公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문법과 문장 구조를 바로잡고, 명확한 주제 문장(topic sentence)을 먼저 말한 뒤 구체적 세부사항(언제, 누구와 갔는지, 무엇을 좋아했는지)을 연결어(For example, Also, Because 등)를 사용해 덧붙이세요. 현재 문장은 시제와 어순, 단어 선택 오류가 많아 이해하기 어렵습니다. 예를 들어 'When I was a child'로 시제를 고치고 'I used to go to a small park near my house with my family'처럼 구체적으로 말하세요.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child. For example, I used to visit a small park near my house with my family every weekend, where I enjoyed playing on the swings and running around. Because the park was quiet and green, I always felt happy and relaxed there.

建议: 간단하고 직접적으로 답한 뒤 이유를 명확히 제시하세요. 중복 표현(‘because’ 반복)과 부정확한 어휘('this day')를 피하고, 링크 표현(However, Nowadays 등)을 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 이어가세요. 예를 들어 'Not really. I don't have much free time these days because I'm preparing my college portfolio'처럼 말하세요.

示例: Not really. These days I don't have much free time because I'm busy preparing my college portfolio, so I rarely visit parks. However, I try to go occasionally when I have a break to relax.

建议: 의도는 좋지만 반복되는 말버릇('like', 'very')과 어색한 표현을 줄이세요. 구체적으로 왜 더 많은 공원이 필요한지(예: 녹지 공간, 휴식, 운동 장소) 설명하고 연결어(For example, Also)를 사용하세요. 예: 'Yes. I would like more parks because they provide places to relax and meet friends'처럼 간결하게 말하세요.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. For example, more green spaces would give people places to exercise, meet friends, and relax, which is especially important in a busy urban area.

建议: 명확한 주제문으로 시작하고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 'Not really'만으로 끝내지 말고 대체 표현(Perhaps I might visit...)이나 예외 상황(If a new park opens...)을 덧붙이면 좋습니다. 어색한 단어('massively interested', 'smart park')를 표준 표현으로 바꾸고 문장을 2~3개로 구성하세요.

示例: Not really. I'm not very interested in visiting parks at the moment because I prefer studying and preparing for college. However, if a new park with interesting facilities or events opened nearby, I might visit it in the future.

× Yes, of course, because when I was a childhood I really like went to a small park.

✓ Yes, of course, because when I was a child I really liked going to a small park.

Use 'child' not 'childhood' for a person; tense and verb form: 'liked' past tense to match 'when I was a child'; 'going' gerund after 'liked' instead of 'went'. Suggestion: say 'when I was a child' and use 'liked going' to describe past habit.

× I think it's very depend on my condition, but am I feeling very good?

✓ I think it very much depends on my condition, but I felt very good.

'depend' needs adverb 'very much' and subject-verb agreement 'depends'. 'Am I feeling' is an incorrect question form here; speaker likely meant past feeling so use 'I felt very good'. Suggestion: use 'it depends on' and match tense to context.

× I want I went to the allergic park in the city of Seoul.

✓ I wanted to go to a large park in the city of Seoul.

Original is ungrammatical: 'I want I went' mixes tenses and 'allergic' is wrong word choice. Likely intended 'large' or 'nice'. Use past intention 'I wanted to go' or present 'I want to go'. Suggestion: choose correct adjective and keep consistent tense.

× Not really because I don't have enough time this day because I work on My Portfolio for my future, my college.

✓ Not really, because I don't have enough time these days; I am working on my portfolio for college.

Use 'these days' for current ongoing time, not 'this day'. 'Work on' ongoing action should be present continuous 'am working'. 'Portfolio' not capitalized. Keep consistent present tense. Suggestion: use 'these days' and present continuous for ongoing activities.

× So I cannot go any enough time going to the park now.

✓ So I cannot find enough time to go to the park now.

Incorrect word order and 'any enough time' is wrong. Use 'find enough time to' + base verb. Suggestion: use 'find enough time to go'.

× Yes, because I really like like, you know, I tend to miss some friend, uh, and like like very, very, very luxury park in my city.

✓ Yes, because I really like parks, you know; I tend to miss some friends, and I would like a very, very luxurious park in my city.

Repeated 'like' is filler; 'miss some friend' needs plural 'friends'. 'Luxury' is a noun; use adjective 'luxurious'. Also clarify desire with 'would like'. Suggestion: avoid filler repetition, use plural where needed, and correct adjective form.

× I very feeling very, very good.

✓ I feel very, very good.

'I very feeling' is ungrammatical. Use 'I feel' for current state; 'very' modifies adjective 'good'. Suggestion: use 'I feel very good'.

× Not really, because I'm not very massively interested in uh, like uh, park.

✓ Not really, because I'm not very interested in parks.

'Massively interested' is odd; use 'very interested'. 'Park' should be plural when speaking generally: 'parks'. Suggestion: use 'very interested in parks'.

× So I very, uh, very enough my smart, uh, park in my city these days.

✓ So I'm quite satisfied with the parks in my city these days.

Original is ungrammatical and unclear: 'very enough my smart park' makes no sense. Likely meaning is satisfaction with existing parks; use 'quite satisfied'. Suggestion: express sentiment clearly with 'satisfied with the parks'.

× So I'm not interested in the park.

✓ So I'm not interested in parks.

When speaking generally, use plural 'parks' rather than 'the park'. Suggestion: use 'parks' for general statements.