公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct tense and number errors, reduce repetition, and add a specific detail (e.g., activities). Use a linking word if adding details.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. I lived on a mountain and had two small mountain parks nearby, so I spent most of my childhood playing there, especially hiking and picnicking with my family.

建议: Answer directly, correct phrasing and reduce redundancy. Use linking words to connect reason and contrast, and give one specific example of when you go to parks now.

示例: Yes, I still like parks, but because I study at university I don't have much free time. However, when I do have a break, I often visit a nearby park to relax and reminisce about my childhood weekends.

建议: Make your answer more organised and fluent. Avoid filler words (uh, um). Start with a clear opinion, then give specific reasons and examples of recent improvements. Use appropriate vocabulary (industrialized, plant trees) and correct grammar.

示例: Yes, I would. Changchun is an industrialized city, but recently the local government has been planting trees and creating small gardens along the roads. As a result, there are more green spaces now, which I really appreciate because they improve air quality and provide places to relax.

建议: Be concise and use correct tense and pronouns. Start with a clear statement, give a specific plan and timeframe, and avoid repetition. Mention why you want to visit and who will go with you.

示例: Yes. I want to visit Jingyu Tan, a large park in Changchun. My roommates and I tried to go last term but were too busy, so we plan to visit either this term or next year to enjoy the scenery and go boating together.

× Yes, I really love going to parks I live on.

✓ Yes, I really loved going to the parks near where I lived.

The student is speaking about childhood, so past tense should be used. Also the phrase 'parks I live on' is ungrammatical; use 'parks near where I lived' to indicate proximity. Suggestion: use simple past for habitual past actions ('loved', 'lived').

× I live on the mountain and there is 2 mountain parks nearby so I I take most of my childhood time in the parks.

✓ I lived on a mountain and there were two mountain parks nearby, so I spent most of my childhood time in the parks.

Number agreement and tense are wrong: 'there is 2' should be 'there were two' (plural and past). Also the overall context is past, so verbs should be past tense ('lived', 'were', 'spent'). Replace numeral with word 'two' for natural speech. Remove duplicate 'I'.

× Actually yes, but nowadays I'm studying at university and I really don't have time to go to parks.

✓ Actually yes, but nowadays I'm studying at university and I really don't have time to go to parks.

No grammatical change needed; sentence correctly uses present continuous for current study and present simple for habitual lack of time. Included here only for reference to tense consistency.

× I spend most of the time on studying, but in my free time I also try to find some time to go there and find some memory in my childhood.

✓ I spend most of my time studying, but in my free time I try to find time to go there and recall memories from my childhood.

Incorrect preposition 'on studying' should be removed; use verb + -ing without 'on' ('spend time studying'). 'Find some time' is repetitive; 'find time' is natural. 'Find some memory in my childhood' is awkward; use 'recall memories from my childhood'. Also adjust article 'the time' to 'my time'.

× I study in Changchun and uh, uh, in post it's uh, it's a industrialization, uh, city.

✓ I study in Changchun, and it used to be an industrialized city.

Article and adjective form errors: 'a industrialization' is wrong — use 'an' before vowel sound and correct noun/adjective: 'industrialized city' or 'industrial city'. Also 'in post' is unclear; likely meant 'in the past' so replace with 'used to be'.

× And nowadays it plants many trees and flowers along the, along the road and make many small, uh, gardens like parks, uh, in, I love it.

✓ Nowadays they plant many trees and flowers along the roads and have made many small garden-like parks; I love that.

Subject agreement: 'it plants' should be 'they plant' or 'the city plants'. 'Along the, along the road' should be 'along the roads' or 'along the road'. 'Make many small gardens like parks' is awkward; use 'have made many small garden-like parks'. Ensure verb agreement and correct noun compounds ('garden-like parks').

× Yes, there is a really big one in Changchun called Jingyu Tan.

✓ Yes, there is a really big park in Changchun called Jingyu Tan.

Sentence is mostly correct but needs explicit noun 'park' after 'one' for clarity. 'There is' correctly used for existence here (present), no tense change needed.

× But I, we plan, we plan to go there together with my roommates, but uh, we didn't find time last time and we plan to go maybe this term or next year, but we will go.

✓ We planned to go there together with my roommates, but we couldn't find the time last term; we plan to go maybe this term or next year.

Mixing tenses and redundant phrases cause confusion. Use past simple 'planned' or 'had planned' to refer to previous plans and 'couldn't find the time' for inability. Then use present simple 'we plan' for future intention. Remove repeated 'but' and filler words. 'We will go' is redundant after 'we plan to go'; keep one clear statement of intention.