公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문장이 문법적으로 많이 틀리고 발화 흐름이 자연스럽지 않습니다. 과거 시제를 일관되게 사용하고, 주어-동사 일치를 맞추세요. 불필요한 반복을 줄이고 세 문장 이내로 핵심을 말한 뒤, 구체적인 활동(예: 숨바꼭질, 피크닉)으로 뒷받침하세요. 또한 연결어(예: "when I was young", "we often")를 사용해 흐름을 개선하세요.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. When I was young, my whole family often visited a nearby park where we played games like hide-and-seek and had picnics. Those outings were fun because we could run around and spend time together.

建议: 의사를 전달하려는 의도는 있으나 어순, 시제, 단어 선택이 부정확합니다. 현재의 선호를 명확한 주제문으로 말하고, 이유를 한두 개의 구체적 근거로 연결어(예: "because", "so")로 자연스럽게 설명하세요. 문장은 2~3개로 간결하게 유지하세요.

示例: I don't go to parks much these days. I prefer staying indoors because I enjoy reading and relaxing at home, and it's more comfortable for me to take naps or unwind there.

建议: 의견은 분명하지만 표현이 어색하고 반복이 있습니다. 먼저 간단한 주제문으로 답한 뒤, 해당 공원의 구체적 특징(이름, 잔디, 편의시설, 음식 배달 가능 등)을 연결어로 정리하세요. 중요한 정보는 정확한 단어(예: "large grassy areas", "convenience stores")로 표현하세요.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. For example, Han Gong Park is a large park with vast grassy areas, convenience stores nearby, and food delivery options, which makes it a pleasant place to relax and enjoy outdoor activities.

建议: 미래 계획을 말할 때는 조건절과 주절의 구조를 정확히 사용하세요. 목표(예: Central Park에 가고 싶다)를 먼저 말하고, 이유(규모, 조각 등)를 구체적으로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복을 피하고 문장을 2~3개로 깔끔하게 구성하세요.

示例: After I graduate from university, I would like to visit Central Park in New York. I've heard it's very large and features many sculptures and attractions, so I think it would be interesting to explore it in person.

× Yes, I like to go to park, Absolutely.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks, absolutely.

The student is describing a past habitual action; use past tense 'liked' and plural 'parks'. Also use gerund 'going' after 'liked'. (한국어 설명: 화자가 어린 시절을 회상하고 있으므로 과거 시제 'liked'를 사용해야 하며, 'go to park'는 관사와 복수형이 필요하므로 'going to parks'로 수정해야 합니다.)

× When I was young, my mom and dad with all my family, we liked to go to park and we were doing some hide and seek and I were played up, played and learn around all the way.

✓ When I was young, my mom, dad and the rest of my family liked to go to parks, and we played hide-and-seek and ran around and learned a lot.

Run-on sentence and incorrect verb forms: use simple past 'liked' and 'played', not 'were doing' or 'were played'; use plural 'parks' and correct nouns 'hide-and-seek'. Combine clauses clearly. (한국어 설명: 문장이 길게 이어져 구조가 혼란스럽고 시제·동사 형태가 잘못되었습니다. 과거 습관은 simple past를 사용하고 'played' 등 올바른 과거형을 쓰며 'hide-and-seek'으로 표기해야 합니다.)

× Well, in now I'm not really like to go to a park outside because and now I'm quite insiders so well I like to read some books or doing or not doing just like sleeping nap in my house is more better for me.

✓ Well, right now I don't really like to go to parks outside because I'm quite an indoors person, so I prefer to read books or take naps at home; that's better for me.

Use present simple for current habits: 'don't like', not 'I'm not really like'. 'Insiders' incorrect—use 'an indoors person'. 'More better' is redundant; use 'better'. Use gerunds correctly: 'reading' or 'taking naps' or simpler verbs 'read' and 'take naps'. (한국어 설명: 현재 습관을 말하므로 'don't like'와 같은 현재형을 사용해야 하고 'insiders'는 잘못된 표현으로 'an indoors person'으로 고쳐야 합니다. 'more better'는 중복 표현이므로 'better'로 수정합니다.)

× Yes, I prefer to see more parks in my city. My city has really big park, that name is Han Gong Park, and that park has really enormous grasses and some there are some convenience stores and we can deliver some food and we can enjoy it. So I like that part.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. My city has a really big park called Han Gong Park, which has large grassy areas, some convenience stores, and places to order food so we can enjoy it. So I like that park.

Use article 'a' with 'park' and correct plural 'grassy areas' or 'grass', not 'grasses'. 'That name is' should be 'called'. 'We can deliver some food' is incorrect; use 'order' or 'get food delivered'. Also 'that part' should be 'that park'. (한국어 설명: 단수 명사에는 관사 'a'가 필요하고 'grasses' 대신 'grassy areas'나 'grass'로 고쳐야 합니다. 'that name is' 대신 'called'을 사용하고 'deliver food' 대신 'order food' 또는 'get food delivered'로 표현해야 합니다.)

× If I graduate my university, then I want to go to Central Park in New York because that Central Park is many people say it, that park is really huge and there has some really many sculptures. So I really want to go with that park when I graduate university.

✓ When I graduate from university, I want to go to Central Park in New York because many people say it is really huge and it has many sculptures. So I really want to visit Central Park after I graduate.

Use 'when' not 'if' for expected future event and include preposition 'from' with 'graduate from university'. Simplify reported speech: 'many people say it is' and correct 'has many sculptures' (not 'there has some really many sculptures'). Use 'visit' rather than 'go with that park'. (한국어 설명: 졸업과 같은 확실한 미래 사건에는 'when'을 사용하고 'graduate'에는 'from'이 필요합니다. 'many people say it is'로 문장을 정리하고 'has many sculptures'로 바르게 표현해야 합니다.)