公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your answer more fluent, correct grammar and avoid repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words. Correct vocabulary (e.g., 'kites' instead of unclear phrases) and verb tenses (past simple for childhood).

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child, especially at weekends. For example, I used to go with my parents and we would fly kites called 'layangan' in Indonesia, which were long and colourful. We spent hours running and watching the kites soar, and those memories are very vivid.

建议: Make sentences grammatically correct and concise. Use linking words to connect ideas and more precise vocabulary (e.g., 'free time', 'fresh air', 'go jogging'). Keep answers within 2–3 sentences and use present simple/habitual forms.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially when I have free time during college. I usually go for a short walk or to jog in the morning to get some fresh air and relax before classes.

建议: Organise your response: give a clear opinion then explain with specific reasons. Correct nouns and adjectives (e.g., 'crowded', 'hawkers' or 'street vendors'), and avoid short fragments. Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

示例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city, especially in Yogyakarta. For example, each district already has an 'alun-alun' which is popular but often overcrowded and full of street vendors, so creating more parks would reduce crowding and provide quieter spaces for families.

建议: Be specific about which parks and why you want to visit them. Use correct articles and plurals (e.g., 'several parks', 'in Singapore'), and appropriate verbs ('lying', 'having a picnic'). Use linking words like 'for example' and keep it to 2–3 clear sentences.

示例: Yes, I want to visit several parks in Singapore, such as Gardens by the Bay. For example, the parks there are very large, clean and peaceful, so people often relax, have picnics and read books in the green spaces.

× Yes I did when I was a child, especially on the weekend.

✓ Yes, I did when I was a child, especially on the weekends.

The phrase 'on the weekend' is acceptable in some dialects, but in general plural 'on the weekends' is used to indicate habitual action in childhood. Add a comma after 'Yes' for clarity.

× I go to to the parks with my parents and play some Indian show.

✓ I went to the parks with my parents and watched some Indian shows.

The context is describing childhood (past), so verbs should be in past tense. 'Go' should be 'went' and 'play' should be 'watched' or 'saw'. Also 'show' should be plural 'shows' and duplicate 'to' removed.

× We called Layangan the the long Pepper and we we throw in the air.

✓ We called it 'layangan', which are long kites, and we threw them into the air.

Multiple issues: missing pronoun 'it' for naming, duplicate words, incorrect noun 'Pepper' likely meant 'kites', and verb tense should be past 'threw'. Use plural 'kites' and plural pronoun 'them' to match. Also use 'into the air' for motion.

× Yes I do, uh, especially when I have a free time in my college day.

✓ Yes, I do, especially when I have free time during my college days.

'A free time' is incorrect; 'free time' is uncountable and needs no article. 'In my college day' should be 'during my college days' to indicate periods of time. Added commas for clarity.

× Uh, I go to the parks for a simple walk and looking for some facing air and do the jogging in the morning.

✓ I go to the parks for a simple walk, to get some fresh air, and to do jogging in the morning.

Parallel structure requires using infinitives or gerunds consistently. 'Looking for some facing air' is incorrect; use 'to get some fresh air'. 'Do the jogging' should be 'to jog' or 'to go jogging'. Also 'fresh' not 'facing'.

× In every district they have, they must have a park.

✓ In every district, they should have a park.

'Must have' implies obligation; 'should have' is more appropriate for expressing expectation or recommendation. Also simplify subject placement: 'In every district, there should be a park.' could be used.

× It's called an Alun Alun, especially Alun Alun Yogyakarta.

✓ It's called an Alun Alun, especially Alun Alun Yogyakarta.

This sentence is acceptable, but 'an Alun Alun' is a calque; better to say 'It's called an Alun Alun, especially the Alun Alun in Yogyakarta.' for clarity and correct article use before the specific place.

× It's so crowd and a lot of people sell their hawkers to.

✓ It's so crowded, and there are a lot of hawkers selling goods.

'Crowd' should be the adjective 'crowded'. The structure 'a lot of people sell their hawkers to' is incorrect; likely meant 'there are a lot of hawkers' or 'many people sell goods'. Rephrase to 'there are a lot of hawkers selling goods.'

× Yes, there's a several parks that I want to visit especially on the Singapore.

✓ Yes, there are several parks that I want to visit, especially in Singapore.

Use 'there are' with plural 'several parks' not 'there's'. 'On the Singapore' is incorrect preposition and article; use 'in Singapore'. Added comma for clarity.

× They have a large park and so clean.

✓ They have large parks that are very clean.

Maintain plural agreement with 'parks' and use 'very clean' for natural adverbial modification. 'So clean' is informal; 'very clean' is more appropriate.

× The area is so fresh and a lot of people just laying and trying picnic and read some books.

✓ The area is very fresh, and many people just lie down, have picnics, and read books.

'Laying' is incorrect for people; use 'lie down'. 'Trying picnic' is incorrect; use 'having picnics' or 'having a picnic'. Use parallel verbs: 'lie down, have picnics, and read books.' Replace 'a lot of people' with 'many people' for better style.