公园— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be direct and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh, um), correct tense and grammar, and add one or two specific supporting details with linking words. Keep it under five sentences.

示例: Yes. I loved going to parks as a child because my friends and I played new games together. Also, I had few responsibilities then, so I could spend whole afternoons running around and exploring the playground.

建议: Improve fluency and grammar: use correct verb forms and concise linking phrases (for example, "because" or "so"). Provide one clear reason and a specific example of how parks help you relax. Avoid repetitions and filler sounds.

示例: Yes, I still like going to parks because they help me relax after a busy day. For example, walking among trees clears my mind and gives me energy to continue working.

建议: Clarify your position and correct contradictions: decide whether you want more parks and state it clearly. Use linking words to explain reasons and give a specific detail such as time constraints or other priorities. Avoid repeating phrases.

示例: I wouldn't mind more parks, but I personally don't need them because I study many hours each day and rarely have time to visit. If more parks were near my university, however, I might use them between classes.

建议: Answer directly and give a specific plan or preference. Replace vague phrases with concrete reasons and examples, and use linking words (for example, "because", "so"). Keep sentences short and grammatical.

示例: Not really. I don't feel particularly attached to parks because I prefer exercising at home or using online relaxation apps when I'm tired. However, if a large botanical garden opened nearby, I would like to visit it once.

× Yes, of course when I was child, I like to go in park.

✓ Yes, of course when I was a child, I liked to go to parks.

The sentence mixes past time reference 'when I was a child' with present tense 'I like'. Use past tense 'liked' to match the time frame (Grammar Problem Type 6). Also 'a child' needs the article 'a' (article error) and 'go to parks' uses correct preposition and plural for general visits (preposition and singular/plural issues). Suggestion: keep verb tense consistent with the time phrase and use 'go to parks' or 'go to the park' depending on meaning.

× This is because my old friends are very gracious about the playing new games and uh, I was uh, younger than I have no other responsibility as much.

✓ This is because my friends were very willing to play new games, and I was younger and had fewer responsibilities.

Several issues: 'old friends' can mean elderly; use 'my friends' or 'childhood friends' if intended (word choice). 'Are' should be past 'were' to match childhood time (present tense issue). 'Gracious about the playing' is incorrect — use 'willing to play' (incorrect use of adjectives/adverbs and verb patterns). 'Younger than I have no other responsibility as much' is ungrammatical; correct is 'I was younger and had fewer responsibilities' (sentence structure and verb tense). Suggestion: use simple past for past situations and clearer phrases like 'willing to play' and 'had fewer responsibilities'.

× So of course I like to go in park when I was a child.

✓ So of course I liked to go to the park when I was a child.

Preposition 'in' is incorrect for this context; use 'to' when talking about going somewhere (Grammar Problem Type 11). Also verb tense should match past ('liked') and use article 'the park' or plural 'parks' depending on meaning. Suggestion: use 'go to the park' or 'go to parks' and keep past tense.

× Yes, I still like going to parks.

✓ Yes, I still like going to parks.

This sentence is grammatically correct and matches present habit, so no change is needed. (Grammar Problem Type 6) Note: kept as is.

× Now, this is because, uh, when I try to doing something, my hard work and I feel exhausted after my, uh, all, the entire schedule.

✓ Now, this is because when I try to do something, I work hard and I feel exhausted after my entire schedule.

'Try to doing' is incorrect; after 'try to' use the base verb 'do' not the '-ing' form (Grammar Problem Type 8). 'My hard work' is awkward; express as 'I work hard'. Also 'after my entire schedule' is clearer than the original fragmented phrasing. Suggestion: use 'try to do' and simple subject-verb constructions like 'I work hard and feel exhausted'.

× So when I going to park, it allows me to refresh myself as well as uh, my thinking and uh, I feel.

✓ So when I go to the park, it allows me to refresh myself and my thinking, and I feel better.

'When I going' lacks the auxiliary or correct form; use base form 'go' with 'when' for habitual present or 'went' for past (Grammar Problem Type 10). 'Refresh myself as well as my thinking' is acceptable but needs punctuation and completion: add 'feel better' to finish the thought. Suggestion: use 'when I go to the park' and complete the clause with 'I feel better'.

× No, not at all. I like to see more parks in my city.

✓ No, not at all. I do not want to see more parks in my city.

The student's response contradicts itself: 'No, not at all' implies they do not want more parks, but the next sentence says 'I like to see more parks'. Correct negative form uses 'do not' or contraction 'don't' with verb 'want' to match intended meaning (Grammar Problem Type 22: article errors also present but primary is negation/verb choice). Suggestion: make the negative explicit: 'I don't want to see more parks'.

× This is because, uh, I have a study for uh, hours in the days, so I have a no time to, uh, no time to.

✓ This is because I study for many hours each day, so I don't have time.

Awkward phrase 'I have a study for hours in the days' should be 'I study for many hours each day' and 'I have a no time to' is incorrect; use 'I don't have time' (Grammar Problem Type 26). Suggestion: use clear subject-verb structure and standard negative 'do not have time'.

× Uh, I don't think that I'm now attached in the parks.

✓ I don't think that I'm attached to parks now.

'Attached in the parks' uses wrong preposition and misplaced adverb 'now'; use 'attached to' (preposition) and place 'now' at end or after verb. This is mainly preposition/pronoun placement (Grammar Problem Type 12). Suggestion: use 'attached to parks now' or 'attached to the parks' depending on meaning.

× This is because I have some other sources, uh, when I feel some exhausted and tried.

✓ This is because I have other ways to relax when I feel exhausted and tired.

'Some other sources' is vague; 'other ways to relax' fits the meaning. 'Feel some exhausted and tried' uses wrong adjectives and 'tried' should be 'tired'. Preposition 'when' is fine but the structure needs correction (Grammar Problem Type 11). Suggestion: use 'feel exhausted and tired' and 'other ways to relax'.

× So I just don't want to, uh, recover or, uh, revisit in the parks nearby my cities as well.

✓ So I just don't want to recover or revisit the parks near my city either.

Use 'revisit the parks' without preposition 'in' (Grammar Problem Type 9/11). 'Nearby my cities' is incorrect; use 'near my city' or 'near my cities' depending on plurality. Also 'don't want to recover' is unusual; likely 'I don't want to go to recover' — better to say 'I don't want to recover there or revisit the nearby parks either.' Suggestion: remove unnecessary prepositions and correct noun forms: 'revisit the parks near my city'.