公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar (tense and subject-verb agreement), reduce repetition, and make meaning clear with specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence in the past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid unnecessary filler words.

示例: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was a child because they helped me relax and spend time with friends. For example, we often played football on weekends and had picnics, which made those afternoons memorable.

建议: Correct grammar and word choice, remove hesitations, and give one clear benefit with a specific example. Use linking words such as 'because' or 'so' properly. Keep answer concise (max 5 sentences).

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they refresh me and help me sleep better at night. For example, after a 30-minute walk in the park I feel less stressed and more focused for work the next day.

建议: Fix pronunciation and small words (‘Yes’ not ‘Jess’), improve sentence structure and specificity. State a clear opinion then give two concise, specific benefits using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'. Avoid vague terms like 'confident' without explanation.

示例: Yes, I would. More parks would be beneficial because they increase green space and improve air quality. For example, new parks could provide safe play areas for children and quiet spots for people to exercise or relax.

建议: Clarify the park name, correct tense and sentence structure, and finish the idea with a specific reason. Begin with a short topic sentence and add a concrete detail (what the park offers) using linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

示例: Yes. I would like to visit Tonya Park in the future because I have heard it has beautiful gardens and a large lake. For example, people say it is ideal for boating and photography, so I want to spend a half day exploring it.

× Yes I do, I usually go to parks when I was a child and I really love it because it have me stay calm and hang a hang out with my friends every tonight.

✓ Yes, I did. I usually went to parks when I was a child and I really loved them because they helped me stay calm and hang out with my friends every evening.

The student mixes present and past tenses incorrectly. 'I do' should be 'I did' to match 'as a child' (past). Use past simple 'went' and 'loved' for past habits. 'It have me stay calm' is incorrect subject and verb form; 'parks' is plural so use 'they helped me'. 'Hang a hang out' is redundant and incorrect; use 'hang out'. 'Every tonight' is wrong; use 'every evening' or 'every night'. Suggestions: keep past tense when referring to childhood, match plural subject with plural pronoun and past verb ('they helped'), and use correct time expressions.

× Yes, I do because I feel it give me uh, energy to, to, uh, work tomorrow.

✓ Yes, I do because I feel it gives me energy to work the next day.

The sentence uses present tense 'I feel' but then an incorrect base verb 'give' instead of third-person singular 'gives' (subject 'it'). Also 'work tomorrow' is acceptable but 'the next day' fits reported speech; keep consistent tense. Remove filler words. Suggestion: use 'it gives' for third-person singular and simplify to 'gives me energy to work tomorrow/the next day.'

× And I like to, I like going to Prague because I have, I can read the fresh air.

✓ And I like going to parks because I can breathe the fresh air.

The student likely meant 'parks' not 'Prague' (a city name) — this is a lexical error. 'I can read the fresh air' uses incorrect verb; use 'breathe' or 'enjoy'. Also remove stuttering. Suggestion: use 'breathe the fresh air' or 'enjoy the fresh air.'

× Jess, I would like to see more parks in my city.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city.

'Jess' appears to be a misspelling of 'Yes' or misused proper noun; use correct interjection 'Yes'. Ensure correct word choice to convey affirmation.

× It helps people, uh, to have a place with, uh, many green plants and, uh, have a place which is provide a lot of fresh air and gives them, uh, uh, confident.

✓ It helps people to have a place with many green plants, which provides a lot of fresh air and gives them confidence.

Problems: parallel structure and verb forms. 'Have a place... and have a place which is provide' is redundant and 'provide' is wrong form — should be 'provides' to match singular 'place' or rephrase. 'Gives them confident' uses wrong word form; use noun 'confidence'. Also remove filler sounds and redundant phrases. Suggestion: use concise structure, ensure subject-verb agreement ('which provides') and correct noun forms ('confidence').

× Cheers. Definitely Tonya Park is one of my favorite parks and I wanted to I want to visit it in the future because I heard people say in the in that profit it provide a lot of.

✓ Definitely. Tonya Park is one of my favorite parks and I want to visit it in the future because I heard people say that it provides a lot of green space and fresh air.

Errors: 'wanted to I want' mixes past and present—use present 'I want' for future intention. 'I heard people say in the in that profit' is garbled; likely meant 'I heard people say that'. 'It provide' must be 'it provides' (third-person singular). Sentence is incomplete 'a lot of.' Provide the object, e.g., 'green space and fresh air.' Suggestions: remove unnecessary words, keep consistent tense for future intentions, use correct reporting structure ('heard people say that'), and ensure subject-verb agreement ('it provides').