公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve verb tense consistency, word choice and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, and avoid redundancy. Add one specific detail and use a linking word to connect ideas (e.g., "because" or "so").

示例: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because my parents limited my time on computer games. For example, my best friend and I would spend whole afternoons playing hide-and-seek and climbing trees, which helped me relax and forget school pressure.

建议: Make sentences concise and natural, correct collocations and remove fillers. Use present tense and clearer reasons with one linking word. Replace vague phrases ("professional check") with precise terms (e.g., "marked running track").

示例: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks in my spare time, especially after meals, because walking helps digestion. Also, many parks have marked running tracks and exercise equipment, so I often jog there to stay fit.

建议: Answer directly and give a clear opinion. Fix grammar (singular/plural), use linking words to explain reasons, and provide a specific example of what type of park you'd like more of (e.g., green spaces, playgrounds).

示例: Yes, I would like to see more small green parks in my city because they provide quiet places for families. For instance, I often visit a nearby theme park with my best friend to exercise and relax, so more neighbourhood parks would make this easier.

建议: Clarify your idea with correct tense and clearer expressions. State the park name or a concise description, correct grammar ("if I have time", "has become a landmark"), and explain specifically what you want to experience there using linking words.

示例: If I have time, I'd like to visit the park in central Beijing because it has become a cultural landmark. I want to see the historic architecture and modern landscaping there, and also learn how the park reflects the city's social development.

× Well, to be honest, when I was a kid, I like to go there with my best friend.

✓ Well, to be honest, when I was a kid, I liked to go there with my best friend.

The sentence describes a habitual action in the past, so the verb should be in the past tense. Change 'like' to 'liked' to match the past time reference ('when I was a kid'). Suggestion: Use past simple for past habits (I liked, I played).

× my parents didn't allow me to pay a lot of times on playing computer games or watching some interesting comedy.

✓ my parents didn't allow me to spend a lot of time playing computer games or watching comedies.

Incorrect preposition 'on' and wrong phrasing 'pay a lot of times'. Use 'spend time' for duration and plural 'comedies' or singular 'comedy shows'. Also remove 'on' before gerund. Suggestion: say 'spend a lot of time doing something.'

× So Parks becomes the best way for me to relax and escape from the big pressure.

✓ So parks became the best way for me to relax and escape from the great pressure.

'Parks' should be lowercase unless a proper noun; context refers to past so use past tense 'became' not 'becomes'. 'Big pressure' is nonnative phrasing; 'great pressure' or 'a lot of pressure' is natural. Suggestion: match verb tense to timeframe and use natural collocations (experience 'a lot of pressure').

× Well, to be honest, I like to go into parks in my spare time, especially I finish my meals.

✓ Well, to be honest, I like to go to parks in my spare time, especially after I finish my meals.

Use 'go to parks' not 'go into parks' for visiting, and temporal relation needs 'after' plus clause 'I finish my meals'. Maintain present simple for habitual action. Suggestion: use 'after' to indicate sequence and 'go to' for places.

× Uh, it is really good for our digesting systems and there is a professional check for us to run run there.

✓ Uh, it is really good for our digestive systems and there is a proper track for us to run there.

'Digesting systems' is incorrect; use adjective 'digestive systems'. 'Professional check' is unclear; likely 'proper track' or 'designated path' fits meaning. Also remove duplicated 'run'. Suggestion: choose correct adjective form and clearer noun for facilities.

× So I think it is a good way for us.

✓ So I think it is a good activity for us.

'A good way for us' is grammatically okay but slightly awkward; 'a good activity for us' or 'a good way for us to exercise' is clearer. Suggestion: be specific about purpose (to relax, to exercise).

× Oh there's a lot of parks in my city.

✓ Oh there are a lot of parks in my city.

Subject-verb agreement and article: 'there are' is required for plural 'parks', not 'there's' (there is). Also 'a lot of parks' is fine. Suggestion: use 'there are' with plural nouns.

× I still remember there is a theme parks close to my house.

✓ I still remember there is a theme park close to my house.

Mix of singular/plural: 'a theme park' (singular) requires 'park', not 'parks'. Also maintain tense: 'I still remember there was a theme park' could be used if referring to past. Suggestion: ensure noun number matches article.

× I often go there with my best friend to experience our spare times and do some exercises.

✓ I often go there with my best friend to spend our free time and do some exercise.

'Experience our spare times' is unnatural; use 'spend our free time'. 'Exercises' as plural is acceptable but 'do some exercise' or 'do some exercises' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use set phrases like 'spend free time' and choose singular/plural consistently.

× Well, to be honest, if I have a time, I'd like to explore the park which is located in the center of the Beijing.

✓ Well, to be honest, if I have time, I'd like to explore the park which is located in the center of Beijing.

'Have a time' is wrong; use 'have time'. Also omit the article before 'Beijing' and keep conditional modal 'I'd like' is correct. Suggestion: use 'have time' and no article before place names.

× Uh, this park become became a landmark in few years ago and it also records the improvement of this social society I can fully experience.

✓ Uh, this park became a landmark a few years ago and it also records the social development I can fully experience.

There is a duplicated and wrong verb form 'become became'; use simple past 'became' with 'a few years ago'. Use 'a few years ago' not 'in few years ago'. 'Social society' is redundant; 'social development' or 'social change' is natural. The clause is run-on: split or restructure. Suggestion: correct past tense, use 'a few', and choose appropriate noun phrase; consider: '...and it also reflects the social development that I can fully appreciate.'