公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Старайтесь избегать повторов слов (например, «like») и уменьшить запинки. Начните с чёткой тематической фразы, затем добавьте 1–2 конкретных деталий (что вы делали, с кем и почему вам это нравилось). Используйте связки (for example, also, because) для логики. Ограничьте ответ до 2–4 предложений.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went with my mother and my friends, and we played on the swings and had picnics because it was a nice break from being at home. For example, I remember spending whole afternoons running around and eating snacks with my friends.

建议: Уменьшите звуковые заполнители (uh, like) и сократите повторения. Начните с краткого ответа (yes/no), затем объясните причину и приведите конкретный пример (когда вы ходите в парк и с кем). Используйте связки (for instance, because, when) и не более 3 предложений.

示例: Not very often nowadays, because I am very busy with courses and training. However, when I have spare time I like to visit a park with my friends to relax and chat. For instance, last weekend we walked in a nearby park after our classes.

建议: Говорите более уверенно и логично: сначала короткий ответ, затем причина и конкретика. Избегайте бессмысленных фраз. Уточните, что вы подразумеваете под «современными парками» и приведите конкретные преимущества (зоны для детей, спортплощадки). Это улучшит связность и содержание.

示例: Yes, I would. I think Zizak needs more modern parks with playgrounds and exercise areas because there are only two parks at the moment. More parks would improve the atmosphere and give families better places to relax and exercise.

建议: Будьте точнее: назовите парк правильно и дайте одно-два конкретных объяснения, почему хотите туда поехать (аттракционы, виды, расположение). Избегайте повторов и заполнителей; используйте связки (because, with, when). Держите 2–3 предложения.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Ferris Park in Dubai in the future. I want to go there with my mother or friends because it has beautiful views and interesting attractions. When I am older and have time, I plan to travel there for a short holiday.

× As a child, I like I used to be like a like a fan of like going to parks with my mom and I used to like spending time lots of time with my mom and like going to with my friends also. But when I was child, I like I spent on like in bed foods and like.

✓ As a child, I liked going to parks with my mom and I used to spend a lot of time with her and also go to parks with my friends. But when I was a child, I often stayed in bed and ate food.

Используется неправильное время и повторяющиеся наполнители 'like'. Следует использовать прошедшее время для описания привычек в прошлом: 'liked' и 'used to spend'. Уберите лишние вставные слова 'like' и исправьте артикль 'a child' на 'a child'. Также замените 'lots of time' на более естественное 'a lot of time' и переформулируйте второе предложение для ясности.

× Honestly now, like, uh, I'm a busy person and, and I have many things to do. For instance, I go to many courses such as like English SAT courses and my training and like I think I'm older to go parks, but umm, when I have like spare time, uh, like I want to go park with my friends and like.

✓ Honestly, now I'm a busy person and I have many things to do. For instance, I attend many courses such as English and SAT courses and I have training. I don't have time to go to parks often, but when I have spare time, I want to go to a park with my friends.

Неправильное использование настоящего времени и разговорные вставки. Употребляйте простое настоящее для регулярных действий: 'attend' вместо 'go to many courses' можно, и 'I don't have time' для выражения отсутствия возможности. Исправьте фразу 'go park' на 'go to a park' и уберите лишние 'like', 'uh'.

× For instance, I go to many courses such as like English SAT courses and my training and like I think I'm older to go parks, but umm, when I have like spare time, uh, like I want to go park with my friends and like.

✓ For instance, I attend many courses such as English and SAT courses and training, and I think I'm too old to go to parks often, but when I have spare time, I want to go to a park with my friends.

Неправильное использование предлогов: нужно 'go to parks' или 'go to a park', а не 'go park'. Также 'too old' выражает идею корректнее, чем 'older' в этом контексте. Используйте 'attend' для курсов и удалите разговорные вставки.

× Uh, from point of view, I like, I, I would like to see like more modern parks in our city called Zizak. And because, uh, when it comes to our like atmosphere, our buildings, there are like, uh, no more buildings. For instance, there are two parks only.

✓ From my point of view, I would like to see more modern parks in our city called Zizak. Also, our city lacks tall buildings and there are only two parks.

Проблемы с артиклями и структурой: должно быть 'From my point of view'. Уберите 'like' и 'uh'. Фраза 'no more buildings' некорректна; лучше 'lacks tall buildings' или 'there are few buildings'. 'There are only two parks' — правильный порядок слов.

× Yes, of course uh like I prefer go to like uh uh ferry uh uh park it's it is located in a like Europe and city like Dubai. I prefer to go to this park with my mom or with my like friends in the future when I like uh get older and this park like it's very like small.

✓ Yes, of course. I would prefer to go to the Ferry Park; it is located in a city in the United Arab Emirates, like Dubai. I would prefer to go to this park with my mom or my friends in the future when I get older. This park is very small.

Нужно использовать инфинитив с 'prefer' в конструкции 'would prefer to do something' и убрать повторы. 'Located in a Europe' неверно; используйте 'in a city in the United Arab Emirates, such as Dubai' или 'in Dubai'. Исправьте 'this park like it's very like small' на 'This park is very small'. Уберите разговорные вставки.