公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make tense consistent (past tense), correct word choice (“crash” → likely “grass” or “park”), and fix grammar (subject-verb agreement). Keep it concise: a clear topic sentence then one or two specific supporting details. Use a linking word to connect reason.

示例: Yes, I did. When I was a child I often went to the park with my neighbors, and we spent hours playing traditional games on the grass. As a result, I had a lot of fun and made close friends there.

建议: Maintain grammatical consistency and parallel structure. Use present simple consistently and correct the mixed tenses (“It's not only helped” → “It not only helps”). Add a linking word and a brief specific example of an activity to enrich the answer.

示例: Yes, I do. I often go to parks on weekends; it not only helps me improve my physical health through jogging but also helps me relax and reduce stress after a long week.

建议: Finish the final clause and be specific about benefits. Avoid vague phrases like “does wonders for.” Offer one or two concrete benefits and use linking words to show cause and effect.

示例: Of course. I would love more green spaces in my city because they encourage people to spend time outdoors, which improves physical fitness and mental well‑being.

建议: Use correct conditional and verb forms: for future desire use “If I have a chance” or “I’d love to visit”. Correct noun/verb agreement and possessive (photos, experience it in person). Add one specific reason why you want to visit to strengthen the response.

示例: Yes. If I have the chance, I'd love to visit the Botanic Gardens in Singapore because I have seen many photos of its tropical plants and would like to experience the themed gardens and calm atmosphere in person.

× When I was a kid I often went to the park with my neighbors and we spent hours playing traditional games on the crash.

✓ When I was a kid, I often went to the park with my neighbors and we spent hours playing traditional games on the grass.

The word 'crash' is incorrect in context; the correct word is 'grass'. This is a vocabulary choice error rather than tense, but it occurred in a past-tense sentence which is otherwise correct. Also add a comma after the introductory clause for punctuation. Suggestion: use 'grass' for the ground cover in parks and include a comma after 'When I was a kid'.

× I loved these experiences because we had so much fun together and make close friends there.

✓ I loved these experiences because we had so much fun together and made close friends there.

The sentence mixes past tense ('loved', 'had') with the present tense verb 'make'. To maintain consistent past narration, 'made' (simple past) should be used. Suggestion: keep verbs in the same tense when describing past events.

× Yes I do. I often go to parks on weekends. It's not only helped me improve my physical health but also helps me relax and reduce stress after a long week.

✓ Yes I do. I often go to parks on weekends. It has not only helped me improve my physical health but also helped me relax and reduce stress after a long week.

The original mixes present perfect 'has helped' incorrectly with 'It's' and present 'helps'. Use 'It has not only helped... but also helped...' to keep a parallel structure and correct present perfect usage. Suggestion: use 'It has not only helped... but also helped...' or change both to simple present if describing habitual effects.

× Of course, I'd love to see more green spaces in my city because these places allow people to spend more time outdoors, which does wonders for.

✓ Of course, I'd love to see more green spaces in my city because these places allow people to spend more time outdoors, which does wonders for people's wellbeing.

The clause 'which does wonders for' is incomplete because it lacks an object. Add the object (for example 'people's wellbeing' or 'their health') to complete the idea. Suggestion: always ensure relative clauses have a clear object ('does wonders for people's health').

× Well in the future if I had a chance I'd love to go to Botanic Garden in Singapore.

✓ Well, in the future if I have a chance I'd love to go to the Botanic Gardens in Singapore.

The conditional 'if I had a chance' is a second conditional suggesting an unlikely present situation; here the speaker likely means a real future possibility, so use 'if I have a chance'. Also the place name is commonly 'Botanic Gardens' and include the definite article 'the'. Suggestion: use first conditional for realistic future plans: 'if I have a chance'.

× I see a lot of photo online and want to experience it's in person.

✓ I have seen a lot of photos online and want to experience it in person.

Multiple errors: 'see' (present) should be 'have seen' to match recent experience context; 'photo' should be plural 'photos'; 'it's' (it is or it has) is incorrect for the possessive/objec­t; use 'it' to refer to the garden. Suggestion: use 'I have seen a lot of photos online' and 'experience it in person'.