公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid unclear phrases like “they said.” Use correct verb forms and articles.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often rode my bike there with my friends and we played games on the grass, which made those afternoons very memorable.

建议: Give a clearer, natural explanation and correct sentence structure. State your position, then explain why using linking words (because, so, therefore). Avoid fragmented sentences and unclear phrases like “build a fresh air.”

示例: Not really, because I work long hours and have little free time. When I do have a break, I prefer short walks near my home to get fresh air and relax.

建议: Clarify your ideas and use relevant vocabulary. Begin with a direct answer, then give specific reasons and examples. Replace unclear words (e.g. “graying”, “briefings”, “Howards”, “photography”) with appropriate terms like ‘green’, ‘benefits’, and ‘visuals’. Use linking words for coherence.

示例: Yes, I would. More green parks would improve air quality and give residents places to exercise. For example, families could picnic and children could play, which helps both physical health and mental wellbeing.

建议: Be specific and concise. State the park you want to visit, then explain why with one or two clear reasons. Avoid vague references to TV shows or unclear phrases like “when I was at Bakers.”

示例: Yes, I would love to visit Central Park in New York because I have seen it in many films and TV shows. I want to walk its paths, see the lakes, and experience its famous landmarks in person.

× Yes, I did like to go to the park with my friends riding the bike, they said.

✓ Yes, I did like going to the park with my friends to ride bikes.

Use of 'did like to go' is acceptable but 'going' is more natural for past habitual activities; 'riding the bike' is incorrect: use gerund phrase 'to ride bikes' or 'riding bikes'. Also remove extraneous 'they said' which is unclear. Suggestion: use 'I liked going to the park with my friends to ride bikes.' Grammar problem type ID: 8

× I would say no. I'm I'm working now and I. Build a fresh air and relax.

✓ I would say no. I'm working now and I go out to get fresh air and relax.

Fragment and incorrect verb form: 'I. Build a fresh air' is ungrammatical. To express a current habitual action use present continuous for current work and simple present for habitual actions: 'I go out to get fresh air and relax.' Also remove repeated 'I'm'. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× Of course, just a part park is graying with fresh air with these briefings.

✓ Of course. Some parks are filled with fresh air and greenery in these areas.

Original uses incorrect words: 'part park', 'graying with fresh air', 'briefings' are wrong choices. Use appropriate adjectives/nouns: 'some parks' (plural) and 'filled with fresh air and greenery' or 'have fresh air and green spaces'. Also split into two sentences for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 13

× It's better for Howards, uh, not only physically but mentally by seeing their photography.

✓ It's better for people, not only physically but also mentally, to see natural scenery.

'Howards' and 'their photography' are incorrect references here. Use a general noun 'people' and a clearer object 'natural scenery' or 'green spaces'. Also include 'also' with 'not only... but also' for parallel structure. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× Yeah, I would say the Central Park in New York, I really stayed on the TV show all the time.

✓ Yeah, I would say Central Park in New York; I saw it on TV a lot.

'Stayed on the TV show' is incorrect. Use 'saw it on TV a lot' or 'I've seen it on TV many times' to indicate repeated viewing. Also remove unnecessary article before 'Central Park' and fix tense/aspect. Grammar problem type ID: 6

× So I guess when I was at Bakers, the parks in the cities of the world, and it's famous, so I want to go there.

✓ So I guess, after seeing parks in cities around the world, and because it is famous, I want to go there.

Sentence is fragmented and has unclear references ('at Bakers', 'the parks in the cities of the world'). Clarify sequence and cause: 'after seeing parks in cities around the world' or 'having seen many famous city parks, I want to visit Central Park because it is famous.' Ensure logical connectors and correct verb forms. Grammar problem type ID: 26