公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct, grammatical and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I did), avoid fillers (uh) and incorrect word forms, and add one brief supporting detail. Keep it under five sentences.

示例: Yes, I did. I loved going to the park near my house because it had a big playground and I played there with my friends every weekend.

建议: Organize your reply: give a clear topic sentence, then 1–2 specific supporting details using linking words (for example, because/so). Avoid repetition and fillers; use correct verb forms and count nouns (yoga, not yogas).

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I often do Pilates and yoga there because the fresh air helps me relax and I also walk to keep fit.

建议: Make a clear direct answer (Yes/No) then give specific reasons. Use correct nouns and adjectives (nature, green spaces, not "natures" or "when dirtiest"). Keep sentences simple and coherent and avoid unclear phrases.

示例: Yes, I would. More green spaces would make the city more relaxing because seeing trees and grass reduces stress and provides places for exercise and family outings.

建议: Answer directly about future plans, use correct tense and sequence words, and avoid fragmented sentences. Mention a specific park and why you want to visit, and state a clear plan or reason for saving money.

示例: Yes. I would like to return to Hyde Park in London because I remember enjoying its wide lawns and lakes as a child. I'm saving money now so I can travel there in the next couple of years.

× Yes, when I was a child I, uh, lovely, go to the park.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I loved going to the park.

The student used the adjective 'lovely' incorrectly to describe their action and mixed tenses. Use the past tense verb 'loved' and the gerund 'going' after verbs of liking to express past habitual actions. Suggestion: use 'loved going' or 'used to go'.

× Nowadays I go to the park for practice, some Pilates and do some yogas.

✓ Nowadays I go to the park to practise Pilates and do yoga.

The phrase 'for practice' is unnecessary and 'practise' as a verb or 'practice' as a noun should be chosen; 'Pilates' does not need 'some', and 'yoga' is an uncountable noun so 'yogas' is incorrect. Use 'to practise Pilates and do yoga'.

× But now uh, I just enjoy the nature and I just want to walk in the park and never wants to play with uh things.

✓ But now I just enjoy nature and I just want to walk in the park and never want to play with things.

The noun 'nature' is uncountable and does not need 'the'. The verb must agree with the subject: 'I never want' (not 'wants'). Remove filler words. Suggestion: 'I enjoy nature' and 'I never want to play with things.'

× I just want to walk and try to lose weight.

✓ I just want to walk and try to lose weight.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'Want to' + base verb and 'try to' + base verb are used correctly. No change needed.

× Definitely because I enjoy when I see a lot of natures in the hometown and when I see the green I think I very enjoy and it's the color of the life and I can just be relaxed and I prefer to be in nature when dirtiest.

✓ Definitely, because I enjoy seeing a lot of nature in my hometown, and when I see greenery I really enjoy it; it's the color of life and I can relax. I prefer to be in nature when it is clean.

Many issues: 'natures' should be uncountable 'nature'; 'enjoy when I see' is awkward — use 'enjoy seeing'; 'the green' should be 'greenery' or 'green'; 'I very enjoy' is incorrect word order and adverb choice — use 'I really enjoy it'; 'the color of the life' should be 'the color of life'; 'be relaxed' -> 'relax'; 'when dirtiest' is unclear — likely opposite meaning, so changed to 'when it is clean'. Suggest simplifying sentences and using correct adjective/adverb order.

× When I was a child, my father took me in London and I went to the Hyde Park.

✓ When I was a child, my father took me to London and I went to Hyde Park.

Use 'to London' not 'in London' after 'took me'. 'the Hyde Park' is incorrect; proper names of parks usually omit the definite article: 'Hyde Park'. Ensure past tense 'took' and 'went' are correct.

× I can't remember so clearly but I love to go there right now and it's my wish list to go to the London.

✓ I can't remember very clearly, but I would love to go there now, and it's on my wish list to go to London.

Mix of present and modal needed: 'I can't remember very clearly' (present), but expressing desire uses 'would love to' or 'I want to go there'. 'Right now' fits better with 'would love to go there now'. 'It's on my wish list' is correct phrasing; do not use 'the' before 'London'.

× When I'm in this age. I'm trying to save money to travel in London.

✓ At this age, I'm trying to save money to travel to London.

Sentence fragment corrected: combine into one sentence. Use 'At this age' or 'At my age' rather than 'When I'm in this age'. Use 'travel to London' (not 'in London'). 'I'm trying to save' is correct present continuous for planned action.