公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Clarifiez le temps verbal et évitez les répétitions. Utilisez une phrase d'ouverture claire puis ajoutez un ou deux détails précis en évitant de répéter les mêmes mots (par ex. «love/love»). Utilisez des formes verbales correctes (was/would) et corrigez les erreurs comme «took part part».

示例: Yes, I did. As a child I loved going to parks with my family because they made me feel free and independent. For example, I often ran around and joined games such as football and tag, which helped me make friends and stay active.

建议: Réduisez les hésitations et terminez la phrase correctement. Commencez par une affirmation directe, utilisez un connecteur pour expliquer la raison, et fournissez un ou deux détails spécifiques sur ce que vous faites au parc et comment cela vous aide.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often walk among the trees and breathe fresh air, which helps me forget work stress and feel refreshed; sometimes I also do light exercise or read, which calms my mind.

建议: Corrigez la grammaire et structurez l'opinion avec une raison claire et une suggestion concrète. Evitez les phrases incomplètes comme «So government and should». Utilisez un lien logique entre l'idée et la recommandation.

示例: Yes, I would. Increasing green spaces would improve people's comfort and mental well-being, so local governments should invest in creating more parks and maintaining them for community use.

建议: Évitez les débuts maladroits («Yet») et terminez les phrases avec des détails précis. Donnez un exemple concret et expliquez pourquoi vous voulez visiter ce type de parc, en utilisant un vocabulaire descriptif correct («landscapes» au singulier/pluriel correctement).

示例: There are many parks I would like to visit abroad, for example parks in Japan, which have unique landscaping and tranquil gardens; I would love to see their cherry blossoms and traditional garden design.

× Yes, when I was a kid I love going to parks with my family and close friends which make me feel free and independent.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid I loved going to parks with my family and close friends, which made me feel free and independent.

The speaker is describing past habits and feelings, so verbs should be in the past tense. 'Love' and 'make' are present tense and must be changed to 'loved' and 'made' to match 'when I was a kid'. Use a comma before the nonrestrictive relative clause 'which made me feel...'. Suggestion: consistently use past tense when talking about childhood experiences.

× For example, I often love when I run around and took part part in activities like football and tag.

✓ For example, I often loved running around and taking part in activities like football and tag.

This sentence mixes present ('love', 'run') and past ('took') forms. To describe habitual past actions, use past forms: 'loved' and the gerund forms 'running' and 'taking part' (verb + -ing) rather than 'when I run around' or 'took part'. Also remove the duplicated word 'part'. Suggestion: use consistent past-tense and gerunds for activities in past habitual contexts.

× Yes, I do. I'll, uh, I still go to parks now, uh, because they make me forget the pressure of work and uh, uh, uh, walking among trees and interacting with nature, uh, help me to feel refreshed and.

✓ Yes, I do. I still go to parks now because they help me forget the pressure of work, and walking among the trees and interacting with nature helps me feel refreshed.

This reply should be in present tense, so use 'help' or 'helps' appropriately. Subject-verb agreement requires 'walking among the trees and interacting with nature' (a singular noun phrase) to take 'helps'. Also remove filler sounds and complete the final clause. Suggestion: remove hesitations in speech, ensure subject-verb agreement, and complete sentences for clarity.

× Yes I would because creating green spaces make people feel comfortable and improve their mental well-being.

✓ Yes, I would because creating green spaces makes people feel comfortable and improves their mental well-being.

The noun phrase 'creating green spaces' is singular and requires singular verbs 'makes' and 'improves'. Use third-person singular present tense for these verbs. Suggestion: identify the subject and ensure verbs agree in number.

× So government and should invest in these areas.

✓ So the government should invest in these areas.

The sentence is missing the definite article 'the' before 'government' and has an extra 'and'. The correct structure is 'the government should invest...'. Suggestion: include necessary articles and remove extraneous conjunctions to form a grammatical sentence.

× Yet there are many parks that I would visit and discover abroad.

✓ There are many parks that I would like to visit and discover abroad.

Using 'Yet' at the start is awkward here; 'I would visit' sounds incomplete. To express future desire, use 'I would like to visit' or 'I want to visit'. This clarifies intention. Suggestion: use 'would like to' to politely state future desires.

× So like Japanese parks, they have a unique landscapes and.

✓ For example, Japanese parks have unique landscapes.

The phrase 'a unique landscapes' mixes singular article 'a' with plural 'landscapes'. Also 'So like' and 'they' are unnecessary. Use 'Japanese parks have unique landscapes' to be concise. Remove the trailing 'and' and complete the thought. Suggestion: match article with noun number and avoid redundant words.