纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer more concise, correct grammar, and use linking words to organise ideas. Begin with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific examples and a brief result. Avoid redundancy and sentence fragments.

示例: Yes. I often made paper crafts, especially birthday cards for my father, who encouraged me to be creative. Later I started reusing discarded paper to make items like small decorations and models, which improved my creativity and fine motor skills.

建议: Answer with a clear main idea, fix odd word choices (e.g. 'drinking'), and give one or two specific examples linked to a reason. Use linking words like 'also' or 'because' for coherence.

示例: As a child I mainly used paper for schoolwork and homework. I also enjoyed making crafts from discarded paper, such as small bouquets and paper boats, because it was fun to turn waste into decorations.

建议: This answer is generally clear and relevant. Improve naturalness by correcting phrasing ('air letter' is odd) and shortening slightly. Use a linking word to connect past and present.

示例: Not really. Writing physical letters has mostly disappeared. I used to write letters to my father when he was serving in the army and lived far away, but now we mainly communicate by phone or messaging apps.

建议: Good content and coherence. Improve precision by tightening vocabulary (e.g. 'keepsake') and using one linking phrase. Keep to two or three sentences maximum.

示例: Yes, some people keep handwritten letters for sentimental reasons or to mark important events. For example, someone might keep a job-offer letter or a love note as a keepsake to show their children or preserve for the future.

建议: Clear and well organised. Minor improvements: reduce repetition, use linking words ('however'/'but') and more natural phrasing like 'I usually don't' + one specific exception.

示例: I usually don't carry pen and paper because I try to travel light and only take a small clutch with my phone and a handkerchief. However, I will bring a pen if I expect to need it to fill out paperwork.

× Yes, many times I used to give paper made card to my father especially on his birthday and he motivated me a lot to make something amazing out of paper.

✓ Yes, many times I used to give paper-made cards to my father, especially on his birthday, and he motivated me a lot to make something amazing out of paper.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'paper made card' needs hyphenation and pluralization as a compound adjective plus noun ('paper-made cards') which requires plural to match 'many times'; commas improve readability. Use of past 'used to' is appropriate. Suggestion: hyphenate compound adjectives and ensure correct plural form of countable nouns.

× And gradually I started using discarded paper and made many incredible artifact and this helped me to develop my cognitive skill more performance.

✓ Gradually I started using discarded paper and made many incredible artifacts, and this helped me to develop my cognitive skills and improve my performance.

Several pluralization and word-choice errors: 'artifact' should be plural 'artifacts' to match 'many'; 'cognitive skill' should be plural 'cognitive skills'; 'more performance' is incorrect collocation — use 'improve my performance'. Also replace starting conjunction 'And' with none or connect smoothly. Suggestion: match plurals with quantifiers and use natural collocations ('improve performance').

× First of all, I used paper for my schoolwork, writing, doing homework and drinking.

✓ First of all, I used paper for my schoolwork, writing, and doing homework.

The item 'drinking' is incorrect in this context; likely a wrong word choice or mistranslation. If meant 'drawing' then correction: '...writing, drawing, and doing homework.' Also ensure parallel list structure and include commas. Suggestion: confirm intended activity and keep list items parallel.

× In addition, I liked making creative things from discarded paper such as small bouquet and boats because it was fun to transform waste into decoration.

✓ In addition, I liked making creative things from discarded paper such as small bouquets and boats because it was fun to transform waste into decorations.

Pluralization needed: 'small bouquet' should be 'small bouquets' to match plural 'boats' or make both singular; 'decoration' is better as plural 'decorations' here. Ensure number agreement in lists.

× Not really, writing physical air letter has mostly disappeared in the era of technology.

✓ Not really; writing physical letters has mostly disappeared in the era of technology.

'Air letter' is unusual here; likely intended 'physical letters'. 'Writing physical letters' is a noun phrase; use plural 'letters' to indicate the general practice. Use a semicolon or period for clarity. Suggestion: use correct noun and plural form when referring generally.

× I used to write letters to my father when he served as an army officer and lived far away, but now I usually keep in touch with him by phone or messaging apps.

✓ I used to write letters to my father when he was serving as an army officer and lived far away, but now I usually keep in touch with him by phone or messaging apps.

Use 'was serving' or 'served' both acceptable; 'was serving' emphasizes the continuous past. Original is understandable but 'served as an army officer' is correct too. Suggestion: prefer 'was serving' for continuous past context; either version acceptable. (Included because 'served' can be ambiguous in tense context.)

× I think some people still keep handwritten notes when they have a sentimental value or mark an important event.

✓ I think some people still keep handwritten notes when they have sentimental value or mark an important event.

'A sentimental value' is incorrect article use with uncountable abstract noun; 'sentimental value' is idiomatic without an article. Suggestion: drop 'a' before 'sentimental value' and ensure noun phrases are idiomatic.

× For example, someone might keep the note from a job offer or a love letter as a keepshake to show their children or preserve for future generations.

✓ For example, someone might keep the note from a job offer or a love letter as a keepsake to show their children or preserve for future generations.

Typo: 'keepshake' should be 'keepsake'. Also maintain parallel structure: 'to show their children or to preserve for future generations' (adding 'to' optional for parallelism). Suggestion: watch for spelling errors and keep parallel infinitive phrases.

× I try to keep my belongings to a minimum so I usually don't carry pen and paper when I go out.

✓ I try to keep my belongings to a minimum, so I usually don't carry a pen and paper when I go out.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'pen'. Add comma before 'so' for clarity. Suggestion: include articles with singular countable nouns.

× I only take a small clutch that fits my phone and a handkerchief and I prefer to use my phone for notes and forms if necessary.

✓ I only take a small clutch that fits my phone and a handkerchief, and I prefer to use my phone for notes and forms if necessary.

Comma needed before coordinating conjunction 'and' joining independent clauses. Pronouns are fine. This entry addresses punctuation for clarity. Suggestion: use comma before 'and' when joining two independent clauses.

× Occasionally I will bring a pen if I know I'll need it to fill out paperwork.

✓ Occasionally I bring a pen if I know I'll need it to fill out paperwork.

Using 'will' after 'occasionally' is not wrong but 'I bring' is more natural when talking about habitual occasional actions. Modal 'will' implies future; present simple better for habitual behavior. Suggestion: use present simple for habitual actions.