公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct basic grammar (past tense: liked) and common words (park, play). Avoid repetition.

示例: Yes, I liked going to parks as a child. I often played games with my friends there and we also went for walks and simple exercises, which made the park a very happy place for me.

建议: Give a direct topic sentence and then specific current activities with clearer sentences and linking words (for example, because, and, also). Use correct tense and avoid confusing phrases. Mention one or two named parks or routines to be specific.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often visit East Park to walk, chat with my family, and sometimes play sports with friends, because these activities help me relax and stay active.

建议: Answer directly then give a clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words (for instance, because) and correct phrasing for location and park names. Avoid unclear or repeated words.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and socialising. For instance, near my home in the northeast of Anna Mahalo there are parks like Nisargadama and Radiant Park, which I visit every morning for a walk.

建议: Give a clear topic sentence and add specific reasons or plans. Use correct expressions for travelling abroad and avoid repeating 'abroad'. Mention when or how you might go to make it more concrete.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Jurassic Park abroad; it's my dream destination because I'm fascinated by the theme and scenery. I hope to save money and travel there within the next few years.

× Yes, I like the pack more as much as I play with there with my friends and I go for a walk and I go for exercise and it's the lovely place ever seen.

✓ Yes, I liked parks a lot when I was a child because I played there with my friends, went for walks, exercised, and it was the loveliest place I had ever seen.

Multiple errors: 'pack' should be 'park' (wrong word), tense mismatch (student talks about childhood so use past tense 'liked', 'played', 'went'), incorrect word order 'play with there' corrected to 'played there', article and superlative form: 'the lovely place ever seen' corrected to 'the loveliest place I had ever seen' to show past perfect for something seen before another past time. Suggestions: use past tense consistently when referring to childhood, correct noun spelling, and use proper adjective forms and word order.

× Yes, sure. The park is the loveliest place I've ever seen and I like to go to park because I play with my friends and I go for walk and I talk with my family and it's very exciting.

✓ Yes, sure. The park is the loveliest place I've ever seen, and I like to go to the park because I play with my friends, go for walks, and talk with my family; it's very exciting.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'park' and 'go for walk' should be 'go for walks' or 'go for a walk' (article/number agreement). Maintain present tense for current habits. Also punctuation improved for clarity. Suggestions: include articles before singular nouns ('the park'), use plural or 'a' with 'walk', and list activities consistently.

× The East Park, I love the park even it's now, not even it's now and even the age passes down.

✓ I love East Park even now, despite getting older.

Awkward structure and incorrect phrasing 'even it's now, not even it's now and even the age passes down.' This should be simplified: 'even now' expresses continuity, and 'despite getting older' correctly conveys aging. Suggestions: use concise clauses to express continuity and contrast ('even now' and 'despite...').

× I like the back more.

✓ I like the park more.

Typo 'back' should be 'park'. Also ensure article use if needed: 'the park' is correct here. Suggestion: check spelling and context.

× Yeah, sure. I'm I'm in the I'm living in the northeast of Anna Mahalo and the parks are surrounded by me money or two or more.

✓ Yes. I'm living in the northeast of Anna Mahalo, and there are two or more parks near me.

Several issues: repetition and broken phrasing ('I'm I'm in the I'm living'), incorrect preposition and word order ('surrounded by me money or two or more' is meaningless). Use 'near me' or 'around me' and express quantity correctly: 'two or more parks'. Suggestions: remove repetitions, use 'there are' to introduce existence, and place the location phrase correctly.

× The park's name are Nisargadama, or the Radiant Park.

✓ The parks' names are Nisargadama and Radiant Park.

Subject-verb agreement and punctuation: 'The park's name are' should be 'The parks' names are' because you list multiple parks (plural possessive) and use 'are' correctly. Also 'or' replaced with 'and' to list names. Suggestion: match plural possessive and verb, and list items with 'and'.

× I like going to park every day at the morning walk and extra, extra.

✓ I like going to the park every morning for a walk and sometimes more activities.

Missing definite article 'the' before 'park' and wrong preposition 'at the morning'; use 'every morning' or 'in the morning'. 'Extra, extra' is unclear; clarified as 'sometimes more activities.' Suggestions: use correct articles and common time expressions ('every morning'), and replace unclear words with precise phrases.

× Yeah, I want to go to the Jurassic Park that's in the abroad. That's my dream to go to abroad and I'll try for sure.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Jurassic Park abroad. It's my dream to travel abroad, and I'll definitely try to make it happen.

Incorrect use of 'the abroad' and awkward phrase 'go to abroad.' Use 'abroad' without 'the' and use 'travel abroad' or 'go abroad'. Also simplify 'the Jurassic Park that's in the abroad' to 'Jurassic Park abroad.' 'I'll try for sure' refined to 'I'll definitely try to make it happen.' Suggestions: use 'abroad' correctly, omit unnecessary articles, and use natural collocations like 'travel abroad' and 'definitely.'