纸— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarify and simplify the topic sentence, correct grammar, and avoid unnecessary words. Use one clear sentence stating you made paper crafts, then add a brief supporting detail (what you made and when). Keep it within 2–3 sentences and use linking words if needed.

示例: Yes, I made many paper crafts when I was in secondary school. For example, I often folded paper flowers and constructed simple decorations for school events.

建议: Use correct verb forms and more natural phrasing. Give a concise topic sentence and one specific supporting detail explaining why and when you write letters. Avoid repeating the same idea.

示例: Yes, I still write physical letters for friends’ birthdays. I like to include personal messages and memories to make the gift more meaningful.

建议: Provide a clear opinion first, then support it with a specific reason or personal example. Correct plural/singular forms and remove hesitation words. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

示例: I think many people still keep handwritten letters because they are sentimental. For example, I have kept several letters and small gifts from friends as keepsakes.

建议: Start with a direct answer (Yes/No), then give concise reasons. Fix tense and phrasing (use present simple). Avoid repeating the negation at the end.

示例: No, I don’t usually carry paper and pens when I go out. I prefer to take my iPad or phone to take notes or record voice memos instead.

建议: Use past tense consistently when describing childhood, and give one clear example with a brief purpose. Remove fillers and keep it within two sentences.

示例: As a child, I liked folding paper into flowers and animals. I often gave these handmade items to my parents as small gifts.

× Well honestly I am a handicraft chair lady before in the secondary school so I have made many crafts with paper.

✓ Well honestly I was a handicraft chair lady when I was in secondary school, so I made many crafts with paper.

The sentence mixes present simple and present perfect incorrectly for a past time reference. 'Before in the secondary school' is awkward; use 'when I was in secondary school'. Use past simple 'was' and 'made' to describe past states and completed actions. Suggestion: place time expressions near the verb and keep past tense consistent.

× I do write physical letters when my friends are birthday.

✓ I do write physical letters for my friends' birthdays.

The phrase 'when my friends are birthday' is ungrammatical. Use the possessive plural 'friends'' and the noun 'birthdays' with the preposition 'for' to indicate purpose. Present simple 'do write' is acceptable for habitual actions, but simpler 'I write physical letters for my friends' birthdays' is more natural.

× I usually write physical letters to them to show one year pass and to say happy birthday to them.

✓ I usually write physical letters to them to mark another year passing and to wish them a happy birthday.

The phrase 'to show one year pass' is incorrect in form and meaning. Use 'to mark another year passing' or 'to celebrate another year'. Also 'to say happy birthday to them' is better phrased as 'to wish them a happy birthday'. Maintain consistent verb forms and natural collocations.

× I think yes, I have kept all my friends handwritten letter umm from them and all the gifts and yeah.

✓ I think so; I have kept all my friends' handwritten letters and the gifts I received from them.

Plural and possessive errors: use 'friends'' (possessive plural) and plural 'letters'. 'Have kept' is present perfect and fine for actions with relevance to now. Also clarify 'from them' by attaching it to 'gifts I received'. Avoid filler words in formal answers.

× But sadly I won't carry pen and pencil with me when I go out as nowadays I use iPad to drop down notes and sometimes I'll use phone to just voice record all the important things so I won't do that.

✓ But sadly I don't carry a pen or pencil with me when I go out, because nowadays I use an iPad to take notes and sometimes I use my phone to voice-record important things, so I don't do that.

Incorrect future/modal use: 'won't carry' and 'I'll use' are inappropriate for habitual actions; use simple present 'don't carry' and 'use'. Article errors: 'a pen or pencil' needed. 'Drop down notes' is incorrect collocation; use 'take notes'. Use 'voice-record' or 'record' and keep tense consistent for habitual behaviors.

× Well, I like to fold paper, like folding the paper into flowers or maybe some different animals.

✓ Well, I liked to fold paper, for example into flowers or different animals, when I was a child.

The question asked about childhood activities, so past tense 'liked' is required. Also streamline redundancy ('like to fold' and 'folding') and specify time frame 'when I was a child'.

× And I usually, umm, use them as a gift to my parents.

✓ And I usually used them as gifts for my parents.

Preposition and tense: for past habitual actions use past 'used'. The correct preposition is 'for' when giving something to someone. Also 'gifts' should be plural to match 'them'. Avoid fillers and keep concise.