公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be clear, relevant and natural. Start with a direct topic sentence that answers the question, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid incorrect words (e.g., “work”) and grammatical errors; use correct articles and word order. Keep it under five sentences and use a linking word if you add details.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I enjoyed exploring the trees and ponds because I liked watching birds and playing on the grass. Because my family often had picnics there, the parks feel like happy memories.

建议: Answer directly and use clearer grammar to explain current situation and frequency. Use linking words (for example, “but” or “so”) to connect ideas, and give a specific example of how often you go now. Avoid repetition and fix word order and tense.

示例: Yes, I still like going to parks, but I go less often now because I am very busy with work. For example, I usually visit a park only once or twice a month instead of every weekend.

建议: Give a direct opinion and then support it with a specific reason or example. Use correct noun forms and articles (e.g., “parks are important public facilities”) and avoid repetition. Use a linking word like “because” to explain why you want more parks.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because parks are important public facilities for health and relaxation. For instance, more parks would give families places to exercise and children space to play safely.

建议: Be specific about the park or location you mean, and avoid filler words like “uh.” Start with a clear statement of the place, then explain why you want to visit with one or two concrete details. Use correct place names and prepositions.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Big Bend National Park in Texas in the future because it has vast green areas and beautiful landscapes. I want to hike there and see the native plants and wildlife.

× Yes, I love work, landscapes and natural light.

✓ Yes, I loved walking, landscapes and natural light.

The student likely meant activities related to parks; 'work' is incorrect. Also pronoun issue: original 'I love work' is unclear. Changing to 'I loved walking' fits past context (as a child). Suggestion: use precise verbs matching context (walk, play).

× I am person who loves nature.

✓ I am a person who loves nature.

Missing indefinite article 'a' before 'person'. This is an article/pronoun-related omission affecting sentence grammar. Always include necessary articles before singular countable nouns: 'a person'.

× I think that my my free time is a little now I am busy all of the time so I have to go back for less times.

✓ I think that I have little free time now; I am busy all the time, so I go to parks less often.

Multiple problems: repetition 'my my', incorrect phrasing 'free time is a little' (should be 'have little free time'), tense and adverb placement. 'Go back for less times' is ungrammatical; use 'go ... less often'. Suggestions: keep subject-verb agreement and use adverbs like 'less often' for frequency. Use semicolon or separate clauses for clarity.

× Yes, of course works is an important facilities in my country, but it has my country has a low number of parks.

✓ Yes, of course parks are important facilities in my country, but my country has a low number of parks.

Many errors: 'works' is wrong word; should be 'parks'. 'is an important facilities' mixes singular verb with plural noun; use 'parks are important facilities'. Repetition 'it has my country has' is redundant. Suggestion: keep subject and verb number consistent and avoid repetition.

× I want to go to work, uh, which is in an UC, especially in uh, Texas, uh, state, it has a lot of green nature.

✓ I want to go to a park, especially in Texas; it has a lot of green space.

Original uses 'work' and 'UC' incorrectly and has wrong prepositions and noun choices. Use 'go to a park' and 'in Texas'. 'Green nature' is awkward; use 'green space' or 'natural scenery'. Also split into clear clauses. Suggestion: choose correct nouns and prepositions and avoid filler words like 'uh'.