公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be careful with tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition. Aim for natural phrasing and correct subject-verb agreement.

示例: Yes. I loved going to parks when I was a child because I often played soccer there with my friends. For example, we met every Saturday at the local park and practised for hours, which helped me improve my skills and make close friends.

建议: Use present simple to describe current habits and be concise. Organize the answer: state whether you still like parks, then add one specific reason with linking words. Fix grammar (e.g., 'I've moved', 'there aren't many parks', 'my two nieces who like to play').

示例: Yes, I still enjoy parks, but my habits have changed since I moved to the USA. Because there aren’t many parks nearby here, I usually go with my family and my two nieces for short visits where we play and have a barbecue together.

建议: Answer directly and give clear, specific reasons using linking words. Correct grammar and word choice (e.g., 'parks', 'they make me feel…', 'there are many children playing'). Provide one or two concrete benefits of more parks.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they make the area greener and improve people’s wellbeing. For instance, more parks would give children safe places to play and families spaces to relax, which would improve community health.

建议: Be specific about which park or type of park and use future forms correctly (e.g., 'I would like to visit...'). Give one clear reason and a brief supporting detail using linking words. Avoid filler words like 'uh' and repetitive phrasing.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit a large city park with my old friends in the future because we haven’t seen each other for a long time. We could meet there to play games and talk about our lives and future plans, which would help us reconnect.

× When I was a child, I like to stay with my friends more, going to any club to play soccer.

✓ When I was a child, I liked to spend more time with my friends, going to any club to play soccer.

ID:6 Explanation: The sentence refers to past habitual action, so the verb should be in the past tense ('liked' instead of 'like'). Also 'stay with my friends more' is awkward; 'spend more time with my friends' is more natural. Suggestion: use past simple for past habits and use natural collocations like 'spend time'.

× This is what I did when I was a child.

✓ That is what I did when I was a child.

ID:6 Explanation: The tense 'did' is correct for past, but 'This is what I did when I was a child' mixes present 'is' with past 'did'. Replace 'This' with 'That' to refer back to past actions. Suggestion: use 'That is what I did' or 'That was what I did' for consistency; 'That is what I did' is acceptable when pointing back to a past example.

× Right now everything is different because I'm moved to USA so we haven't heard too many parks, so I'm going to stay with my family with my two nieces which like to play together and get some fun doing BBQ outside.

✓ Right now everything is different because I moved to the USA, so we don't have many parks here. I stay with my family and my two nieces, who like to play together and have fun barbecuing outside.

ID:6 Explanation: Multiple tense and phrasing errors: 'I'm moved' is incorrect — use past simple 'I moved' for completed action. 'haven't heard too many parks' is incorrect collocation; use 'don't have many parks'. 'going to stay' is wrong for habitual present — use 'I stay' or 'I am staying'. 'which' should be 'who' for people. 'get some fun doing BBQ' is unidiomatic; use 'have fun barbecuing'. Suggestion: use correct tense for events and natural collocations; use 'the USA' and 'who' for relatives.

× Yes, I like to see more Parkes because it's make me feel like it.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks because it makes me feel happy.

ID:22 Explanation: 'Parkes' is a misspelling; correct plural is 'parks'. 'I like to see' is awkward for a wish — 'I would like to see' is more appropriate. 'it's make me feel like it' has subject-verb agreement and unclear phrasing; use 'it makes me feel happy' or similar. Suggestion: correct spelling, use conditional 'would like' for preferences, and ensure subject-verb agreement.

× It's a big area to see which you can see if the greens and it's too many kids playing.

✓ It is a large area with green spaces where you can see many children playing.

ID:1 Explanation: Problems: 'which you can see if the greens' is ungrammatical and unclear. 'it's too many kids playing' mixes contraction 'it's' with plural noun; use 'there are many children playing' or 'you can see many children playing'. Suggestion: use 'there are' for existence of plural nouns, use 'children' instead of 'kids' for formality, and reorder to 'a large area with green spaces where you can see many children playing.'

× Yes, I like to go in in the future because I can't see my friends right there.

✓ Yes, I would like to go in the future because I cannot see my friends there now.

ID:6 Explanation: 'I like to go in in the future' is awkward and duplicates 'in'. Use 'I would like to go in the future' to express intention. 'I can't see my friends right there' mixes present inability with location; clearer: 'I cannot see my friends there now.' Suggestion: use 'would like' for future wishes and avoid redundant words.

× Uh, stay with them playing, talking too much about the life and about the dreams in the future.

✓ I would stay with them, playing and talking a lot about life and our future dreams.

ID:26 Explanation: Sentence fragment lacks clear subject and full structure. 'talking too much about the life' is unnatural; use 'talking a lot about life and our future dreams'. Suggestion: include subject 'I' and use parallel gerunds 'playing and talking' for clarity.