公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details. Use linking words (for example, because, so, and) and correct grammar (e.g., "I didn't like going to parks" rather than "I don't like so much to go to the parks"). Avoid repetition and keep to under five sentences.

示例: I didn't like going to parks as a child because I preferred indoor activities. For example, I spent much of my free time reading books and playing video games, so outdoor games never appealed to me.

建议: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence and give a specific reason. Fix grammar ("I don't like going to parks"), remove hesitation, and use a linking phrase such as "because" to connect reason. Keep it to one or two sentences.

示例: I still don't go to parks much because my schedule is very busy. As a result, I prefer to use my free time at home for reading and games.

建议: This answer is relevant and shows opinion. Improve coherence and grammar: begin with a clear topic sentence, then explain reasons using linking words (for example, because, so, therefore). Be specific about benefits of parks and avoid incomplete sentences.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because many trees have been cut down and pollution has increased. Therefore, parks would help improve air quality and provide green spaces for people to relax.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and a concise explanation with correct grammar and linking words. Replace awkward phrasing ("not that kind of people which fond of") with "not the kind of person who enjoys". One or two specific reasons are enough.

示例: Not really — I'm not the kind of person who enjoys visiting green spaces. I prefer staying at home to read and play video games, so I don't plan to visit parks often in the future.

× To be honest, I don't like so much to go to the parks because I like indoor games, like video games, and I like to read books.

✓ To be honest, I don't like going to the parks very much because I like indoor games, like video games, and I like to read books.

The phrase 'so much' is placed awkwardly and the verb form 'to go' is unnatural here. Use the gerund 'going' after 'like' and place the adverbial phrase 'very much' after the verb phrase: 'don't like going... very much'. This improves word order and collocation.

× I don't like outdoor games many more.

✓ I don't like outdoor games anymore.

'Many more' is incorrect; the intended adverb is 'anymore' to indicate no longer. Use 'anymore' at the end of the clause: 'I don't like outdoor games anymore.'

× To be honest too, I don't like go to the parks because of my because of my busy schedule.

✓ To be honest, I don't like going to the parks because of my busy schedule.

After 'like' we use the gerund form 'going', not the base form 'go'. Also the phrase 'because of my' was repeated; remove the duplication.

× And that park?

✓ What about that park?

The fragment 'And that park?' is informal and unclear. 'What about that park?' is a complete question that fits the examiner's prompt.

× Yes sure I want more parks in our city.

✓ Yes, sure. I want more parks in our city.

Add appropriate punctuation and a comma after 'Yes'. The sentence needed clearer separation; grammar is otherwise fine.

× Because of deforestation many plants are gone through in my city and pollution is increased.

✓ Because of deforestation many plants have disappeared in my city and pollution has increased.

'Gone through' is incorrect here; use 'have disappeared' or 'have been lost'. Also use present perfect 'have disappeared' to show a change up to now, and 'pollution has increased' rather than passive 'is increased'.

× So parks should be in every society or every.

✓ So parks should be in every neighborhood and community.

The original ends abruptly with 'or every.' Replace with specific nouns 'neighborhood and community' to complete the thought and improve sentence structure.

× Actually, no, because I'm not that kind of people which fond of visit green spaces or other outdoor places.

✓ Actually, no, because I'm not the kind of person who is fond of visiting green spaces or other outdoor places.

Use singular 'person' with 'the kind of', not plural 'people'. Use relative pronoun 'who' for people, include 'is' before 'fond', and use the gerund 'visiting' after 'fond of'.

× I prefer to live in my home and spend time, read books and play indoor games.

✓ I prefer to stay at home and spend time reading books and playing indoor games.

Use 'stay at home' rather than 'live in my home' for the intended meaning. After 'spend time' use the gerund 'reading' and 'playing' to list activities; this gives parallel structure.

× That's why I don't want to go to parks.

✓ That's why I don't want to go to parks.

No correction needed for agreement; sentence is grammatical. (Included to indicate checked sentence.)