公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details linked with simple connectors (for example, “because” or “so”). Avoid repetition and unclear phrases. Also fix tense and article errors (e.g., “when I was a child,” “I liked”).

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because I liked exploring new places. For example, parks had playgrounds and wide open spaces where I could run and play with friends, which felt exciting and freeing.

建议: Use a clear present-tense statement and concise supporting details. Correct collocations and verb forms (e.g., “I like to go to the park when I need to relax,” “after dinner I usually go for a short walk”). Use linking words like “usually” or “often” to organize ideas and avoid hesitation words.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I often go after dinner to relax and get fresh air, and I usually walk there with my family so we can talk and unwind together.

建议: Give a direct opinion then support it with specific reasons and use cohesive linking words (e.g., “because,” “so”). Correct grammar (e.g., “If there were more parks in my city, it would be more convenient”). Be specific about benefits (exercise, walking pets, meeting friends) without repeating phrases.

示例: Yes, I would. If there were more parks in my city, it would be more convenient for exercising, walking pets, and meeting friends because people would have green spaces nearby to relax and socialize.

建议: Answer directly and give a clear example. Avoid filler sounds and incomplete sentences. Use past and future tense correctly when comparing experiences (e.g., “When I stayed in Australia, I enjoyed visiting national parks; in the future I would like to visit X national park because…”). Add a specific reason why you want to visit a particular park.

示例: Yes. For example, I would like to visit a national park again. When I stayed in Australia I enjoyed weekend visits to national parks because I could hike and spend long periods outdoors, so I hope to visit similar parks in the future to relax and see wildlife.

× Yes, of course, definitely, because when I was child I like to go everywhere.

✓ Yes, of course. When I was a child I liked to go everywhere.

The original contains multiple issues: missing article 'a' before 'child' (article error/structure) and wrong tense/verb form 'like' should be past 'liked' to match 'when I was a child'. Also the sentence is run-on with extra adverbs; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. Suggestion: add 'a', change 'like' to 'liked', and separate the exclamatory 'Yes' from the explanatory clause.

× I need to explore everywhere, every place, because everything for me is new.

✓ I needed to explore everywhere because everything was new to me.

The context is past (childhood), so present tense 'need' and 'is' are inconsistent. Change verbs to past: 'needed' and 'was'. Also reorder 'new to me' for natural English. Suggestion: keep tense consistent with 'when I was a child' by using past tense throughout.

× Especially in the park, they have playground and also have a lot of space is which mean is like.

✓ Especially in the park there was a playground and a lot of space, which I liked.

This sentence is ungrammatical and confusing. 'They have playground' is incorrect subject; change to 'there was a playground' (there be). 'Have a lot of space' should be 'a lot of space'. The clause 'is which mean is like' is unclear; interpret as 'which I liked' or 'which meant a lot to me.' Suggestion: use 'there was' for existence, correct noun phrases and replace the unclear fragment with a clear relative clause.

× It's the Lully Sure.

✓ It's lovely, sure.

The original appears to be mispronounced or wrong words. 'Lully' is not English; likely intended 'lovely'. Replace with correct adjective. Also keep 'sure' as a separate affirmation. Suggestion: use correct vocabulary and short affirmative response.

× I like to go to the park when I need to relaxing.

✓ I like to go to the park when I need to relax.

After 'need to' the base verb should be used, not the -ing form. 'Need to relaxing' is incorrect; use 'need to relax'. Suggestion: use 'need to' + base verb (infinitive without to) or use 'need relaxing' with a noun modifier but in this context 'need to relax' is natural.

× Usually when I had dinner after that, I went to the park and go for the walk a little bit, enjoy the fresh air and with my family.

✓ Usually after I had dinner, I went to the park and went for a short walk to enjoy the fresh air with my family.

Tense inconsistency and verb forms: 'went' then 'go' should both be past ('went'). 'Go for the walk a little bit' is unidiomatic; use 'went for a short walk'. 'Enjoy' should be 'to enjoy' or parallel past 'enjoyed'. Also remove extraneous 'and with'. Suggestion: keep past tense consistent and use natural collocations ('short walk', 'enjoy the fresh air'). },{

× That's that's feeling was great.

✓ That feeling was great.

Duplicate 'that's that's' is redundant and incorrect. Use 'That feeling was great' with past tense 'was' to match context. Suggestion: remove repetition and ensure correct subject-verb structure.

× Absolutely yes, if have more park in my city which mean is more convenient.

✓ Absolutely yes. If there were more parks in my city, it would be more convenient.

Missing 'there' (there be issue) and plural 'park' should be 'parks' (singular/plural). Conditional structure needs 'if there were' and result 'it would be'. Suggestion: use 'if there were' for hypothetical present and pluralize countable nouns.

× If you want to go to for the world, do some exercise or just talk to the friend or with the pet to go for the walk for everyone is very convenient, so why not If have more park in the city there will be wonderful and great.

✓ If you want to go out for a walk, exercise, or talk with a friend or walk your pet, having more parks would be very convenient, so why not? If there were more parks in the city, that would be wonderful.

This long sentence has many issues: 'go to for the world' is incorrect and likely 'go out for a walk'; 'the friend' should be 'a friend' or 'friends'; 'with the pet to go for the walk' should be 'walk your pet'; verb forms and articles are wrong. Use clearer parallel list and conditional 'would be'/'if there were'. Suggestion: simplify into two sentences, correct collocations ('go out for a walk', 'walk your pet') and use proper articles/plurals.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you would like to go to in the future?

Question is fine but in the transcript student responses use 'want' which is informal; better 'would like' for polite future preference. This is a style improvement rather than strict grammar error; however 'want to go to' is acceptable. Suggestion: use 'would like to' for polite future intentions.

× Yes, of course I like go to the park, specially if have, uh, National Park, for example, when I was stay in Australia, I really like it, uh, go to the National Park during the weekend and if go to the National Park, I can have a lot time and.

✓ Yes, of course. I like going to parks, especially national parks. For example, when I stayed in Australia, I really liked going to national parks at the weekend because I could spend a lot of time there.

Multiple tense and verb form errors: 'I like go' should be 'I like going' (verb + -ing). 'If have' should be 'if there is' or rephrased. 'When I was stay in Australia' should be 'when I stayed in Australia' (past tense). 'I really like it, uh, go to the National Park during the weekend' should be 'I really liked going to national parks at the weekend' (past). 'I can have a lot time' should be 'I could spend a lot of time' or 'I had a lot of time'. Suggestion: keep tense consistent, use 'like + -ing' for general likes, and use correct past forms for past experiences.