公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and use correct tense and article usage. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid repetition (e.g., 'on the on the').

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child because they were relaxing and fun. For example, I often spent hours on the slides and swings, and I enjoyed playing on the seesaw with my friends.

建议: Use a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (e.g., 'I'm not keen on going outside'). Give one specific reason and a conditional statement if necessary, linked smoothly.

示例: Not really — I'm not keen on going outside these days because I prefer indoor hobbies. However, if my city created more attractive parks with better facilities, I might enjoy visiting them again.

建议: Begin with a direct answer, then explain with precise reasons using linking words. Avoid awkward phrasing and repetition. Use clearer examples and smoother grammar (e.g., 'Manila lacks parks because...').

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. Manila currently lacks public green spaces because urban planning prioritizes commercial development, so adding more parks would improve residents' wellbeing.

建议: Use a concise topic sentence and correct articles and prepositions (e.g., 'a park I would like to visit is Stanley Park in Vancouver'). Add one or two vivid, specific details and a linking phrase to sound natural.

示例: A park I would like to visit in the future is Stanley Park in Vancouver. It is famous for its dense trees and scenic seawall, where you can enjoy stunning views of the ocean and the city skyline.

× Yes, I really like going to the parks as a child and because it is really relaxing and enjoyable.

✓ Yes, I really liked going to parks as a child because it was really relaxing and enjoyable.

The sentence mixes present tense 'like' with the past time reference 'as a child.' Use past tense 'liked' and 'was' to match the time frame. Also remove the article 'the' before 'parks' because plural general reference to parks does not need 'the'. Suggestion: Use consistent past tense for memories: 'I liked going to parks as a child because it was relaxing.'

× I really like to play on the on the slides, swinging on the swings and play on the seesaw.

✓ I really liked playing on the slides, swinging on the swings, and playing on the seesaw.

When listing activities after a verb of preference referring to past enjoyment, use the -ing form consistently ('playing', 'swinging', 'playing'). Also remove duplicate 'on the' and keep parallel structure. Use past tense 'liked' to match 'as a child.' Suggestion: Keep verbs in the same form and maintain parallelism: 'I liked playing on the slides, swinging on the swings, and playing on the seesaw.'

× Currently not anymore because I'm not really keen to going outside and that I got bored of going to parks, but if my city were able to put more parks then I would be able to enjoy more at least.

✓ Not really anymore because I'm not keen on going outside and I've become bored of going to parks, but if my city could create more parks I would be able to enjoy them more.

Use 'keen on' not 'keen to' when followed by a gerund. 'Keen on going' requires 'going' not 'to going.' Use present perfect 'I've become' to describe a change up to now. Replace 'were able to put' with 'could create' for natural conditional. Also 'enjoy more at least' is awkward; use 'enjoy them more.' Suggestion: Use correct preposition after 'keen' and consistent tense: 'I'm not keen on going outside' and 'I've become bored of going to parks.'

× Yes, I would really like to see more parks in my city.

✓ Yes, I would really like to see more parks in my city.

This sentence is grammatically correct. 'Would like' correctly expresses a polite desire for the future. No change needed.

× Currently in my city, Manila it is.

✓ Currently, my city is Manila.

Original word order is incorrect and redundant. Place the subject 'my city' before the verb and follow with the complement: 'my city is Manila.' Use commas to set off 'currently.' Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb order: 'Currently, my city is Manila.'

× They don't have enough parks there because most people really care about what produces more income.

✓ There aren't enough parks because most people care more about projects that produce income.

Pronoun 'They' is vague for 'the authorities' or 'the city'; better to use impersonal 'There aren't.' Also 'what produces more income' is informal; use 'projects that produce income.' Suggestion: Use clearer subjects and noun phrases: 'There aren't enough parks because decision makers prioritize projects that produce income.'

× Since parks don't produce more income, they don't have parks that much.

✓ Since parks don't generate much income, they don't build many parks.

'Produce more income' is awkward; 'generate much income' is better. 'They don't have parks that much' is ungrammatical; clarify the agent and use 'build many parks.' Suggestion: Use natural verbs and quantify properly: 'they don't build many parks.'

× So I would really like more parks better.

✓ So I would really like to have more parks.

The phrase 'more parks better' is ungrammatical. Use 'would like to have more parks' to express desire. Avoid redundant comparative 'better' with 'more.' Suggestion: Keep the structure simple: 'I would really like to have more parks.'

× Yes, there is one part that I really like to go in the future and that would be Stanley Park.

✓ Yes, there is one park that I would really like to visit in the future, and that would be Stanley Park.

'Part' is a typo for 'park.' Use 'visit' instead of 'go' with 'park' to be more natural. Place 'in the future' after 'visit' and maintain article 'one park.' Suggestion: Use correct noun and verb: 'one park' and 'visit in the future.'

× Stanley Park is in Vancouver and here in Stanley Park there is a lot of trees there.

✓ Stanley Park is in Vancouver, and there are a lot of trees there.

Use 'there are' for plural 'a lot of trees' (subject-verb agreement). Remove redundant 'here in Stanley Park' and extra 'there.' Suggestion: Use correct existential 'there are' with plural nouns: 'there are a lot of trees.'

× You can take a view on the ocean as well as the city and it is really much more breathtaking.

✓ You can see a view of the ocean as well as the city, and it is really breathtaking.

Use 'see a view of' or 'have a view of' not 'take a view on.' Remove 'much more' which is comparative without reference; 'really breathtaking' is sufficient. Adjust word order and punctuation. Suggestion: Use correct collocations: 'have a view of the ocean' or 'see the ocean' and avoid unnecessary comparatives.