公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details, using linking words to connect ideas. Avoid repetition and incorrect tense (use past tense for childhood).

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I often visited Fantasy Park in Almaty with my family because it had many rides and games, so we always had a great time.

建议: Answer directly and use clear, correct verbs and age references. Give a brief reason and one example, linking ideas with words like 'but' or 'however'. Avoid filler words and repetition.

示例: Yes, I still like parks, but not as much as before because as a teenager I prefer going to the cinema or restaurants. However, I still enjoy visiting parks occasionally when I want fresh air or to meet friends.

建议: Respond directly and give specific reasons and examples. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' correctly, and correct grammar (plural/singular, verb forms). Keep it concise.

示例: My city already has many parks, but most are quite dull because they lack attractions for children and teenagers. For example, I only visit two or three parks that have playgrounds and sports facilities.

建议: Give a clear, concise answer and correct grammar (use 'want to visit' and proper articles). Add one or two specific reasons why you want to go, using linking words like 'because' and 'for example'.

示例: Yes, I would love to visit Disneyland in Paris in the future because it is famous for its spectacular attractions and magical atmosphere. For example, I want to try the themed rides and see the parades and shows.

× Exactly, I like going to parks as I was a child, especially with my parents, with my family and we have really good time.

✓ Exactly, I liked going to parks when I was a child, especially with my parents and family, and we had really good times.

The sentence mixes present tense 'I like' with reference to childhood; use past tense 'liked' and 'was' for time consistency; pluralize 'time' to 'times' or use 'a great time'. Also remove redundant phrase 'with my parents, with my family' to 'with my parents and family' for clarity.

× Especially I like going to parks with many attractions.

✓ I especially liked going to parks with many attractions.

For natural word order and tense consistency, place 'especially' before the verb and use past tense 'liked' because the context refers to childhood. This corrects awkward emphasis and aligns with surrounding sentences.

× For example, my favorite park in Almaty is Fantasy Park.

✓ For example, my favorite park in Almaty was Fantasy Park.

Since the student talks about childhood experiences, use past tense 'was' to maintain temporal consistency. 'Is' would be acceptable if referring to current favorite, but context indicates past.

× From my childhood.

✓ I have liked it since my childhood.

'From my childhood' is a fragment. Make it a full sentence and use 'have liked' with 'since' to indicate a continuous preference from childhood to now.

× I'm going to this park every single day and I really like it so much.

✓ I used to go to that park every single day, and I liked it very much.

Use past tense 'used to go' and 'liked' to describe habitual actions in childhood. 'So much' is informal; 'very much' is clearer. Also match demonstrative 'that' with previously mentioned park.

× I think that yes, but not like in the past because now I'm teenager and now I'm I'm pre.

✓ I think so, but not like in the past because now I'm a teenager.

Use 'so' instead of 'that yes' for natural agreement. Include article 'a' before 'teenager'. Remove repeated 'now I'm I'm pre' which is unclear; likely intended 'pre-teen' or 'teenager' — use 'teenager' to match sentence.

× I prefer to go to the cinema or go to the restaurant but not into the parks with attractions.

✓ I prefer going to the cinema or to restaurants rather than going to parks with attractions.

After 'prefer', the gerund 'going' is common when listing activities. Use plural 'restaurants' for generality and 'rather than' for contrast. 'Into the parks' is unnatural; use 'to parks'.

× But sometimes I really like it.

✓ But sometimes I still really enjoy going to them.

Replace 'like it' with 'enjoy going to them' to refer back to parks (plural) and use 'still' to indicate occasional present preference. Matches subject and verb agreement.

× You know, my city has a lot of parks, but the big part of these parks are so boring because they don't have really good attractions for kids or teenagers.

✓ You know, my city has a lot of parks, but most of these parks are quite boring because they don't have good attractions for children or teenagers.

Use 'most of these parks are' rather than 'the big part ... are'; 'most' is idiomatic. 'Really good' is softened to 'good' or 'quite boring'. 'Kids' can be replaced with 'children' for more formal speech. Subject-verb agreement retained with 'parks are'.

× For example, I visit only two or three parks in my town because I don't like visit more parks.

✓ For example, I only visited two or three parks in my town because I don't like visiting more parks.

Use past tense 'visited' to match earlier discussion of habits; alternatively 'I only visit' could be used if speaking about current habit. After 'don't like', use the gerund 'visiting' not the base form 'visit'.

× Honestly, I have the big dream for my childhood and this dream is visit the Disneyland in Paris.

✓ Honestly, I have had a big childhood dream, and that dream is to visit Disneyland in Paris.

'Have the big dream for my childhood' is awkward; use 'have had a big childhood dream' to show it started in childhood and continues. Use infinitive 'to visit' after 'dream is'. Remove 'the' before 'Disneyland' and 'the Disneyland' is incorrect.

× This park is so enormous, so beautiful and exciting, and I'm really want to visit this park because in this park have so many attractions and this park is really famous.

✓ That park is enormous, beautiful, and exciting, and I really want to visit it because it has many attractions and is very famous.

Remove redundant 'so' and repeated 'this park' phrases. Use correct verb 'has' for possession and remove 'really' repetition. Use 'I really want' (no 'am' before want). Use 'it' to avoid repetition. Ensure subject-verb order 'it has' instead of 'in this park have'.