公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce redundancy, correct small grammar mistakes, and make the response more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases like “I really, really enjoy it.”

示例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, I used to play hide-and-seek under the trees and feed ducks at the pond, which created lasting memories that still make me happy today.

建议: Make the idea clearer and correct awkward phrasing. Give one or two specific reasons and use linking words (e.g., because, so) to make the response coherent. Avoid vague expressions such as “I can't comprehend that amount of energy.”

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and reduce stress. For instance, walking among trees and listening to birds calms my mind, so I often go there after a busy workday.

建议: Give a direct answer and then provide one clear reason with a specific example. Avoid vague verbs like “comprehend” in this context and reduce repetition. Use linking words such as because or for example to structure your idea.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide spaces for community life. For example, new parks would let me explore different neighborhoods and observe how people socialize, which I find interesting.

建议: Use correct grammar and a clearer structure: state the park name or feature, then give a specific reason why you want to visit it. Avoid casual contractions like “wanna” and phrasing like “see how they look at me.”

示例: In the future, I want to visit Green Park in Kyiv, which is near the metro. I’m especially interested in its large lake and birdlife, and I’d like to observe how local families use the space and how lively the park is.

× Yes, I did like to going to parks as a child.

✓ Yes, I did like going to parks as a child.

Using 'did like' with 'to going' is incorrect because after 'did' the base verb is required; 'to going' mixes infinitive and gerund forms. Remove 'to' so the gerund 'going' follows 'like', or use the simple past 'I liked going'. Suggestion: say 'I liked going to parks as a child' or 'I did like going to parks as a child.'

× there's a lot of childhood memories that connect me to the nature and I really, really enjoy it.

✓ there are a lot of childhood memories that connect me to nature, and I really, really enjoy it.

'Memories' is plural so use 'there are' not 'there's'. Also 'the nature' is incorrect in this context; 'nature' is an uncountable noun and does not require the definite article. Use a comma before 'and' for clarity. Suggestion: 'there are a lot of childhood memories that connect me to nature.'

× I enjoy it as an adult because there's a lot of childhood memories that connect me to the nature and I really, really enjoy it.

✓ I enjoy it as an adult because there are a lot of childhood memories that connect me to nature, and I really, really enjoy it.

Mixed problem: subject-verb agreement already corrected to 'there are'. Present tense 'connect' is correct for general truth. Ensure consistent present tense 'enjoy'. Suggest using same verb forms and remove redundant repetition if desired.

× Yes, I still like going to parks because it's like a feeling of relief when you connect to nature, when you see it, when you feel it, when you like it.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks because it feels like a relief when you connect with nature, when you see it, when you feel it, when you enjoy it.

Use 'it feels like a relief' rather than 'it's like a feeling of relief' for conciseness. Use 'connect with nature' (common collocation) instead of 'connect to nature'. 'Like it' is vague; 'enjoy it' is clearer. Maintain gerund forms appropriately.

× And I really can't comprehend that amount of energy that comes into me because of it.

✓ And I really can't comprehend the amount of energy that comes over me because of it.

Use 'the amount' not 'that amount' for a specific phenomenon; 'comes into me' is awkward — common phrasing is 'comes over me' or 'I feel' the energy. Consider: 'I really can't comprehend the amount of energy I feel because of it.' Replace passive phrasing with active for clarity.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city and also all of them I want to visit and I want to comprehend and I want to enjoy it, like see the people around, how they talk, how they look, how they dress and it really, really cool.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. I want to visit all of them, experience them, and enjoy them: see the people around, how they talk, how they look, and how they dress. It's really, really cool.

Original sentence is a run-on with awkward word order ('all of them I want to visit'). Break into sentences and reorder phrases ('visit all of them'). 'Comprehend' is not the right verb for experiencing a place; use 'experience' or 'explore'. Maintain parallel structure in lists and include a verb for 'it's really cool.'

× In the future I want to visit the biggest Green Park in Kiev that located near metro and wanna see people get along and see how they look at me, also see the birds, see how people and what they talking about right?

✓ In the future I want to visit the biggest Green Park in Kiev that is located near the metro, and I want to see people getting along, see how they look at me, and also see the birds and hear what people are talking about, right?

Missing auxiliary 'is' in the relative clause: use 'that is located'. 'Metro' requires the definite article 'the metro'. Avoid casual 'wanna' in formal speech; use 'want to'. Use gerunds ('getting along') and correct present continuous 'are talking about'. Add commas for clarity and keep consistent verb forms.