公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Your answer is clear and relevant but a bit wordy and contains repetition (e.g., “in a park”/“a park”). To improve, start with a concise topic sentence, avoid repeating phrases, and add one specific detail or memory to make it more vivid. Keep it within three to four sentences and use a linking word to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. After school I often headed straight to the nearby park to play with friends or walk under the trees. I especially remember climbing the old oak tree near the swings, which felt like a small adventure every day.

建议: Good, natural answer that explains current circumstances and expresses continued interest. To improve, make the time constraint more precise, reduce redundancy ("like I used to do" repeated idea), and add a brief example of what you do when you go to parks now, using a linking word such as "but" or "so".

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, but I’m very busy working six or seven days a week. When I do find time, I usually go for a short walk or read a book on a bench to relax and clear my mind.

建议: Strong answer with clear reasons. To improve further, use more specific details (e.g., how many families, examples of facilities needed) and link reasons with connectors like "and" or "because" for stronger coherence. Keep sentences concise and avoid vague phrases like "a lot" when possible.

示例: Definitely. Because many families and children live nearby, more small parks with playgrounds would make it easier for kids to play safely. Also, having local picnic areas with benches and shade would stop families from traveling long distances for a simple outing.

建议: Your answer states a clear preference and gives a reason, which is good. Improve by correcting small phrasing issues ("National Park in the Sydney Central business district" is awkward — name the park or say "a national park near Sydney CBD"), and add a specific activity you’d like to do there. Use a linking phrase like "because" to connect reason and preference.

示例: I hope to visit the national park near Sydney’s CBD soon because my friend said it’s very quiet and peaceful. I’d like to go there for a long walk and some birdwatching to enjoy that calm atmosphere.

× Since my childhood, I really enjoyed going to parks every day.

✓ Since my childhood, I have really enjoyed going to parks every day.

The sentence uses 'Since my childhood' which requires the present perfect to link past time to the present. 'Really enjoyed' (simple past) incorrectly severs that connection. Use 'have enjoyed' to show a continuing preference from childhood until now.

× Whenever I came back home from school in the evening, I would just throw away all my books and go to a park because I always love to have a walk in a park.

✓ Whenever I came back home from school in the evening, I would just throw away all my books and go to a park because I always loved taking a walk in the park.

There are multiple issues: 'always love to have a walk' is unnatural; 'love' mismatches past habitual context 'came back... would'. Use past form 'loved' and the gerund 'taking a walk'. Also 'in a park' should be 'in the park' when referring to a specific habitual place. This fits past habitual narration.

× Absolutely, but unfortunately these days I'm quite busy with my job as I'm working from Monday to Sunday.

✓ Absolutely, but unfortunately these days I'm quite busy with my job because I work from Monday to Sunday.

Using 'I'm working from Monday to Sunday' is less natural for habitual schedule; simple present 'I work' better expresses routine. Also 'as' is acceptable but 'because' is clearer for cause.

× However, if I get a bit of time for myself I would love to go to a park like I used to do since my childhood.

✓ However, if I get a bit of time for myself I would love to go to a park like I used to when I was a child.

Mixing 'used to' with 'since my childhood' is redundant and awkward. 'Used to' already indicates past habitual action; pair it with 'when I was a child' or use 'since childhood' with present perfect. Also remove extra 'do' after 'used to'.

× Definitely, since there are a lot of children living in my neighborhood, it would be great if they have more parks for children to play.

✓ Definitely, since there are a lot of children living in my neighborhood, it would be great if they had more parks to play in.

Use past-subjunctive 'had' after 'would be great if' to express a hypothetical wish. Also simplify 'parks for children to play' to 'parks to play in' for natural phrasing.

× Also, a lot of families have to travel a long distance in order to have a picnic, which seems to be a hassle for them as well.

✓ Also, a lot of families have to travel a long distance to have a picnic, which is a hassle for them as well.

'In order to' is correct but wordy; 'to' is more natural. 'Seems to be a hassle' should be simplified to 'is a hassle' for clarity and directness.

× I really hope that I would get an opportunity to visit the National Park in the Sydney Central business district in the near future.

✓ I really hope that I will get an opportunity to visit the national park in the Sydney central business district in the near future.

After 'I really hope that' use 'will' (future) rather than 'would' to express a real expectation. 'National Park' and 'Central business district' should follow normal capitalization: 'national park' unless it's a proper name; 'central business district' is common noun phrase.

× One of my friends told me that it is very quiet and peaceful over there.

✓ One of my friends told me that it is very quiet and peaceful there.

'Over there' is not incorrect but 'there' is more concise and natural in this context. No tense change needed.

× That's the exact type of environment in which I am looking for at any time.

✓ That's exactly the kind of environment I'm always looking for.

The original mixes relative clause 'in which' with 'looking for' causing awkward word order ('in which I am looking for' is ungrammatical). Use 'the kind of ... I'm looking for' or 'the kind of environment for which I am always looking'. 'At any time' is odd here; 'always' is more natural.