公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Make your answer grammatically correct, more concise, and add one or two specific details. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and include a linking expression for clarity. For example, say you enjoyed family trips to parks and mention a vivid detail such as a favourite activity or memory.

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My family often went on trips where we would set up a small camp, have a barbecue and play games together, which I remember as my favourite part of those outings.

建议: Clarify your meaning and correct grammar. Give a direct topic sentence then explain how often and why you go to parks now, using linking words like 'although' or 'however'. Avoid fillers and vague phrases. Be specific about occasions you visit parks.

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. Although I no longer live with my parents, I try to visit parks regularly when we arrange family outings or picnics, because I value spending quality time with them.

建议: Make your position clear and correct sentence structure. Use comparative or evaluative language and give one specific reason. Mention current park situation briefly and then state whether more are needed, using linking words like 'because' or 'however'.

示例: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city. Although Hanoi already has many green spaces, having more small neighbourhood parks would be helpful because they make it easier for people to relax and exercise close to home.

建议: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence naming the park, then give a specific reason and mention any obstacles briefly using linking words like 'but' or 'however'. Avoid unrelated words like 'spa' if you mean 'park'.

示例: Yes, I would like to visit Hua Bing Park in the near future because it is very close to my house. However, I have been too busy with work and study recently, so I hope to go there when I have more free time.

× When I was a child, I really excited when my family have a trip, go to the park, act like camping activity and we have barbecue and talk together.

✓ When I was a child, I was really excited when my family had a trip, went to the park, acted like we were camping, and we had a barbecue and talked together.

Errors: 'really excited' needs past tense verb 'was' (present tense issue/verb form). 'have a trip' should be past 'had' to match 'When I was a child'. 'go to the park' should be past 'went'. 'act like camping activity' is awkward and needs 'acted like we were camping' for correct structure. 'we have barbecue and talk together' should be past: 'we had a barbecue and talked together'. Suggestion: Keep all verbs in past tense when describing past habitual actions; ensure auxiliary or linking verbs (was) are used with adjectives like 'excited'.

× Yes, I do. I don't uh, live with my family because I will grow up, but when we have a a trip or going to bed, I always have time. I always spend time for my family in park.

✓ Yes, I do. I don't live with my family because I grew up, but when we have a trip or go on a trip, I always make time. I always spend time with my family in the park.

Errors: 'I don't live with my family because I will grow up' mixes present and future incorrectly; use past 'I grew up' or 'I have grown up' if referring to current status (present tense issue). 'or going to bed' is wrong contextually; likely 'or go on a trip' (verb + -ing/form issue). 'I always have time' is acceptable but 'make time' is more natural. 'spend time for my family' should be 'spend time with my family' (incorrect use of prepositions). 'in park' needs article 'in the park' (article error). Suggestion: Keep tense consistent and use correct prepositions and articles.

× I would like to see more park in my city.

✓ I would like to see more parks in my city.

Errors: 'more park' needs plural 'parks' to indicate multiple (singular/plural issue and article/number). Use plural after 'more' when referring to countable nouns. Suggestion: Use 'more' + plural noun for countable items: 'more parks'.

× I living in Hanoi now and this is a lot of park in my city but it's very very natural and I feel very comfortable when I in the park doing exciting.

✓ I am living in Hanoi now and there are a lot of parks in my city, but they are very natural and I feel very comfortable when I am in the park doing exciting activities.

Errors: 'I living' needs auxiliary 'am living' (present continuous) (present tense issue). 'this is a lot of park' should be 'there are a lot of parks' (there be issue and singular/plural). 'it's very very natural' referring to 'parks' should be plural agreement 'they are very natural' (subject-verb agreement). 'when I in the park' needs verb 'am' ('when I am in the park'). 'doing exciting' is incomplete; use noun 'doing exciting activities' or 'doing exciting things' (verb + -ing/form or noun choice). Suggestion: Use correct continuous form, 'there are' for existence, match plural agreement, and complete gerund phrases with a noun.

× Umm in my future I want to go to Hua Bing Park because it it really near my house but uh because I work and hard work and study very hard and don't have time a lot to go to spa.

✓ In the future I want to go to Hua Bing Park because it is really near my house, but I work hard and study a lot, so I don't have much time to go to the spa.

Errors: 'in my future' is unnatural; use 'in the future' (sentence structure). 'it it really near' needs 'it is really near' (subject-verb). 'because I work and hard work' is redundant and incorrect; use 'I work hard'. 'study very hard' is acceptable but 'study a lot' is more natural. 'don't have time a lot to go to spa' should be 'don't have much time to go to the spa' (adverb placement and article error). Suggestion: Use 'in the future', correct auxiliary 'is', avoid redundancy, use quantifier 'much' with uncountable 'time', and include 'the' before 'spa'.