旅行— Part 1 评分报告

练习Part12026-09-17 15:45:49

对话

Part 1

考官

Do you prefer to sit by the window when travelling?

考生

Yes I do. I prefer to sit by the window when traveling because I want to see landscapes and it makes me feel curious about my trips.

考官

Did you have a long journey with your family as a child?

考生

Yes, I had a long journey to Hokkaido with my family when I was a child. I could see both nature such as lakes and mountains. Especially I was overwhelmed by the big waterfalls.

评估

总分

总分: 6.0流畅度与连贯性: 6.0发音: 6.0语法: 6.0词汇: 6.0

Part 1

Do you prefer to sit by the window when travelling?

分数: 78.0

建议: 回答は直接的で分かりやすいですが、より自然で効果的にするために、理由を具体化し、接続詞で文をつなげ、語彙を少し豊富にすると良いです。例えば「see landscapes」だけでなく、どんな景色が好きかやそれがなぜ好みなのかを具体的に述べ、

示例: ,

Did you have a long journey with your family as a child?

分数: 82.0

建议: 良い思い出を具体的に述べていますが、より効果的にするために時間表現や詳細(誰と、どのくらいの期間、印象に残った理由)を加え、接続詞で流れを滑らかにすると良いです。また、

示例: When I travel, I always choose a window seat because I love watching the scenery pass by; for instance, I enjoy spotting rivers and forests, and it helps me relax and plan what to do at my destination.

语法

Incorrect use of articles

× Yes I do. I prefer to sit by the window when traveling because I want to see landscapes and it makes me feel curious about my trips.

✓ Yes, I do. I prefer to sit by the window when traveling because I want to see the landscapes and it makes me feel curious about my trips.

The word 'landscapes' refers to specific scenery seen from the window, so using the definite article 'the' is more natural. Add a comma after 'Yes' for standard punctuation. Suggestion: use 'the landscapes' when referring to particular scenery you expect to see, or keep no article if meaning landscapes in general ('see landscapes').

Past tense issue

× Yes, I had a long journey to Hokkaido with my family when I was a child. I could see both nature such as lakes and mountains. Especially I was overwhelmed by the big waterfalls.

✓ Yes, I had a long journey to Hokkaido with my family when I was a child. I could see various natural features, such as lakes and mountains. I was especially overwhelmed by the large waterfalls.

'Both' is used for two items and is not appropriate with the open list 'such as lakes and mountains' when you mean several natural features; use 'various' or omit 'both'. 'Nature' as an abstract noun does not fit directly after 'see'; use 'natural features' or 'scenery'. 'Especially' should be placed before the clause or phrase it modifies; here 'I was especially overwhelmed...' is correct. 'Big' is colloquial; 'large' is a more natural adjective for waterfalls. Suggestions: replace 'both nature such as' with 'various natural features, such as' and move 'especially' before the verb.

重点词汇

Big— Large; Elder; Important; Ambitious
Long— Lengthy; Soon; Yearn for
多说

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