公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Answer the question directly with a clear topic sentence. The phrase “When I walk show” is unclear, and “I don't have to go any park” does not clearly express whether you liked parks. Use the past tense to describe your childhood and explain that your hometown had few or no public parks. Also, use natural phrases such as “go to a park” and “public spaces.”

示例: No, I didn’t go to parks very often as a child because my hometown didn’t have many public spaces. There was only one small park near my neighborhood, and it was usually crowded. Therefore, I normally played at home or visited my relatives instead.

建议: Your answer has a clear positive response and an example, but several words make it difficult to understand. Say “have a picnic,” “go with my friends,” and “talk about our problems”; “shoe” and “flame” are incorrect word choices. Use the present tense for your general preference and the past tense for last Saturday. Add a linking phrase such as “For example” to connect the specific experience naturally.

示例: Yes, I do. I enjoy going to the park because I can have a picnic and chat with my friends in a relaxing environment. For example, last Saturday, we met at a park, had lunch together, and talked about some personal problems.

建议: State your opinion directly and explain the benefits of parks with accurate vocabulary. Use the plural form “more parks” and say “green spaces can reduce air pollution and provide a healthier environment,” rather than “reduce a street” and “is have.” Organize the answer with one reason followed by a result, and avoid unclear words such as “pays” unless you mean “residents” or “people.”

示例: Yes, definitely. I would like to see more parks in my city because green spaces can reduce air pollution and make the city more pleasant. They would also give residents places to exercise, relax, and spend time with their families.

建议: Name the park accurately and explain why you want to visit it. Say “in the future” and “Central Park in New York” instead of “in my future” and “at America.” Avoid repetition such as “want want,” and replace the unclear phrase “want to share” with a specific activity, such as “take photos” or “share the experience with my friends.” Use a few shorter sentences to improve clarity.

示例: Yes, I’d love to visit Central Park in New York in the future. I want to see how large and beautiful it is because I have seen it in films and photographs. I’d also like to have a picnic, take some photos, and relax there with my friends.

× When I walk show, I don't have to go any park because in my hometown we don't have public space or park more for our residents.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have to go to any park because, in my hometown, we didn't have public spaces or parks for our residents.

The question asks about your childhood, so the answer should use the past tense. Use was and didn't have instead of present-tense forms. The phrase go also requires the preposition to before a destination.

× When I walk show, I don't have to go any park because in my hometown we don't have public space or park more for our residents.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have to go to any park because, in my hometown, we didn't have public spaces or parks for our residents.

The verb go is followed by to when it expresses movement toward a place: go to any park. The preposition to cannot be omitted here.

× When I walk show, I don't have to go any park because in my hometown we don't have public space or park more for our residents.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't have to go to any park because, in my hometown, we didn't have public spaces or parks for our residents.

The sentence refers generally to public spaces and parks, so both countable nouns should be plural. Use public spaces and parks rather than public space and park.

× Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems, for example, as Saturday we made up at the park and have a lunch

✓ Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems. For example, on Saturday, we made up at the park and had lunch.

Use on with a specific day: on Saturday. The preposition as is not used before a day when referring to an event that happened on that day.

× Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems, for example, as Saturday we made up at the park and have a lunch

✓ Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems. For example, on Saturday, we made up at the park and had lunch.

The phrase on Saturday describes a completed past event, so the coordinated verbs should be in the past tense: made up and had. Do not use the present-tense form have in this past-time context.

× Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems, for example, as Saturday we made up at the park and have a lunch

✓ Yes, I do. I really like to go to the park and have our picnic and shoe with my flame to talk about our problems. For example, on Saturday, we made up at the park and had lunch.

Lunch is normally an uncountable meal noun when speaking generally, so it does not take a before it. Say have lunch or had lunch, not have a lunch.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in my city because I think green space that can reduce a street for people to live in the city and is have a good environment for people and pays

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I think green spaces can reduce stress in the city and provide a good environment for people.

After more, use the plural countable noun parks. Green spaces is also appropriate when referring to several areas of vegetation in a city.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in my city because I think green space that can reduce a street for people to live in the city and is have a good environment for people and pays

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because I think green spaces can reduce stress in the city and provide a good environment for people.

The original sentence has an incomplete and confused structure after I think. Use a complete clause with a subject and verb: green spaces can reduce ... and provide .... Keep coordinated verbs in a parallel form.

× In my future I want to go to the central park at America because I want to see how big they are and want want to share and have a picnic and relax in the park I think it's real good for me

✓ In the future, I want to go to Central Park in America because I want to see how big it is, share and have a picnic, and relax in the park. I think it is really good for me.

Use the fixed expression in the future rather than in my future. Use in, not at, with a country: in America.

× In my future I want to go to the central park at America because I want to see how big they are and want want to share and have a picnic and relax in the park I think it's real good for me

✓ In the future, I want to go to Central Park in America because I want to see how big it is, share and have a picnic, and relax in the park. I think it is really good for me.

Central Park is a singular place, so use the singular pronoun it and the singular verb is. They are is incorrect when the antecedent is one park.

× In my future I want to go to the central park at America because I want to see how big they are and want want to share and have a picnic and relax in the park I think it's real good for me

✓ In the future, I want to go to Central Park in America because I want to see how big it is, share and have a picnic, and relax in the park. I think it is really good for me.

Really is the adverb used to modify the adjective good. Real is generally an adjective, so real good is not the standard form in this sentence.

× In my future I want to go to the central park at America because I want to see how big they are and want want to share and have a picnic and relax in the park I think it's real good for me

✓ In the future, I want to go to Central Park in America because I want to see how big it is, share and have a picnic, and relax in the park. I think it is really good for me.

The original contains a repeated verb, want want, and several independent ideas joined without suitable punctuation. Remove the repetition, use commas in the list, and separate the final idea into a new sentence.