公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make the answer more concise, correct grammar, and add one specific memory or detail. Use a clear topic sentence, one linking word, and avoid repetition.

示例: Yes. I loved going to the park as a child because it was where I met my friends and played games. For example, every Saturday we played hide-and-seek under the big oak tree, which made the visits very exciting and memorable.

建议: Reduce repetition of 'I love' and improve coherence by using linking words and specific details about activities you do now in parks.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I often walk there to relax and watch people. For instance, I usually walk for thirty minutes, sometimes sit on a bench to read, and enjoy watching joggers and families.

建议: Provide a clear reason and one specific benefit or example of how parks help people. Fix grammar (help → helps) and use a linking word to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I would. More parks would help people relax and improve public health; for example, new green spaces could encourage more outdoor exercise and give families a safe place to meet.

建议: Make the response grammatically correct, concise, and add one specific park or feature you want to see. Use a linking word to explain why.

示例: Yes. I would love to visit parks around Paris because they look beautiful and peaceful. For example, I hope to see the gardens of Versailles one day, since I’ve seen photos of their formal layout and fountains, which appeal to me.

× When I was a child I loved to go to the park because in park you can see a lot of people, a lot of children playing and I love playing with other children when I was a child.

✓ When I was a child I loved to go to the park because in the park you could see a lot of people, many children playing, and I loved playing with other children when I was a child.

The phrase 'in park' is missing the definite article 'the' before a specific place, which is a 'there be' / article issue. Also tense consistency: the student is talking about past habits, so present 'can see' and 'love' should be changed to past forms 'could see' and 'loved' to match past context. Suggestion: use 'the park' for a known/specific place and keep verbs in past tense for past routines.

× I love going to parks because I love to walk, I love to see people, I love the street and I love to see the nature with the people.

✓ I love going to parks because I love walking, I like seeing people, I enjoy the streets, and I like seeing nature with other people.

The sentence overuses 'love' and mixes noun phrases awkwardly. 'To walk' can be better as the gerund 'walking' when listing activities. 'The street' is unnatural; plural 'the streets' or 'streets' fits general meaning. 'See the nature' is unidiomatic; use 'see nature' or 'see the natural scenery'. Also keep parallel structure in lists (use gerunds or verbs consistently). Suggestion: use varied verbs and gerunds for natural, parallel phrasing.

× Yes, I love to see parks in my city and it help a lot of people to relax and to enjoy the nature.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city, and they would help a lot of people to relax and enjoy nature.

Two issues: subject-verb agreement and article/word choice. 'It help' is incorrect because 'it' does not agree with plural 'parks'; use 'they would help'. Also 'I love to see parks' is awkward for the question about wanting more parks—'I would love to see more parks' is more appropriate. 'Enjoy the nature' is better as 'enjoy nature' without 'the'. Suggestion: match subject and verb number and use conditional/modal 'would' for preference; drop unnecessary articles.

× I want to go parks around Paris because I love Paris a lot and it's been my dream to go there and I see pictures from in the Internet that parks in Paris are very beautiful and very relaxing.

✓ I want to go to parks around Paris because I love Paris a lot; it's been my dream to go there, and I have seen pictures on the Internet showing that parks in Paris are very beautiful and relaxing.

Multiple issues: missing preposition 'to' after 'go' when followed by a place ('go to parks'); 'see pictures from in the Internet' has incorrect prepositions—use 'have seen pictures on the Internet'. Use present perfect 'have seen' to link past experience to present. Use semicolon or commas to improve sentence structure. Suggestion: include correct prepositions ('to', 'on'), use present perfect for experiences, and use gerund/participial phrase 'showing that' for clarity.

× and I see pictures from in the Internet that parks in Paris are very beautiful and very relaxing.

✓ and I have seen pictures on the Internet that show parks in Paris are very beautiful and relaxing.

'the Internet' needs 'the' (definite article) and the preposition should be 'on the Internet', not 'in the Internet'. Also 'see' should be present perfect 'have seen' when referring to past experiences relevant now. Use 'that show' to connect the clause. Suggestion: use 'on the Internet' and present perfect for relevant past experiences.