纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 回答は内容を伝えていますが、文法ミスや不自然な表現があり、一部冗長です。改善点：1) トピック文を明確にし、不要な語を削る（例："Yes, I have"の後に具体的な一文）。2) 文法を正す（"It was an assignment for craft class."など）。3) 支持情報は接続詞でつなぎ、理由や感情を具体化する（"because"や"so"を使用）。4) 5文以内に収める。

示例: Yes, I have. Last month I made a paper swan as an assignment for my craft class. It was quite difficult because the folds were intricate, but I felt very proud when I finished. The swan looked delicate and graceful, and my teacher praised my effort.

建议: 内容は伝わりますが、時制・文法・語順の誤りが多く、語の反復や不自然な表現が目立ちます。改善点：1) 主語・動詞の一致と前置詞を確認する（"when my friend's birthday is coming"）。2) 同じ単語の重複を避ける。3) 支持文は具体例（どんな内容を書くか）を示す。4) 接続詞で理由をつなげる。

示例: Yes, I do. For example, when a friend's birthday is approaching, I always write a short handwritten card. I usually express my appreciation and include a memory or an invitation to meet up, so the recipient feels valued and happy.

建议: 回答が不明瞭で、意味が取りにくい表現（"lighting reflects your feelings", "character"）や文法ミスが多いです。改善点：1) 質問に対して一般的な意見で始める（"Yes, many people still do"）。2) 理由を具体的に説明する（感情が伝わる、記念になるなど）。3) 具体例は正確に述べる（"my grandmother often sends me handwritten letters"）。4) 文を完結にまとめる。

示例: Yes, many people still keep handwritten letters because they feel more personal and emotional than digital messages. For example, my grandmother often sends me letters, and seeing her handwriting relaxes me and makes me feel connected to her.

建议: 意図は分かりますが、語の重複や不明瞭な略語（"PPC", "PE"）があり文がまとまっていません。改善点：1) 明確な主張で始める（"Sometimes, yes"または"Yes, I often"）。2) 略語は使わず具体的に説明する（"laptops"や"essays"など）。3) 支持文を整理して理由をはっきり述べる。4) 5文以内でまとめる。

示例: Yes, I often carry a small notebook and a pen when I go out because I sometimes need to take notes in class. Although many lessons use laptops, some activities require handwritten reflections or quick sketches, so having paper is useful.

建议: 意味は伝わりますが、文法ミス・語順の問題・語の重複（"I I"）が多く、文が長すぎて不自然です。改善点：1) 明確なトピック文（"I used to like drawing princesses"）。2) 過去習慣は過去形で統一する。3) 支持理由を簡潔にし、具体的な行動を述べる（"I researched dress designs online and copied them"）。4) 文章をつなぐ接続詞を適切に使う。

示例: When I was a child, I loved drawing princesses on paper. I was fascinated by their dresses, so I would look up pictures online and copy the designs into my sketchbook, and my mother often praised my drawings.

× Last month I made a swan with paper.

✓ Last month I made a swan out of paper.

The sentence had awkward preposition use rather than a tense error; corrected to natural phrasing 'made a swan out of paper'. Use 'out of' to indicate material used. Keep past tense 'made' to match 'Last month'. Suggestion: Use 'made a X out of Y' to describe items created from materials.

× It was assignment of craft classes.

✓ It was an assignment for my craft class.

Original lacks article and uses incorrect preposition and pluralization. Add the indefinite article 'an', change 'of craft classes' to 'for my craft class' to indicate purpose and possession. Suggestion: Use 'an assignment for my craft class' or 'an assignment in my craft class'.

× It was very hard, but I was very happy to make that.

✓ It was very hard, but I was very happy to make it.

Pronoun 'that' is awkward; 'it' is natural to refer to the swan. Maintain past tense. Avoid repeating 'very' too many times for better style. Suggestion: Use 'make it' when referring back to a specific object previously mentioned.

× It was very beautiful, especially doing.

✓ It was very beautiful, especially when I was making it.

