纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and direct. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid redundancy and long sentences; use linking words like 'but' or 'however' to connect ideas.

示例: No, I haven't made many paper crafts recently. However, as a child I often made paper aeroplanes and origami animals, and the aeroplanes were my favorite because they were easy to fold and flew well.

建议: Give a direct answer, then support it with specific reasons and one brief example. Reduce hesitation and filler words. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' to make the explanation coherent.

示例: No, I rarely write physical letters anymore because email and messaging apps are faster. For example, at work we use email and instant messages to exchange documents and decisions the same day.

建议: Avoid vague phrasing and unclear expressions. Start with a clear opinion ('Some people do, but...'), then give specific reasons and an example. Use accurate vocabulary instead of unclear terms like 'word of females.'

示例: Some people still keep handwritten letters, especially for special occasions like weddings, but many prefer digital messages because social media and video messages are more convenient.

建议: Answer directly then give a concise condition and example. Reduce repetition and correct small grammar issues (e.g., 'pen' vs 'pens'). Use linking words like 'but' and 'if' appropriately.

示例: Usually I don't carry paper and a pen when I go out, but I do if I'm going to university or a class because I need to take notes.

建议: Give a clear past-tense answer and one or two specific activities you did with paper. Avoid saying you don't remember and then giving examples; choose one approach. Use linking words like 'mainly' or 'sometimes' to organize details.

示例: I mainly used paper for homework and reading, but sometimes I made paper aeroplanes to play with my friends because they were fun and easy to fold.

× No, I haven't made any crafts with paper and I remember in childhood we used to create paper aeroplanes to play.

✓ No, I haven't made any crafts with paper, but I remember that in my childhood we used to make paper aeroplanes to play with.

The sentence mixes present perfect negative with a past habit; use 'but' to contrast and 'in my childhood' needs 'that' for clarity. 'Create' is acceptable but 'make' is more natural collocation with paper aeroplanes. Also add 'with' after 'play' to complete the verb phrase. Suggestion: Use 'used to' for past habits and keep verb forms consistent, e.g., 'we used to make paper aeroplanes to play with.'

× No, I don't write physical letters now or days because emails are very common and we communicate through WhatsApp or e-mail and in business, uh, we can't write physical letters because we need to communicate faster.

✓ No, I don't write physical letters nowadays because emails are very common and we communicate through WhatsApp or email, and in business we usually don't write physical letters because we need to communicate faster.

Use the adverb 'nowadays' as one word. 'E-mail' can be 'email' and avoid filler 'uh'. 'Can't' implies impossibility; 'don't' or 'usually don't' better matches the meaning. Maintain parallel structure and natural collocations. Suggestion: Replace 'now or days' with 'nowadays' and use 'usually don't' if indicating common practice rather than strict impossibility.

× I'm not sure that people give handwritten letters today because it's word of females, Instagram, WhatsApp nowadays and obviously people made videos as well, so I don't think so.

✓ I'm not sure that people give handwritten letters today because it's the age of Facebook, Instagram and WhatsApp nowadays, and obviously people make videos as well, so I don't think so.

Use 'the age of' to express current trends. 'Word of females' is incorrect and unclear; likely intended 'word of mouth' or 'Facebook'—here 'Facebook' fits as a social platform. Use present tense 'make videos' rather than 'made videos'. Suggestion: Replace unclear phrase with correct platform names and keep present tense for current trends.

× I don't carry papers and pen with me when I go out, but it depends upon the situation where I am going.

✓ I don't carry paper and a pen with me when I go out, but it depends on where I am going.

Use uncountable 'paper' instead of 'papers' when referring to the material in general, and include the article 'a' before 'pen'. 'Depends upon' is acceptable but 'depends on' is more natural; 'situation where I am going' is redundant—use 'depends on where I am going.' Suggestion: Use 'paper' (uncountable) and 'a pen' for single items; simplify the clause to 'depends on where I am going.'

× If I'm going to university or to learn something I I still carry pen or paper.

✓ If I'm going to university or to study, I still carry a pen and some paper.

Use 'to study' instead of 'to learn something' for natural collocation. Remove the duplicated 'I'. Include the article 'a' before 'pen' and use 'some paper' or 'a notebook' for natural expression. Use conjunction 'and' to list items. Suggestion: Say 'I still carry a pen and some paper' or 'I still carry a pen and a notebook.'

× As a child I don't have memory of that.

✓ As a child I don't have a memory of that.

The tense 'don't have' is present; since speaking about a current lack of memory regarding childhood, present tense is acceptable but missing the article 'a' before 'memory'. Alternatively use past: 'I don't remember that as a child.' Suggestion: Use 'I don't have a memory of that' or more naturally 'I don't remember that from my childhood.'

× I mean, I was not very fond of papers.

✓ I mean, I was not very fond of paper.

Use uncountable 'paper' when referring to paper in general, not 'papers' unless meaning multiple documents. 'Fond of paper' is the correct collocation. Suggestion: Say 'I was not very fond of paper.'

× We mostly used to write on papers for homework or read books or play with paper with aeroplanes or some sort of children.

✓ We mostly used to write on paper for homework, read books, or play with paper aeroplanes or other simple toys.

Use uncountable 'paper' for the material. Parallel structure requires verbs in the same form: 'write', 'read', 'play'. 'Play with paper with aeroplanes' is awkward; use 'play with paper aeroplanes'. 'Some sort of children' is incorrect; likely 'some sort of toys' or 'simple toys'. Suggestion: Keep verb forms parallel and correct nouns: 'play with paper aeroplanes or other simple toys.'