公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid repeating 'used to', correct grammar (e.g. 'enjoyable' not 'enjoyful'), and limit to 3–4 sentences. Add one specific example (a game or activity) and one reason for enjoyment. Use linking words like 'also' or 'because' correctly.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My friends and I often met there to play tag and climb trees, which kept us active and gave us lots of fun. I also enjoyed exploring the bushes and pretending we were on little adventures because it felt like a safe, natural playground.

建议: Good direct answer and clear reason (time constraints). To improve, add a brief detail about what you do at parks now and use a linking phrase to connect ideas. Keep it within 2–3 sentences.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Although I’m busy during the week, I make time on weekends to walk my dog and relax on a bench, which helps me unwind after a long week.

建议: Answer directly then give a clear reason with specific detail and correct grammar. Avoid vague phrases like 'development program' without explanation. Use linking words ('because', 'so') and be concise (3–4 sentences). Mention one concrete benefit of more parks.

示例: Yes, I would. My city lacks green spaces, so many children play on busy streets, which is dangerous. Creating more parks would provide safe places for play and improve community health and social life.

建议: Good enthusiasm. Improve by being specific: name one park or describe features you want to see (e.g. large gardens, ponds). Correct collocations ('neighbourhood parks' or 'parks in Paris') and reduce repetition. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'because'.

示例: Yes, I’d love to visit parks in Paris, especially Jardin du Luxembourg, because of its formal gardens and pond. I’ve watched videos of people strolling there and I’m attracted to the peaceful atmosphere and historic sculptures.

× Yes, I used to enjoy going to park a lot.

✓ Yes, I used to enjoy going to the park a lot.

The noun 'park' is countable and singular here, so it requires the definite article 'the' when referring to parks in general from the speaker's experience; using 'the park' is natural in this context. Use 'the' before singular countable nouns when the listener/reader can identify the place or when speaking about a habitual place.'

× My friends used to gather around and we used to play a lot of different activities over there.

✓ My friends used to gather and we used to do a lot of different activities there.

The original sentence uses 'play a lot of different activities', which is unidiomatic: you 'do' activities or 'play' games/sports. Also 'gather around' is unnecessary; 'gather' suffices. 'Over there' can be shortened to 'there' for naturalness. Ensure verbs agree with plural subjects; here 'used to do' correctly matches the habitual past.'

× It kept me healthy as well as made me happy staying in the nature as well.

✓ It kept me healthy and made me happy staying in nature.

Use 'in nature' without the definite article when speaking generally; 'as well as' is wordy and duplicated with 'as well'—use 'and' for simple coordination. Remove the redundant 'as well' at the end. This yields a clearer, grammatically correct sentence.'

× The adventures that we also did in the park was also quite enjoyful.

✓ The adventures we had in the park were also quite enjoyable.

'The adventures' is plural, so use the plural verb 'were' (subject-verb agreement). 'Did' with 'adventures' is awkward; use 'had' or 'experienced'. 'Enjoyful' is not a standard adjective; use 'enjoyable'. Remove the redundant 'also' for conciseness.'

× Yes, I still enjoy going to parks.

✓ Yes, I still enjoy going to parks.

This sentence is correct as written; 'parks' plural requires no article when speaking generally. No change needed.'

× Even though I don't have a lot of time, I still manage to go to parks on the weekends.

✓ Even though I don't have a lot of time, I still manage to go to parks on the weekends.

This sentence is grammatically correct: present simple 'don't have' and 'manage to go' appropriately describe current habits. No correction needed.'

× My city does not have a lot of parks and this is one of the main thing that I want to change in my city.

✓ My city does not have a lot of parks and this is one of the main things that I want to change in my city.

'One of the' must be followed by a plural noun ('things'), not the singular 'thing'. Use 'things' to agree with 'one of the'.

× It is a development program that I want to see being done in my city as it has a lot of kids play on the roads which is pretty much dangerous.

✓ It is a development program that I want to see implemented in my city, as many children play on the roads, which is quite dangerous.

Use 'implemented' or 'carried out' instead of the awkward 'see being done'. 'Kids play' should be 'children play' for formality; 'a lot of kids play' is grammatically okay but 'many children play' is better. Also separate clauses with commas and use 'which is quite dangerous' to modify the clause. Ensure verb forms fit the clause: 'play' remains present simple for a general situation.'

× Yes, there are a lot of parks that I have kept in mind.

✓ Yes, there are a lot of parks that I have in mind.

'Have kept in mind' suggests a completed action; for ongoing intentions use 'have in mind'. Both are understandable, but 'have in mind' is more natural for planning future visits.'

× Some of them are situated in Paris.

✓ Some of them are situated in Paris.

This sentence is correct: no article is needed before 'Paris', and 'situated in' is acceptable. No change needed.'

× I really want to go over there and visit the beautiful neighbor parks, which has a lot of nature in it.

✓ I really want to go there and visit the beautiful nearby parks, which have a lot of natural scenery.

Use 'there' rather than 'over there' for conciseness. 'Neighbor parks' is incorrect; use 'nearby parks'. The relative clause refers to 'parks' (plural), so use 'have' not 'has'. 'A lot of nature in it' is awkward; 'natural scenery' is clearer.'

× I have seen a lot of videos which has made me very much attracted towards such parks.

✓ I have seen a lot of videos which have made me very attracted to such parks.

The relative pronoun 'which' refers to 'videos' (plural), so the verb should be 'have made' not 'has made'. Use 'attracted to' rather than 'attracted towards'. 'Very much attracted' is wordy; 'very attracted' or 'greatly attracted' is more natural.'