公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and consistent in tense, use a clear topic sentence, reduce hesitation, and give one specific supporting detail. Keep to 2–3 sentences and use linking words for coherence.

示例: No, I didn't really go to public parks as a child. Instead, I usually went to a small playground near my house to hang out with friends, so I wasn't interested in visiting larger parks.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and one or two specific reasons with a linking word. Avoid repetition and hesitation, and finish the sentence clearly.

示例: Yes, I do. As I've grown older, I prefer going to parks because they help me relax and get fresh air, and I often go there to read or exercise on weekends.

建议: State your opinion clearly, then give a specific reason and an example. Use linking words (for example/because) and correct basic grammar (there are/many). Keep it concise.

示例: Yes, I would. My city has many new apartment blocks but very few parks, so I think building more green spaces would improve residents' health and community life.

建议: Answer directly, then give a specific example or preference. Avoid vague phrasing and repetition. Use one linking word to connect the reason. Keep it within 2–3 clear sentences.

示例: I'm not sure, but I would like to visit the larger parks I remember from Cambridge. For example, I enjoyed Cambridge's green spaces and would love to return to relax and explore them again.

× No I don't, I didn't because I usually go to the UMM where I usually went to the playground, umm near my house and then hang out, hung out with my friend umm.

✓ No, I didn't, because I usually went to the UMM where I went to the playground near my house and hung out with my friends.

The student mixes present and past tenses (use of 'don't' and 'didn't', 'usually go' with 'usually went'), causing inconsistency. Use past tense throughout when talking about childhood habits: 'didn't' and 'usually went' and 'hung out'. Also pluralize 'friend' to 'friends' to match context and add commas. Suggestion: decide the time frame (past) and keep verbs in past tense consistently.

× So I don't I didn't like go to the park as our child.

✓ So I didn't like going to the park as a child.

This sentence has redundant and conflicting auxiliary verbs ('don't' and 'didn't') and wrong word order 'like go'. Use a single past tense negative 'didn't' and the gerund 'going' after 'like'. Also correct 'our child' to 'a child'.

× Oh yes, I do. I prefer going to park these days because when, uh, as I grew up, grew up, I felt like I prefer going to the park to come and relax Yeah get out the.

✓ Oh yes, I do. I prefer going to the park these days because as I grew up I felt that I prefer going to the park to relax and get out of the house.

Mixes present and past ('prefer' and 'grew up' repeated) and missing articles ('to park' should be 'to the park'). Use 'as I grew up' once and maintain present tense for current preference. Replace informal fragments with complete phrases: 'to relax' and 'get out of the house'.

× I prefer going to park these days because when, uh, as I grew up, grew up, I felt like I prefer going to the park to come and relax Yeah get out the.

✓ I prefer going to the park these days because as I grew up I felt that I prefer going to the park to relax and get out of the house.

The phrase 'going to park' is missing the definite article 'the'. Use 'the park' when referring to parks in general as a known place type. Also 'get out the' is incomplete; complete noun needed ('house').

× Yes, of course. Umm, actually in my city I couldn't see the many. I can see the many parks. Here is all always uh, build apartment, not park. So I hope.

✓ Yes, of course. Actually, in my city I can hardly see many parks. Here they always build apartments, not parks, so I hope there will be more.

Pronoun and quantifier misuse: 'I couldn't see the many. I can see the many parks' is incorrect and confused. Use 'can hardly see many parks' to express scarcity. 'Here is all always build apartment' is ungrammatical; correct to 'Here they always build apartments'. Add a clear ending 'so I hope there will be more' to complete the thought.

× Umm, I don't know about this, but when I lived in Cambridge, uh, there were so many parks. So I never found out the park because umm, where everywhere have.

✓ I don't know about this, but when I lived in Cambridge there were so many parks that I never had trouble finding one because they were everywhere.

Sentence fragments and incorrect phrase 'never found out the park' and 'where everywhere have'. Use past tense 'lived' and 'there were', and idiomatic phrasing 'never had trouble finding one' and 'they were everywhere' to express abundance. Ensure coherent clause connection with 'that'.