公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and fix tense/word order errors.

示例: Yes, I did. My father and I used to meet in a different city, and whenever we did we would go to the local park, which is one of my favourite childhood memories. For example, we often fed ducks and walked along the lake, which made those visits very special.

建议: Give a clear direct answer, then explain frequency and reason with linking words. Correct word order and use specific details rather than vague phrases.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Although there are many parks in my city, I rarely go with friends because we are often busy; however, I like to visit beautiful parks alone to relax and read a book.

建议: Start with a concise opinion, then give clear reasons and a specific example. Fix article and number errors and avoid redundancy.

示例: Yes, I would. We only have two public parks in my city, so adding more green spaces would give residents more places to exercise and socialise. For instance, a new park near my neighbourhood would make it easier for people to take daily walks.

建议: Clarify your meaning and correct negatives/confusing phrasing. Begin with a clear statement of which park you mean and explain why you want to visit using specific details.

示例: Yes, I would love to visit Gorky Park in Moscow in the future. It looks very attractive online, and I want to try its outdoor activities and cultural events, such as the bike paths and summer concerts.

× Actually, yes, because my father and I, we lived in a different city and every time when we met, we went to the park.

✓ Actually, yes, because my father and I lived in different cities and every time we met we went to the park.

The original repeats the subject with 'we' unnecessarily and uses 'a different city' which implies only one city; 'different cities' fits if father and I lived apart. Remove the extra pronoun and unnecessary commas for clearer subject-verb structure.

× So it was my it is my childhood good memory and I really like to walk with my friends in the park and to remember this beautiful attractive memories with.

✓ So it is one of my best childhood memories, and I really like walking with my friends in the park to remember those beautiful memories.

Errors: mixed tenses ('was' then 'it is'), redundant words ('good' and 'attractive'), incorrect phrase ending ('memories with'), and awkward infinitive use. Use consistent present tense 'is', use 'one of my best childhood memories', use gerund 'walking', and 'those' to refer to memories.

× Yes I do. For example, we have a lot of parks in my city, so however we my friend and I, it's a rare situation when we walk there.

✓ Yes, I do. For example, we have a lot of parks in my city, but my friend and I rarely go there together.

Problems: misplaced 'however', awkward word order 'we my friend and I', and incorrect phrase 'it's a rare situation when we walk there'. Use 'but' to contrast and 'rarely go there together' for natural expression.

× But when I'm alone I prefer to go to some of beautiful parks.

✓ But when I'm alone I prefer going to some beautiful parks.

Use the gerund 'going' after 'prefer' for general preferences, and use 'some beautiful parks' (remove 'of').

× Yes, I would like to see more public parks in my city because we have only two one ones so it would be a good idea to have a more public parks when I go to walk.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more public parks in my city because we only have one or two, so it would be a good idea to have more public parks to walk in.

Original has mixed quantifiers ('two one ones'), incorrect article and plural form ('a more public parks'), and awkward purpose phrase 'when I go to walk'. Clarify number as 'one or two' and use 'more public parks' and 'to walk in'.

× I don't want green space in a Moscow, it's really attractive and I would love to visit it because it sounds fantastic.

✓ I want to visit the green spaces in Moscow; they're really attractive and I would love to see them because they sound fantastic.

The original 'I don't want green space in a Moscow' is likely wrong word choice and article use. Replace with 'I want to visit the green spaces in Moscow'. Use plural 'spaces' if referring to parks, correct article 'Moscow' without 'a', and match pronouns 'they'/'them' for plural.