Phrase 'especially doing' is ungrammatical. Use a clause 'when I was making it' to specify the action. Keep past progressive to emphasize the action during creation. Suggestion: Use 'when I was making it' or 'especially while I was making it'.

× For example when my friend are coming birthday, I always write it write letter for them.

✓ For example, when my friend's birthday is coming, I always write a birthday letter for them.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement ('friend are' -> 'friend's birthday is'), article and noun order ('write it write letter' -> 'write a birthday letter'), and possessive needed. Use present simple for habitual action. Suggestion: 'When my friend's birthday is coming' and 'I always write a birthday letter'.

× I tell them the usual appreciation and I want to play play with them again.

✓ I tell them my usual appreciation and say that I want to play with them again.

Redundant word 'play play' removed; 'tell them the usual appreciation' vague—'tell them my appreciation' is clearer. Use 'say that I want to play with them again' to report desire. Keep present simple for habitual actions. Suggestion: Avoid repetition and make intentions explicit with 'say that' or 'tell them I want to...'.

× Everyone feel glad to read.

✓ Everyone feels glad to read it.

Subject-verb agreement: 'Everyone' is singular -> 'feels'. Add object 'it' (the letter) for clarity. Suggestion: Use singular verb with 'everyone' and include the object being read.

× Yes, I do. This is because lighting reflects your feelings.

✓ Yes, I do. This is because handwriting reflects your feelings.

'Lighting' is wrong word; context implies 'handwriting'. Replace with correct noun. Keep present simple to state a general truth. Suggestion: Use accurate vocabulary to convey intended meaning.

× For example, my grandmother often send a handwritten letters to handwritten letters.

✓ For example, my grandmother often sends handwritten letters to me.

Subject-verb agreement: 'grandmother' -> 'sends'. Remove redundant words and correct object: 'to handwritten letters' makes no sense; likely 'to me'. Use plural 'handwritten letters'. Suggestion: Ensure verb agrees with subject and that objects are coherent.

× When I see this character, I feel relaxed and I start.

✓ When I see her handwriting, I feel relaxed and calm.

'This character' is unclear; 'her handwriting' matches context. 'I start' is incomplete—start what? Replace with 'and calm' to express emotional effect. Keep present simple for general statements. Suggestion: Replace vague nouns with specific ones and avoid incomplete verbs.

× Yes, I do. This is because paper and pencil are used when I take a classes.

✓ Yes, I do. This is because paper and pencils are used when I take classes.

Article and number agreement: 'a classes' incorrect. Use plural 'pencils' to match plural 'paper and pencils' or keep 'a pencil' singular. Use 'take classes' without 'a'. Suggestion: Match singular/plural forms and articles correctly: 'take classes' or 'take a class'.

× Of course most of classes classes require to use PPC, but some classes need to use paper to write PE, to write reflection and.

✓ Of course most classes require the use of a PC, but some classes need paper to write exercises or reflections.

Remove duplicate 'classes', fix 'require to use' -> 'require the use of', correct 'PPC' to 'PC' (computer), and clarify 'PE' ambiguous—likely 'exercises' or 'practice exercises'. Remove trailing 'and'. Suggestion: Use 'require the use of a PC' and list paper uses clearly: 'to write exercises or reflections'.

× When I was a child, I liked drawing Princess in the paper.

✓ When I was a child, I liked drawing princesses on paper.

Pluralize 'princess' for general hobby ('princesses'). Use preposition 'on paper' not 'in the paper'. Keep past tense 'liked'. Suggestion: Use plural for repeated/habitual objects and correct preposition.

× I I was very interested in the dress, so I always research on the Internet and write them in the paper my mother often praises me to.

✓ I was very interested in the dresses, so I always researched them on the Internet and drew them on paper; my mother often praised me for them.

Multiple errors: duplicate 'I', tense consistency (childhood -> past 'researched'), 'write them in the paper' -> 'drew them on paper', and 'praises me to' -> 'praised me for them'. Use past tense throughout and correct prepositions and verb forms. Suggestion: Maintain past tense for childhood narratives, use 'research' -> 'researched', and 'praise someone for something'.