纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and avoid repetition and fillers. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples using linking words. Use more precise vocabulary (e.g., "origami" and "paper models"), and limit to 3–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I make paper crafts, especially origami. For example, I often fold cranes and small animal figures to decorate my room. I also make simple paper toys for younger cousins, which they enjoy playing with.

建议: Correct verb tense and complete sentences. Avoid pauses and hesitations, and finish ideas fully. Provide a clear topic sentence, then add a specific detail or short anecdote with a linking word such as "also" or "because."

示例: As a child, I loved folding paper planes and competing with my friends to see whose flew farthest. I also used paper to draw cartoons and stories, which I would trade with classmates.

建议: Good use of a personal example. Reduce minor grammatical awkwardness (e.g., "I was really touched"). Keep response within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word like "however" or "although" to contrast past and present.

示例: No, I don't write physical letters now. However, when I was a child I used to send letters to relatives to express how much I missed them; once a letter surprised my mother and she visited me, which really touched me.

建议: Avoid fillers and unfinished sentences. State your opinion clearly and support it with a specific reason or example. Use correct article usage and plural forms ("a handwritten letter"/"handwritten letters"). Aim for 2–3 coherent sentences with a linking word like "because" or "since."

示例: Yes, I think people still keep handwritten letters because they are sentimental and can be kept for decades. Since handwritten notes are rare now, many people treat them as special keepsakes.

建议: Use correct collocations ("pen and paper" not "pen and papers") and clean sentence structure. Be specific about when and why you carry them, and avoid vague phrases like "write down a memory." Limit to 2–3 sentences and use linking word "but" appropriately.

示例: I don't usually carry a pen and paper when I go out, but I do bring them to meetings. I use them to take quick notes or write down important points during discussions.

× Student: I use paper to fold, uh, paper planes to compete with my friends for distance and uh, I also used paper to draw uh, uh, drawings for my.

✓ Student: I used paper to fold paper planes to compete with my friends for distance, and I also used paper to draw pictures.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I use' with past context 'as a child'; use past tense 'I used' for consistency. Also 'drawings for my' is incomplete—replace with 'draw pictures'. Remove filler words and redundant commas for clarity.

× Student: I like doing origami handicraft so I would I would use paper to make uh animals, toys or other umm enjoyable items.

✓ Student: I like doing origami and handicrafts, so I would use paper to make animals, toys, or other enjoyable items.

'Origami handicraft' is awkward; use 'origami and handicrafts'. Double 'I would' is a repetition error; keep one 'I would'. Use plural 'handicrafts' and include commas correctly. This fixes subject-verb flow and word choice.

× Student: No, I don't write physical letters anymore, but when I was a child, I used to write physical letters to my relatives to show how I miss them.

✓ Student: No, I don't write physical letters anymore, but when I was a child, I used to write physical letters to my relatives to show how much I missed them.

After 'used to' referring to past habit, the reference to emotion should be in past tense: 'missed' and use 'how much I missed them' for natural English. 'Show how I miss them' mixes present emotion with past action.

× Student: For example, I once wrote a letter to my mother to tell her that I miss her and she paid me visit in surprise.

✓ Student: For example, I once wrote a letter to my mother to tell her that I missed her, and she paid me a surprise visit.

Use past tense 'missed' to match 'wrote'. Fix phrase 'paid me visit in surprise' to the idiomatic 'paid me a surprise visit'. Commas improve readability.

× Student: I really was touched by that.

✓ Student: I was really touched by that.

Placement of adverb 'really' is more natural before the adjective 'touched' after 'was'. This is an adverb placement/style adjustment for natural English.

× Student: I think people still keep handwritten letters today because it's a MMM.

✓ Student: I think people still keep handwritten letters today because it's a memorable gift.

'MMM' is unclear; replace with a meaningful noun phrase. Also 'handwritten letters' plural is fine. Provide a clear article and noun: 'a memorable gift'.

× Student: It's a type of gift that can be cherished for a long time and it's rare to see a handwritten letters nowadays.

✓ Student: It's a type of gift that can be cherished for a long time, and it's rare to see handwritten letters nowadays.

Remove the definite article 'a' before 'handwritten letters' because 'letters' is plural. Also add a comma before 'and' and remove redundant 'a' for grammatical correctness.

× Student: So I think it's.

✓ Student: So I think so.

'So I think it's' is an incomplete sentence; replace with 'So I think so' to complete the idea or finish the thought properly.

× Student: I don't normally carry pen and papers when I go out, but I would carry pen and papers when I had a have a meeting with someone else.

✓ Student: I don't normally carry a pen and paper when I go out, but I would carry a pen and paper when I had a meeting with someone else.

Use the singular uncountable form 'a pen and paper' rather than 'pen and papers'. Remove duplicated words 'had a have a'. Use past reference 'had a meeting' is acceptable for planned past context; could also use 'have a meeting' depending on intended meaning.

× Student: So I carry them because I need to quickly write down a memory, a memoir to keep what in the meeting.

✓ Student: So I carry them because I need to quickly write down notes or a brief memo to remember what happened in the meeting.

The original is unclear and ungrammatical: 'write down a memory, a memoir to keep what in the meeting' is incorrect. Use 'notes' or 'a brief memo' and 'to remember what happened in the meeting' for clear meaning and proper sentence structure.