纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Give a clear topic sentence, correct grammar and organize details logically. Keep under 5 sentences, use linking words (e.g., "for example", "so"). Be specific about what you made, why, and who received them. Correct noun forms and past tense verbs (e.g., "paper", "I made paper birds").

示例: When I was a child I often made paper crafts. For example, I folded many paper birds and decorated them with markers. I usually made them as gifts for my teacher, who displayed them in the classroom. I enjoyed making them because it was creative and relaxing.

建议: Answer directly and use correct vocabulary and concise sentences. Replace unclear words (e.g., "females") with "electronic messages" or "digital communication." Explain one or two clear reasons with linking words (e.g., "because", "however"). Avoid unfinished sentences.

示例: No, I rarely write physical letters now because electronic messages are faster and more convenient. I usually email my colleagues and message friends on social apps. However, I might write a handwritten note for special occasions because it feels more personal.

建议: Start with a clear opinion, then give specific reasons and use linking words. Use accurate vocabulary (e.g., "handwritten letters", "more meaningful", "special") and correct grammar. Provide one clear example of when people keep letters.

示例: Yes, I think some people still keep handwritten letters because they are more meaningful than digital messages. For example, families often keep letters from relatives as memories. In our digital age, a physical letter can feel more personal and special.

建议: Give a concise topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with linking words. Reduce repetition and use correct phrases (e.g., "I carry a pen and a small notebook"). Mention a concrete situation where they are useful.

示例: Yes, I usually carry a pen and a small notepad when I go out because I often need to leave quick messages. For example, if a colleague is away, I jot down reminders on a sticky note and leave it on their desk. It is simple and reliable.

建议: Begin with a clear past-tense topic sentence, give specific examples of activities, and use linking words to connect ideas. Correct vocabulary (e.g., "special", "paper clothes" or "paper crafts") and avoid repetition. Explain why you enjoyed it.

示例: As a child I loved colorful paper and used it to make paper clothes and decorations. For example, I made miniature paper dresses and cards to give to my close friends. I enjoyed making them because it felt special to give handmade gifts.

× Yes when I was a child I liked to make a graphs use was pteaper for example.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I liked to make graphs using paper, for example.

The noun 'graphs' is plural but the sentence structure and article use were incorrect; also 'use was pteaper' is garbled and should be 'using paper'. Use 'make graphs' (plural) or 'make a graph' (singular) consistently and 'using paper' correctly connects the verb and the material. Add commas for clarity.

× I had for example, I made a lucky bird.

✓ For example, I made a lucky bird.

The phrase 'I had for example' is redundant and ungrammatical. Begin with 'For example' and then state the action. No article error beyond awkward wording; simplified to a correct sentence.

× I met many lucky birds to send to my teacher as a teacher present as a present in teacher stay.

✓ I made many lucky birds to send to my teacher as presents while she was staying with us.

'Met' is incorrect verb; should be 'made'. 'Teacher present' and 'as a present in teacher stay' are ungrammatical. Use plural 'presents' for many birds and express the time with 'while she was staying with us' or similar.

× I don't write physical letters nowadays because females are more frequent and instant than physical letters.

✓ I don't write physical letters nowadays because emails or messages are more frequent and instant than physical letters.

'Females' is incorrect word choice for 'emails' or 'messages'. Ensure subject matches context. Maintain present simple 'don't write' for habitual action, and compare correctly.

× I communicate with my colleagues or my own friends through emails.

✓ I communicate with my colleagues and my friends through email.

'Through emails' is understandable but 'through email' is more natural; also use 'and' instead of 'or' unless you mean only one group. No -ing issue here originally but slight style improvement.

× I think it is a fighter way to it's a fight way and it's an advanced technology.

✓ I think it is a faster way and part of advanced technology.

'Fighter' and 'fight way' are incorrect word choices. Use 'faster' or 'more efficient'. Simplify to a clear comparative and reference to technology.

× It's a useful technology.

✓ It is a useful technology.

Replace contraction 'It's' with 'It is' if preferred; sentence is grammatically correct but can be formalized. No major error.

× But sometimes if I want to show my dispatchet

✓ But sometimes if I want to show my dispatch, I might write a note.

Fragment and misspelling: 'dispatchet' likely 'dispatch' or 'handwritten note'. Complete the sentence with a main clause and correct spelling.

× I think the people may keep written letters today because halfwritten letters are rare and and the more meaningful for especially in this societies that we regularly email or message others in digital ways have a write heavy written letters you are more special.

✓ I think people may keep handwritten letters today because half-written letters are rare and more meaningful, especially in societies where we regularly email or message others; a handwritten letter feels more special.

Multiple issues: 'may' is acceptable modal but sentence has many structural problems. Change 'the people' to 'people', 'written letters' to 'handwritten letters', 'halfwritten' to 'handwritten' or 'half-written' depending on meaning, and fix word order and punctuation. Use clearer relative clause 'where we regularly email or message others' and conclude with 'feels more special.'

× Yes, I carry a pen and a small paper with me when I go out mostly mostly because there are several occasions that I can't occasions that I have to leave a message to others or remind or remind other people some important things.

✓ Yes, I carry a pen and a small piece of paper with me when I go out, mostly because there are occasions when I have to leave a message for others or remind people of important things.

Use 'a small piece of paper' rather than 'a small paper'. Remove repeated words 'mostly mostly' and correct 'can't occasions' to 'occasions when'. Use 'leave a message for' and 'remind people of' for correct prepositions.

× In this occasion a sticky paper with messages are more useful.

✓ On this occasion, a sticky note with a message is more useful.

Subject-verb agreement: 'a sticky paper' (singular) requires 'is' not 'are'. Also use 'sticky note' and 'a message' for natural collocation and correct preposition 'on this occasion'.

× When I was a child, I like papers with different colors or different materials because I thought they were spatial and I used them to make paper cloths.

✓ When I was a child, I liked papers of different colors and materials because I thought they were special, and I used them to make paper clothes.

Tense consistency: use past tense 'liked' to match 'When I was a child'. 'Different colors or different materials' simplified to 'different colors and materials'. 'Spatial' is wrong word; use 'special'. 'Paper cloths' should be 'paper clothes' or 'paper garments'.

× Sometimes I send them to my close friends as a present as present.

✓ Sometimes I sent them to my close friends as presents.

Tense consistency: past 'sent' matches earlier past narration. Remove repeated 'as a present as present' and use plural 'presents' for multiple items.

× I think I think present made by myself.

✓ I think a present made by myself is more meaningful.

Fragment and repetition: 'I think I think' remove duplicate. Use passive 'made by myself' but better 'a present I made myself' or 'a present I made is more meaningful' for natural phrasing.