公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (plural/singular, tense), avoid repetition, and add one specific detail. Use one or two linking words to connect ideas.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. There were several small parks near my home, and we often played hide-and-seek among the trees. Because the parks were full of flowers and open spaces, they felt like the perfect place to spend afternoons with my friends.

建议: Be more coherent and use natural phrasing. Start with a clear statement, then give two specific reasons using linking words (for example, 'because' or 'and'). Avoid filler words and incorrect verbs (e.g., 'giving oxygen', 'yogas').

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I like them because they are peaceful and full of greenery, and they have walking paths where I can exercise. Also, I often meet friends there, so it is a good place to socialise and relax.

建议: Answer directly and organise points clearly. Use linking words (for example, 'because' and 'so') and correct collocations (e.g., 'provide fresh air', 'children play there', 'safe'). Mention one specific improvement you want.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide fresh air and safe places for children and elderly people to spend time. For example, the city could add well-lit paths and playgrounds so families feel more comfortable visiting in the evenings.

建议: Be precise and correct grammar (e.g., 'park' not 'part', 'in the future', 'visit the museum there'). Begin with a clear statement and include two specific reasons why you want to visit, using linking words like 'because' and 'and'.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Rambag Park in the future because it has many historic monuments and a museum. I am especially interested in the museum, and I want to spend time exploring the monuments and walking through the large gardens there.

× Yes, we were having lots of park in our area and we used to go there and play there.

✓ Yes, we had lots of parks in our area and we used to go there and play.

Original uses 'lots of park' which is incorrect count noun form; 'park' must be plural 'parks' after 'lots of'. Also 'were having' is an incorrect progressive for past possession—use simple past 'had'. Removed redundant 'there'. Suggestion: use 'we had lots of parks' for past habitual situations.

× Parks are very beautiful things, they are green, they have lots of flowers and this is the best area to play though we used to go.

✓ Parks are very beautiful; they are green and have lots of flowers, and they were the best places to play when we went.

Sentence is long and contains awkward phrasing. 'Things' is unnecessary; use 'places'. 'This is the best area to play though we used to go' mixes tenses and structure—change to past 'they were the best places to play when we went'. Use punctuation to separate ideas. Suggestion: simplify and match past tense for childhood reference.

× Definitely parks are lush, green and giving oxygen.

✓ Definitely, parks are lush, green, and provide oxygen.

'Giving oxygen' is awkward; use verb 'provide' for present habitual facts. Also add a comma after 'Definitely'. Suggestion: use natural collocations like 'provide oxygen' or 'produce oxygen'.

× They're very beautiful, very colorful and they have tracks for walking.

✓ They're very beautiful and colorful, and they have walking paths.

'Tracks for walking' is understandable but 'walking paths' or 'walking tracks' is more natural. Commas adjusted for coordination. Suggestion: prefer 'walking paths' for clarity.

× We can talk, laugh, cheer and we can do exercises, yogas and everything.

✓ We can talk, laugh, cheer, and do exercises, yoga, and other activities.

'Yogas' is incorrect plural; 'yoga' is uncountable. 'and everything' is vague—replace with 'other activities'. Remove redundant 'we can'. Suggestion: list activities with parallel structure and correct uncountable noun use.

× So I like uh, to go past definitely.

✓ So I definitely like to go there.

'to go past' is wrong in this context; likely meant 'to go there'. Word order 'definitely like to go' is more natural. Remove filler 'uh'. Suggestion: say 'I definitely like going there' or 'I definitely like to go there'.

× I would like to see all the parks in my city because parks are giving fresh air, children's play there, adults go there, old persons go there.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city because parks provide fresh air; children play there, adults go there, and elderly people visit them.

'Giving fresh air' should be 'provide fresh air'. Sentence runs several clauses without proper connectors. 'Children's play there' is ungrammatical—use 'children play there'. 'Old persons' is unnatural; use 'elderly people'. Suggestion: use 'provide' and improve clause cohesion.

× So they should be risk free and everything there should be good path.

✓ So they should be risk-free, and there should be good pathways.

Use hyphenated adjective 'risk-free'. 'Everything there should be good path' is ungrammatical — 'there should be good pathways' or 'good paths' is correct. Suggestion: be specific and use plural 'paths' or 'pathways'.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you would like to visit in the future?

Original question from examiner is fine, but student answers must match. This item flagged for consistency: use 'would like to visit' for polite future preference. Suggestion: use 'would like to visit' when expressing future intentions politely.

× Rambag Park is the park which I would like to go in future because this is not only a part but full of monuments.

✓ Rambag Park is the park I would like to visit in the future because it is not only a park but is full of monuments.

'Would like to go in future' should be 'would like to visit in the future'. 'This is not only a part' seems intended as 'not only a park'. Also add 'is' before 'full of monuments'. Suggestion: use 'visit' and correct nouns (park vs part).

× It is like a big city in itself.

✓ It is like a big city in itself.

Sentence is correct; no article error. Included for completeness; keep as is.

× There is a a museum. I would like to see the museum there be.

✓ There is a museum. I would like to see that museum there.

Extra 'a' typed twice. 'I would like to see the museum there be' is ungrammatical; remove 'be' and use 'that museum' or 'the museum there'. Suggestion: use 'I would like to see the museum there' or 'I would like to visit the museum'.