公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Begin with a clear topic sentence in past tense, correct verb forms, and avoid redundancy. Use one or two specific supporting details linked logically (for example: who you went with and what activities you did). Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use linking words such as “also” or “for example.”

示例: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. I often went there with my friends to play on the swings and slides, and we also sometimes walked down to the nearby beach to play in the sand. Those outings were a regular weekend treat for us.

建议: Use present tense consistently and make sentences concise. State the main idea first, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words (e.g. “because” or “so”). Correct awkward phrases and avoid repetition (e.g. don’t repeat 'running' unnecessarily).

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they are perfect for exercise and relaxation. For example, I go jogging there several times a week to improve my endurance and to clear my mind after work.

建议: Answer directly and give a clear reason using linking words (“because,” “so”). Correct grammar (plural/singular and word order) and avoid filler phrases. Provide one specific example of what a new park would offer (e.g. trails, fitness equipment) to make your answer more concrete.

示例: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because I often use the same park for jogging and it becomes boring. For instance, a new park with varied running trails and outdoor fitness equipment would make my workouts more interesting.

建议: Be specific about the park and use future forms correctly (“I would like to visit,” “I want to go to”). Mention one concrete reason why you want to visit that park and use a linking phrase such as “for example” or “because.” Keep it concise and grammatical.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit parks I haven't seen before. For example, I want to explore High Park in Orchard Country because I have heard it has beautiful gardens and scenic walking paths, which would be great for photography and relaxing walks.

× Yes, I like to go to the park.

✓ Yes, I liked going to the park.

The question asks about childhood ('Did you like... as a child?') so the past tense should be used. Use 'liked' and the gerund 'going' to describe a habitual past activity. Suggestion: match the past timeframe when answering childhood questions.

× When I were young, I remember that I often went to the park and playing with my friend at the playground and also we went out to go to the sea for playing.

✓ When I was young, I remember that I often went to the park and played with my friend on the playground, and we also went to the sea to play.

Multiple issues: 'were' should be 'was' for first-person singular in past (past tense issue). 'Playing' should be 'played' to follow parallel past verbs (past tense issue or verb form). 'On the playground' is the correct preposition (preposition issue), 'went out to go to the sea for playing' is awkward; use 'went to the sea to play' (infinitive purpose). Suggestions: use past tense consistently for childhood actions and keep verb forms parallel.

× Of course, I like going to the parks, it appealed to me calling me.

✓ Of course, I like going to parks; they appeal to me.

The first clause can stay present simple ('I like going to parks'). 'It appealed to me calling me' mixes past and unclear phrasing. Use present 'they appeal to me' to match current preference and plural 'parks'. Also use a semicolon or separate sentences to avoid comma splice (sentence structure issue). Suggestion: keep tense consistent and use clear subject 'they' for parks.

× I enjoy running so often, so I go there to jog and practice Running is nice place to improve my performance for running and clear my mind.

✓ I enjoy running, so I go there to jog and practice. Running is a nice way to improve my performance and clear my mind.

Run-on sentence and capitalization error: 'practice Running' needs separation; 'Running' was incorrectly capitalized mid-sentence. 'Nice place' is odd for an activity; use 'nice way'. Also 'for running' should be 'to improve my running' or 'to improve my performance'. Suggestion: split into two sentences, fix capitalization, and choose appropriate noun ('way') or rephrase to 'improve my running'.

× Yes, I would like to see more park in the city.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in the city.

Count noun 'park' requires plural or an article. Because 'more' implies quantity, use plural 'parks'. Suggestion: with 'more' use plural nouns: 'more parks'.

× Actually I as I said before, I go to the park for running and jogging sometimes go to the same park make me a bit boring.

✓ Actually, as I said before, I go to the park to run and jog; sometimes going to the same park makes me a bit bored.

Many issues: redundant 'I as I said before' corrected to 'as I said before' (sentence structure). Use infinitive 'to run and jog' rather than 'for running and jogging' (style). 'Sometimes go to the same park make me a bit boring' has subject-verb agreement and word choice errors: change to 'sometimes going to the same park makes me a bit bored.' 'Bored' is the correct adjective to describe feeling. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and correct adjective choice.

× So I want to go to the different park or new park that.

✓ So I want to go to a different park or a new park.

Use indefinite article 'a' before singular count nouns ('a different park', 'a new park'). The trailing 'that' is unnecessary and ungrammatical. Suggestion: remove extraneous words and include articles before singular nouns.

× Yes, I would like to go to the different park that I haven't gone and I want to explore a new park in the Orchard country as well.

✓ Yes, I would like to go to a different park that I haven't visited, and I want to explore a new park in Orchard Country as well.

Use 'a different park' with article. 'Haven't gone' is nonstandard; use 'haven't visited' or 'haven't been to'. 'Orchard country' likely a proper noun; capitalize 'Orchard Country'. Use comma and conjunction for coordination. Suggestion: use 'visited' or 'been to' for places, include articles, and capitalize proper nouns.

× For example, I want to go to the to the high park someday.

✓ For example, I want to go to The High Park someday.

There is a duplicated 'to the'. Remove the extra 'to'. If 'High Park' is a specific park name, capitalize and use the definite article if the name includes it ('The High Park') or simply 'High Park' depending on the official name. Suggestion: check the proper name of the park and write it correctly, avoiding duplicated words.