowadays more often I use my phone; when I need to write something, I use my phone and other technologies.

Awkward word order and repetition 'just phone and technology'. Use adverb 'more often' and clarify 'use my phone and other technologies'. Suggestion: simplify and use clear adverb placement (before main verb) and avoid repetition.