公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be concise and correct basic grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

示例: Yes, I loved going to the park as a child. For example, I often went there with my family and cousins to play games and have picnics, and those afternoons created many happy memories.

建议: Use a clear present-tense statement and give specific activities and reasons. Use linking words such as "because" or "so" and correct vocabulary (e.g. "relaxation" not "lilacs").

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually go there to walk or run because it helps me relax, and sometimes I go with my mother so we can talk and exercise together.

建议: Answer directly and clearly. State your opinion, then give a specific reason or example. Avoid vague phrases and correct grammar ("more parks in my city"). Use linking words like "however" or "because".

示例: I would like to see more parks in my city because they offer more places to exercise and relax. For instance, new parks with walking paths and benches would make it easier for people to enjoy outdoor time.

建议: Give a specific, grammatically correct plan. Name the park clearly and explain why you want to visit it, using connecting words such as "because" or "so". Avoid unclear words like "abort."

示例: If possible, I would like to visit Century Park in Shanghai because I have heard it has beautiful gardens and a large lake where I can relax and take photos.

× Yes, I really like to going to the park when I walk.

✓ Yes, I really like going to the park when I walk.

The construction 'like to going' mixes the infinitive marker 'to' with a gerund 'going'. English uses either 'like to do' or 'like doing'. Remove 'to' to form 'like going' which is correct here.

× A child I went to I went to the park with my family, my friends and my cousin.

✓ As a child, I went to the park with my family, my friends, and my cousin.

The original sentence has incorrect word order and missing punctuation. Begin with the phrase 'As a child' to show time, then use the simple past 'I went' and list companions with commas for clarity.

× Sometime we pay a lot to park and I really enjoy it.

✓ Sometimes we used to pay a lot to enter the park, and I really enjoyed it.

'Sometime' is incorrect; use 'Sometimes' for frequency. Also tense consistency: speaking about past memories, use past tense verbs 'used to pay' or 'paid' and 'enjoyed'. 'Pay a lot to park' is unclear; 'pay a lot to enter the park' clarifies meaning.

× Yes, from now on I still like going to the park.

✓ Yes, I still like going to the park.

'From now on' implies future continuous change; unnecessary here. Use simple present 'I still like' to express current habit.

× I go to the park and I have a free time for a walk or a run and sometime I go with my mom.

✓ I go to the park when I have free time to walk or run, and sometimes I go with my mom.

'Have a free time' is unidiomatic; use 'have free time'. Place adverb 'sometimes' correctly. Use 'to walk or run' to show purpose. Maintain sentence flow.

× It's really good for lilacs.

✓ It's really good for my health.

The original 'good for lilacs' is unclear and likely incorrect word choice. If the speaker meant personal benefit, 'good for my health' is appropriate. If they meant 'lilacs' (flowers) benefitting, clarify context.

× MMM actually I don't want to see more park in my family, but I think it's gonna be great if I can go for a walk in another place.

✓ Actually, I don't want to see more parks in my neighborhood, but I think it would be great if I could walk in a different place.

'See more park in my family' is incorrect use of nouns/pronouns and collocations. 'Parks' plural required (plural count noun). 'In my family' is wrong context; 'in my neighborhood' or 'city' fits. Use polite conditional 'would' and 'could' instead of 'gonna' and 'can' to match hypothetical tone.

× Maybe tell me more, relax.

✓ Maybe I could relax and learn more about other parks.

Original is fragmented and lacks clear subject; 'Maybe tell me more, relax' is ungrammatical. Provide a coherent structure with proper conjunctions and verbs.

× Or it's kind of travel in the same time.

✓ Or it's kind of like traveling at the same time.

'Travel' needs to be a gerund 'traveling' after 'like' and 'kind of' requires 'like' for comparison. Maintain present participle to express simultaneous action.

× If it is possible, I want to go to the park just at Shanghai park or in abort if it can possible.

✓ If possible, I would like to go to Shanghai Park or abroad if that is possible.

Use polite modal 'would like' for wishes. 'Just at Shanghai park' is redundant; 'Shanghai Park' sufficient. 'In abort' is incorrect—likely 'abroad'. 'If that is possible' is clearer than 'if it can possible' which mixes modals incorrectly.