公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more grammatically correct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, avoid fillers (uh), correct verb forms, and add one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Limit to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I often played there with my friends and family. For example, we used to have picnics and play tag under the trees, which always made me feel happy and refreshed.

建议: Use present tense correctly and reduce repetition. Begin with a direct topic sentence in present simple, then give one specific reason or example using a linking word (e.g., because, so). Keep it to 2–3 sentences and fix verb forms.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks now because I often meet friends there after work. For example, we usually sit by the pond and chat, which helps me relax and unwind.

建议: Clarify your meaning and avoid unclear phrases. Give one clear reason why more parks are needed, using linking words (because, so) and specific details. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'fresh air') and grammar; avoid contradictory statements.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide fresh air and peaceful places to study. For instance, another park near the university would give students a quiet space to relax between classes.

建议: Be specific about the park and use future intent language correctly. Start with a direct statement of intent, then give one or two specific features you want to see using linking words. Correct verb forms and avoid repetition.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit a famous park in the neighbouring city in the future because it is known for its beautiful scenery and abundant greenery. I plan to go there to walk the trails and take photos of the landscape.

× Yes, I like going to park when I was a child because, uh, with my friends and my family because it make me feel happy and uh, feel refreshed.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park when I was a child because I went with my friends and my family; it made me feel happy and refreshed.

Tense inconsistency and verb forms: The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with past time marker 'when I was a child'. Use past tense 'liked' and 'made'. Also use the definite article 'the' before 'park' and a correct past action verb phrase 'I went with'. Remove filler words and duplicate conjunctions to make the sentence clear.

× I going to park with my friends which are some.

✓ I went to the park with some of my friends.

Incorrect verb form 'I going' and unclear relative clause 'which are some'. Use past simple 'I went' and express 'some of my friends' to be grammatical and clear.

× Yes, I still like going to park now with my friends and colleagues when I was free.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park now with my friends and colleagues when I am free.

Tense mismatch: 'now' requires present tense 'I like' and time clause should be present 'when I am free', not past 'was'. Also include article 'the' before 'park'.

× Uh, I come out and going with going to part with my friend which make me feel happy and refreshed and I often going to park when I was free.

✓ I go out and go to the park with my friend, which makes me feel happy and refreshed, and I often go to the park when I am free.

Use base verb forms for habitual present: 'go out' and 'go to the park'. Replace incorrect 'going' forms and use third-person singular agreement 'makes'. Also change time clause to present 'when I am free'.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in our university because there are many parks and I that have also a refresh air and butter.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks at our university because parks provide fresh air and greenery.

Awkward phrasing and unnecessary words: 'I that have also a refresh air and butter' is unclear. Use 'at our university' and express benefits clearly: 'parks provide fresh air and greenery'. This keeps the conditional/modal 'would like' correct.

× I also want to see more parks because we have only one park where men's and wo women are.

✓ I also want more parks because we only have one park where men and women can go.

Pronoun and noun errors: 'men's and wo women' is incorrect. Use plural nouns 'men and women' and clarify ability with 'can go' or 'are allowed' if referring to separation. Keep 'only have one park' clear.

× Yes, there are many parts that I want to go in the future and that is the park which is which is located in our neighbor city that is a beautiful scenery and lots of greenery that is very famous because it have many.

✓ Yes, there are many parks I want to visit in the future. For example, there is a park located in the neighboring city that has beautiful scenery and lots of greenery; it is very famous.

Multiple structural and grammatical errors: 'parts' should be 'parks'; 'want to go in the future' better as 'want to visit in the future'. Remove repeated phrases 'which is which is'. Use 'neighboring city' and correct verb agreement 'has beautiful scenery' and 'it is very famous'. Break into two sentences for clarity.