公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: 문법과 어휘 사용을 정확하게 고치고, 문장을 더 자연스럽고 간결하게 만드세요. 예: 관사(a/the) 사용, 시제 일치, 잘못된 동사 표현(‘work park’) 수정이 필요합니다. 또한 한두 문장으로 핵심을 말하고, 추가 설명은 연결어를 사용해 자연스럽게 덧붙이세요.

示例: Yes, I did. I usually went to the park with my family and our dog. I enjoyed spending time there because we often played games and walked together.

建议: 발음과 문법 오류(‘get got’, 관사 누락)를 고치고, 표현을 명확하게 하세요. 주제문으로 시작한 뒤 이유와 방법을 연결어(so / because / when)를 써서 구체적으로 설명하세요. 또한 ‘listening to music’처럼 전치사 사용을 정확히 하세요.

示例: Yes, I do. I usually go to the park when I feel stressed because walking outside and listening to music helps me relax.

建议: 의미 전달은 되지만 어휘 선택과 문장 구조가 부정확합니다. ‘help people relieve stress’처럼 자연스러운 표현을 사용하고, 중복되는 표현(‘I think’ 반복)을 줄이세요. 또한 ‘by working the park’는 의미가 불분명하니 명확한 활동(eg. exercising, walking)으로 바꾸세요.

示例: Yes, I would. More parks would help people relieve stress because they provide space for walking, exercising, and relaxing outdoors.

建议: 응답을 더 자연스럽게 만들기 위해 간결한 주제문과 구체적인 이유를 추가하세요. 중복된 구문(‘It is my it is one of my dream’)을 정리하고 관사 사용(‘Central Park’는 고유명사라 관사 불필요)과 소유 표현(‘one of my dreams’)을 정확히 쓰세요.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Central Park someday because it's famous for its beautiful scenery and many activities, and it's one of my dreams to see it in person.

× Yes I did, I usually went to park with my family and my dog.

✓ Yes, I did. I usually went to the park with my family and my dog.

The sentence needs proper punctuation to separate two independent clauses and the definite article 'the' is required before 'park' when referring to a specific place. Use a period or semicolon between independent clauses and include 'the' before 'park'. Example: 'I usually went to the park.'

× I like the time when we work park together.

✓ I liked the times when we went to the park together.

The speaker refers to past habitual experience, so past tense 'liked' and 'went' should be used. 'Work park' is incorrect; use 'went to the park'. Also plural 'times' is more natural for repeated occasions. Suggestion: use past simple for past habits and include 'to the' before 'park'. Example: 'I liked the times when we went to the park together.'

× And so I do, I usually go to park when I get got stressed or something.

✓ Yes, I still do. I usually go to the park when I get stressed or something.

Use 'still' to answer 'Do you still like...'. Remove 'got' which is incorrect here; 'get stressed' is acceptable for becoming stressed. Insert the definite article 'the' before 'park'. Split into two sentences or use proper punctuation. Suggestion: 'Yes, I still do. I usually go to the park when I get stressed.' Example: 'I usually go to the park when I get stressed.'

× It is helpful to work just listening music.

✓ It is helpful to just listen to music while walking in the park.

The phrase 'to work just listening music' is ungrammatical. Use the infinitive or gerund correctly: 'to listen to music' or 'listening to music'. Also add 'to' after 'listen' for the verb and clarify activity 'while walking in the park'. Suggestion: 'It is helpful to just listen to music.' or 'Listening to music is helpful.' Example: 'It is helpful to just listen to music.'

× Yes I think so because I think park can be help people to a lot of steam and get rid of their stress by working the park easily.

✓ Yes, I think so because parks can help people relieve a lot of stress and get rid of their stress by walking in the park easily.

Multiple issues: use plural 'parks' to speak generally, 'can help' is the correct verb phrase, 'relieve a lot of stress' is the correct collocation rather than 'help people to a lot of steam', and 'walking in the park' is the correct activity phrase (not 'working the park'). Include appropriate prepositions and articles. Suggestion: use 'parks can help people relieve stress by walking in the park.' Example: 'Parks can help people relieve a lot of stress by walking in the park.'

× Yes, I have. I want to go Central Park someday.

✓ Yes, I have. I want to go to Central Park someday.

When naming a specific park, include the preposition 'to' after 'go'. The first sentence 'Yes, I have.' is acceptable but could be more natural as 'Yes, I have been to some parks' if intended. Suggestion: 'I want to go to Central Park someday.' Example: 'I want to go to Central Park someday.'

× It is my it is one of my dream.

✓ It is one of my dreams.

The phrase is repetitive and ungrammatical. Use the plural 'dreams' with 'one of my' and remove the repeated 'it is'. Suggestion: 'It is one of my dreams.' Example: 'Visiting Central Park is one of my dreams.'