公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your response more natural and informative by giving a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Avoid using 'preferred' alone without context; say why you liked parks and add one example. Keep it under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were a safe place to play and explore. For example, I enjoyed climbing the trees and playing hide-and-seek with my friends every weekend.

建议: Correct grammar and make the sentence concise. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give a brief reason with specific detail. Replace incorrect phrases like 'provide me a rest' with 'give me a rest' or 'help me relax.' Use linking words if you add details.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax and unwind. For instance, I often sit on a bench and read or take a short walk to clear my mind after work.

建议: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Give a clear reason and a specific example. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example' properly. Correct phrases like 'work a dog' to 'walk their dog.' Keep it concise and natural.

示例: Yes, definitely — I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide space for exercise and socializing. For example, people could walk their dogs, jog, or meet friends for small gatherings.

建议: Clarify which park you mean and correct grammar. Start with a direct statement naming the park, then give one or two clear reasons or context. Avoid vague or incorrect phrases like 'I've been imposed several years' or 'It's quite a huge when I went to the UWA.' Keep it under five sentences.

示例: I'd like to visit Kings Park in Perth in the future because I've heard it's very large and beautiful. I regret not going when I studied at UWA, so next time I hope to walk the trails and see the views over the city.

× I still like going to parks now because I think I can provide me a rest and a very relaxed environment.

✓ I still like going to parks now because I think they can provide me with rest and a very relaxed environment.

Incorrect use of pronoun/reference and preposition plus plural agreement: 'I think I can provide me a rest' is wrong because the speaker (I) cannot provide themselves rest in this context; parks are the subject that provide rest. Replace 'I' with 'they' (referring to parks) and use the correct preposition 'provide ... with' or 'provide someone rest' and remove the article 'a' before 'rest'. Use plural 'they' to agree with 'parks'. Suggestion: think about the subject that performs the action and choose correct pronoun and preposition.

× I, I would, I would like to say more parks in my cities.

✓ I would like to have more parks in my city.

Error in quantifier and noun number: 'say' is incorrect verb here; likely intended 'have' or 'see'. 'My cities' should be singular 'my city' unless the speaker has multiple cities; usually 'my city' is correct. Remove stammering 'I, I would' in the corrected sentence. Suggestion: choose the verb that matches meaning ('have more parks') and use the correct singular/plural noun.

× It can help people to work around and do, for example, work a dog and just do some exercise every day.

✓ They can help people walk around and, for example, walk their dogs and do some exercise every day.

Multiple issues: verb choice and prepositions. 'Work around' is incorrect; intended 'walk around'. 'Work a dog' is incorrect; should be 'walk a dog' or 'walk their dogs'. 'It' should be 'they' to refer to parks (plural). Reorder for natural English: 'walk around' and 'walk their dogs'. Suggestion: use correct collocations (walk around, walk a dog) and keep pronoun agreement with plural subject.

× So it's useful.

✓ So they're useful.

Subject-pronoun agreement: 'it's' refers to a singular noun; the speaker is referring to parks (plural), so use 'they're' or 'they are'. Suggestion: ensure pronoun matches plurality of the noun it replaces.

× I would say the Kings Parks in Paris, I'm a little bit shamed that because I've been imposed several years, but I haven't been to Kings Park.

✓ I would say the Kings Park in Paris. I'm a little bit ashamed because I've lived here for several years, but I haven't been to Kings Park.

Multiple errors: 'shamed' should be adjective 'ashamed'. 'I've been imposed several years' is incorrect; likely intended 'I've lived here for several years' or 'I've been here for several years'. Use present perfect 'I've lived' to show experience up to now. Keep 'haven't been to Kings Park' as present perfect negative, which is correct. Suggestion: use 'ashamed' for feeling, and choose the correct verb for residence ('live' or 'be') with appropriate tense.

× It's quite a huge when I went to the UWA. So I yeah, I want to go to in the future.

✓ It was quite big when I went to UWA, so yes, I want to go there in the future.

Awkward and ungrammatical structure: 'quite a huge' lacks a noun (huge what?) and tense mismatch. Use 'quite big' or 'very huge' is informal; better 'quite large' or 'very large'. 'When I went to the UWA' sets past context, so 'it was' fits. 'I want to go to in the future' missing object — use 'there'. Remove filler 'I yeah'. Suggestion: include a noun after 'huge' or use adjective 'big/large', match tenses, and include proper place pronoun 'there'.