公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cải thiện ngữ pháp cơ bản (thì động từ, số ít/số nhiều) và loại bỏ tiếng “uh/umm” thừa. Trả lời nên bắt đầu trực tiếp (topic sentence), sau đó cung cấp 1–2 chi tiết hỗ trợ rõ ràng, cụ thể (ví dụ: loại trò chơi, tần suất). Giữ tối đa 5 câu và sử dụng liên từ đơn giản để mạch lạc (for example, so, because).

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went to a small park near my house to play football and ride my bike with close friends. We usually visited on weekends, and it was a great place to be active and social.

建议: Sử dụng cấu trúc câu rõ ràng: chủ đề + lý do. Tránh lỗi động từ (interested in + gerund) và trình bày lý do một cách mạch lạc (e.g., busy with studies). Hạn chế tiếng ngập ngừng; nếu cần, dùng một câu đơn giản rồi thêm một câu giải thích với liên từ (because/so).

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I rarely have time nowadays. I am busy preparing for IELTS and school exams, so I usually spend my free time studying instead.

建议: Câu trả lời tương đối rõ ràng nhưng cần cụ thể hơn và tránh lặp từ (many/more). Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp, sau đó nêu 2 lý do cụ thể với liên từ (for example, which means). Thêm ví dụ cụ thể về hoạt động hoặc lợi ích để tăng điểm nội dung và từ vựng.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide green spaces for relaxation and exercise. For example, new parks could include football fields and playgrounds, which would let families and friends enjoy outdoor activities together.

建议: Cần cải thiện tính mạch lạc và ngữ pháp: dùng cấu trúc "I am interested in..." và nói rõ tên nơi, lí do cụ thể (flora, fauna, photography). Tránh lỗi từ vựng ('stocks' nên là 'trees' or 'species') và giới hạn 2–3 câu: câu chủ đề + câu giải thích/ ví dụ. Sử dụng linking words như 'because' hoặc 'so' để rõ ràng.

示例: Yes, I want to visit a large national park in Ningbing province in the future. I am attracted by its extensive forests and wildlife, because I could hike, learn about different species and take photographs.

× Well, at first, I remember when I were younger, I used to go to parks, uh, nears my house to either side and play sports with my close friends.

✓ Well, at first, I remember when I was younger, I used to go to parks near my house on both sides and play sports with my close friends.

'Were' is incorrect for singular first person in past tense; use 'was'. 'Nears' is incorrect form and should be 'near'. 'To either side' is awkward; 'on both sides' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'I was' for past singular and check noun/adverb forms.

× And my family is really uh, spacious and uh, have more uh.

✓ And my family is really big and has many members.

'Spacious' describes places, not families. 'Have' must agree with singular subject 'my family' so 'has'. 'More' is vague; specify 'many members'. Suggestion: use adjectives that suit nouns and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× Well, to learners and I still really, uh, interested in go there, but, umm, this day I'm quite busy to, uh, practice IELTS or uh, exams at school, so I rarely spend my time on, uh, doing my homework rather than go there.

✓ Well, I and some classmates are still really interested in going there, but nowadays I'm quite busy practicing for the IELTS and school exams, so I rarely spend time going there and usually do my homework instead.

Sentence had multiple structure errors: wrong subject phrase 'to learners and I', missing verb 'are', incorrect 'interested in go' (should be 'interested in going'), awkward 'this day' should be 'nowadays', incorrect 'busy to practice' should be 'busy practicing', and wrong comparison 'rather than go there' should be 'instead'. Suggestion: identify subject, use 'interested in' + gerund, use 'busy' + gerund, and parallel structure for contrasts.

× Well, I really like to see a wide range of parks in my city because I can go there and explore many things and I can play more sports and many activities with my family or friends.

✓ Well, I would really like to see a wider range of parks in my city because I could go there to explore many things and play more sports and do many activities with my family or friends.

'Like to see a wide range' is acceptable but 'would like' is more natural for preference. Use 'wider' for comparative. 'Play more sports and many activities' mixes verbs; use 'play more sports and do many activities'. Suggestion: maintain parallel verb forms and use appropriate comparative adjectives.

× Well, I really interested in two numbers part which is located in Ning Bing province is a home What I like most maybe is is a home or 2000 of stocks and I can immerse myself in nature.

✓ Well, I am really interested in two parks located in Ning Bing province. What I like most is that they are like a natural home with about 2000 trees, and I can immerse myself in nature.

Missing auxiliary 'am' after 'I'. 'Two numbers part' is incorrect; should be 'two parks'. Redundant 'is' and unclear '2000 of stocks' likely means '2000 trees'. 'A home' needs clarification: 'like a natural home'. Suggestion: include correct verbs, use precise nouns, and clarify quantities.

× So I also learn about many species and umm uh took photo and take photo.

✓ So I can also learn about many species and take photos.

Mixes tenses: 'learn' present okay if general, but 'took photo' is past and 'take photo' present; use consistent present 'take photos'. Use plural 'photos'. Suggestion: maintain consistent tense and use gerund or base form after modal verbs (e.g., 'can take').