公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and use correct verb tenses and articles. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and incorrect phrases like "go on park" or "utilize my deck quality of time."

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played games with my friends and enjoyed the swings, and sometimes I spent quality time there with my family.

建议: Use natural expressions and correct grammar: say "I love going to parks" and fix tense and article errors. Give a clear reason and one specific example of what you do there to relax. Use linking words like "because" or "so."

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because my job as a teacher can be tiring, so I walk there to relax and clear my mind, often sitting on a bench and listening to birds.

建议: Avoid awkward phrases like "watch more parks" and "utilize their quality of time." Give one strong reason and a specific example of benefits. Use linking words such as "because" and "for example." Keep to two to three clear sentences.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide peaceful places for people to relax. For example, families could have picnics and friends could meet to talk and exercise together.

建议: Be specific and correct in describing location and features. Use concise sentences and correct prepositions ("near my village," "about 10 kilometres from my home"). Mention what you will do there in the future with linking words like "because" and "for example."

示例: Yes, I plan to visit a large park about 10 kilometres from my home. I like it because it has many different plants and comfortable seating areas, and I hope to spend an afternoon there walking and taking photos.

× Of course, when I was a child, during that time I prefer to go on park in order to play with my friends and sometimes I also enjoy swings of that park and I also sometimes utilize my deck quality of time with my family members in that park.

✓ Of course. When I was a child, I preferred to go to the park to play with my friends. Sometimes I enjoyed the swings there, and I also spent quality time with my family in that park.

The student mixes past and present tenses. The context 'when I was a child' requires past tense (preferred, enjoyed, spent). Also 'prefer to go on park' is incorrect preposition and article use; use 'go to the park'. 'Utilize my deck quality of time' is unnatural; use 'spent quality time'. Use shorter, clearer clauses to avoid run-on sentence errors.

× Of course, I love to go parks nowadays.

✓ Of course, I love to go to parks nowadays.

Missing preposition and article before plural noun: 'go to parks' is correct. The verb 'love' and 'nowadays' correctly indicate present tense, so only preposition needed.

× This is because I am a teacher and sometimes I am uncomfortable and feel too much tired.

✓ This is because I am a teacher and sometimes I feel uncomfortable and very tired.

The phrase 'feel too much tired' is incorrect; use 'very tired' or 'too tired'. Also 'am uncomfortable and feel' is redundant; use 'feel uncomfortable and very tired' for natural present-tense description.

× That's why in order to get rid from my this health worries, I prefer to go park in order to feel relaxed.

✓ That's why, to get rid of these health worries, I prefer to go to the park to feel relaxed.

Use 'get rid of' not 'get rid from'. 'My this health worries' is incorrect word order and number; use 'these health worries'. Also 'go to the park' requires preposition 'to' and article 'the' for a specific activity.

× Certainly, I love to watch more parks in my city.

✓ Certainly, I would like to see more parks in my city.

The verb 'watch' is wrong for visiting parks; use 'see' or 'visit'. 'Love to watch more parks' is awkward; context asks 'Would you like to see more parks?', so 'would like to see' fits the conditional/polite form.

× This is because in parks everyone can feel relaxed as well as they can also utilize their quality of time with their family members.

✓ This is because in parks everyone can feel relaxed and can also spend quality time with their family members.

Use 'spend quality time' instead of 'utilize their quality of time'. Avoid repeating pronouns unnecessarily; 'everyone... can also spend' is clearer. 'Family members' is fine but can be shortened to 'family'.

× They can sit with their friends and they can also chit chat with their friends.

✓ They can sit with and chat with their friends.

Redundant repetition 'they can also' and 'with their friends' twice. Combine actions into a concise sentence: 'sit with and chat with their friends.' 'Chit chat' is informal; 'chat' is sufficient.

× They can also share with their thick and thin situations.

✓ They can also share their good and bad times.

The phrase 'thick and thin situations' is incorrect and awkward. The idiom is 'through thick and thin' meaning support through difficulties; to express sharing experiences, use 'share their good and bad times' or 'support each other through thick and thin.'

× Yes, there is a big park that is very prominent area near to my village and the distance of this park is near about 10 kilometre only far by home.

✓ Yes, there is a large park in a prominent area near my village, and it is about 10 kilometres from my home.

Incorrect article and preposition use: 'near to my village' should be 'near my village'. 'The distance of this park is near about 10 kilometre only far by home' is ungrammatical; use 'it is about 10 kilometres from my home.' Use plural 'kilometres' with a number.

× I often love to visit this park because there are a number of plants that are a part of my attraction and there are some swings and there are some comfortable places like.

✓ I often like to visit this park because there are many plants that attract me, and there are swings and comfortable places to sit.

'I often love to visit' is awkward; 'I often like to visit' or 'I love visiting' is better. 'A number of plants that are a part of my attraction' is incorrect phrasing; use 'plants that attract me.' Remove trailing incomplete phrase 'like' and replace with 'places to sit.'