视图— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Reduce hesitations and filler words, make the answer slightly more concise and finish your example. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific supporting detail and a brief example. Aim for natural phrasing and avoid repeating phrases like "uh".

示例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I often use my camera to capture memories of both places and people, especially when I travel. For example, my gallery is full of shots from city streets and mountain trails that remind me of specific trips and moments.

建议: Clarify and organize your answer: give a direct statement of preference, then use linking words to introduce specific reasons and an example. Reduce fillers and correct small word-choice issues (e.g., 'cliff' vs 'cliffs' or 'buildings').

示例: I prefer photographing rural areas because I love natural scenery. For instance, the greenery and peaceful sunrises make me feel excited, so on a recent beach trip I focused on capturing the shoreline and sunrise rather than cliffs or man-made structures.

建议: Make your preference explicit and provide a clear, specific reason with one concrete comparison. Remove hesitations and correct grammar (e.g., 'went on an abroad trip' -> 'traveled abroad'). Keep it concise and coherent with a linking phrase like 'for example' or 'for instance'.

示例: I prefer views in my own country because it has many rural areas that I find relaxing. For example, when I traveled abroad recently, I didn't find the scenery as peaceful as home, so I enjoy photographing familiar countryside scenes more.

× I'm a kind of a person who uh, captures memory through camera.

✓ I'm the kind of person who captures memories with a camera.

Use 'the kind of person' (fixed expression) and plural 'memories' to match general meaning. Use 'with a camera' rather than 'through camera' for correct preposition and article. Also remove filler 'uh'.

× So I often uh, take pictures of uh, places and also people to keep them as memory.

✓ So I often take pictures of places and people to keep them as memories.

Use plural 'memories' and correct word order 'places and people'. Remove unnecessary 'as' before 'memories' and filler 'uh'.

× for instance, if you go through my camera gallery, it is full of places that I.

✓ For instance, if you look through my camera gallery, it is full of pictures of places and people.

Sentence was incomplete and end fragment 'that I' incorrect. Replace with a complete clause and 'look through' is more natural than 'go through' for galleries. Use 'pictures of' to be clear.

× Actually, I prefer taking photos of, uh, rural areas because uh, the greenery is the natural fields, the natural sunrise or sunset, everything makes me feel very excited.

✓ Actually, I prefer taking photos of rural areas because the greenery, the fields, and the natural sunrise or sunset all make me feel very excited.

Remove extraneous commas and 'uh'. Use parallel structure ('the greenery, the fields, and the natural sunrise or sunset') and subject-verb agreement 'all make' for plural subject. 'Natural fields' was awkward; 'the fields' is clearer.

× Uh, recently I went on a beach trip with my friends and umm, all I covered uh, was the natural things, uh, rather than the Cliff.

✓ Recently I went on a beach trip with my friends and I photographed natural scenes rather than cliffs.

'Covered' is informal; 'photographed' is precise. Use plural 'cliffs' or 'the cliffs' rather than capitalized 'Cliff'. 'Natural scenes' is clearer than 'natural things'. Remove filler words and incorrect capitalization.

× I think I prefer views in my country because my country covers more of a rural area than urban area, which I personally like and feel relaxed about.

✓ I think I prefer views in my country because my country has more rural areas than urban areas, which I personally like and find relaxing.

Use 'has' to describe possession, plural 'rural areas' and 'urban areas' for comparison, and 'find relaxing' is a natural way to express 'feel relaxed about'. Remove repetition of 'my country'.

× Umm, For instance, I recently, uh, went to abroad, uh, trip, which didn't make me feel, uh, that fascinating as compared to the rural.

✓ For instance, I recently went on a trip abroad, which didn't seem as fascinating to me as the rural scenery.

Correct phrase is 'went on a trip abroad' not 'went to abroad trip'. Use 'seem as fascinating to me as' for comparison and 'rural scenery' to be specific. Remove filler words and fix word order.