公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Cần cải thiện tính tự nhiên, ngữ pháp và độ rõ ràng. Tránh lặp từ và sửa lỗi thì (ví dụ: 'I go' -> 'I went'), số ít/ số nhiều (movies không phù hợp với ngữ cảnh) và câu quá dài. Thêm một câu chủ đề rõ ràng, sau đó dùng 1–2 câu chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ hoạt động bạn làm, cảm xúc). Dùng từ liên kết đơn giản như 'and' hoặc 'because' để mạch lạc.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often spent whole weekends there with my parents, playing games and having picnics. I remember feeling very happy because I could run around and meet my friends.

建议: Câu trả lời ngắn gọn và trực tiếp nhưng cần sửa ngữ pháp thì (ví dụ 'as I grow older' -> 'as I have grown older') và có thể bổ sung một lý do cụ thể hoặc tần suất để làm phong phú câu trả lời. Dùng liên từ như 'however' hoặc 'because' để kết nối ý rõ ràng hơn.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy visiting parks. However, as I have grown older I have less free time because of work and studies, so I only go there once or twice a month.

建议: Cần sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ 'parks brings' -> 'parks bring' hoặc 'a better, I mean better air' -> 'better air') và tránh lặp từ. Nên mở rộng bằng 1–2 chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: lợi ích cho sức khỏe, không gian cho trẻ em, giảm ô nhiễm) và dùng liên từ như 'because' để kết nối lý do.

示例: Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because they improve air quality and provide green spaces for exercise and relaxation. For example, more parks would give children safe places to play and help reduce pollution.

建议: Cần cấu trúc rõ ràng: bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề nêu tên công viên bạn muốn đến, sau đó giải thích lý do và một trở ngại thực tế (ví dụ chi phí hoặc khoảng cách). Sửa ngữ pháp và trật tự từ (ví dụ 'They raised a park' không chính xác). Tránh lặp từ như 'to go to go'.

示例: One park I would love to visit in the future is Disneyland because I have always been fascinated by its rides and shows since childhood. However, Disneyland is not in Vietnam and visiting it would be very expensive, so I might save money or plan a special trip abroad.

× Usually I go to I went to the park all weekend with my mom and my dad.

✓ Usually I went to the park all weekend with my mom and my dad.

The sentence mixes present tense 'go' with past tense 'went'. The context is past (when I was a child), so use past tense 'went'. Suggestion: maintain past tense consistently when describing past habits: 'I usually went to the park.'

× It was really fun and enjoyable when I play games and watching 40 movies in the park.

✓ It was really fun and enjoyable when I played games and watched movies in the park.

The sentence has mixed verb forms: present 'play' and gerund 'watching' in a past context. Also '40 movies' is unlikely and possibly incorrect; removed number to be natural. Use past simple 'played' and 'watched' to match past narrative. Suggestion: use parallel past verbs: 'played and watched'.

× Yes, I still love to go to the park, but as I grow older I don't have time to go to the park more often.

✓ Yes, I still love going to the park, but as I have grown older I haven't had time to go to the park as often.

The original mixes present simple 'grow' with a general statement about change; use present perfect 'have grown' and present perfect 'haven't had' to express change over time up to now. Also prefer 'love going' or 'love to go'. Suggestion: use perfect tense for changes over time.

× Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because parks brings up a better, I mean it brings us better, better air.

✓ Yes, I would love to see more parks in my city because parks bring better air.

Subject 'parks' is plural, so verb must be 'bring' not 'brings'. The phrase 'brings up' is awkward here; use 'bring' and remove redundant words. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural subject and use concise phrasing: 'parks bring better air.'

× They raised a park I always want to go to when I was a kid or even when I'm when I am older and the name of the park was Disneyland.

✓ There was a park I always wanted to go to when I was a kid and still want to go to when I am older; the name of the park is Disneyland.

The sentence has several issues: 'They raised a park' is incorrect for meaning; use 'There was' or 'There is' to introduce existence. Tense consistency: 'always wanted' (past) and 'still want' (present) are clearer. Also use 'is Disneyland' for the park's name. Suggestion: restructure into clearer clauses and keep tenses consistent.

× However, Disneyland is not available in Vietnam so it's pretty expensive to go to go out.

✓ However, Disneyland is not in Vietnam, so it's pretty expensive to go there.

'Available' is not appropriate for a place; use 'is not in Vietnam'. Also remove duplicate 'go' and replace 'go out' with 'go there' to refer to Disneyland. Suggestion: use correct locative phrasing and avoid repeated words.