旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words and avoid filler sounds (uh, um). Use richer vocabulary (e.g., scenery, bustling streets) and limit to 2–4 sentences for naturalness.

示例: Yes, I prefer a window seat because I enjoy the changing scenery. For example, I like watching landscapes and the busy shops and people on the streets, which helps me relax and pass the time.

建议: Provide a clear topic sentence and then add specific, coherent details using linking words. Avoid hesitations and correct basic grammar (e.g., 'when I was a child', 'to the beach'). Mention concrete activities to make the answer vivid and stick to 2–4 sentences.

示例: Yes, when I was a child my family took a long trip to the beach for my birthday. We stayed there for two weeks and did many activities, such as swimming, building sandcastles, and joining evening barbecues, which made the trip very memorable.

× Yes, I do it because I love to see the view when I travel in uh, I really like to see landscapes, people, uh, or stores like we usually see on the street.

✓ Yes, I do because I love seeing the view when I travel; I really like seeing landscapes, people, or shops we usually see on the street.

The original uses 'to see' repeatedly where the gerund (seeing) is more natural after verbs of preference (love, like). Use of the gerund makes the sentence more fluent. Also 'do it' is unnecessary; remove 'it' and join clauses with a semicolon or conjunction. Replace 'stores' with 'shops' for natural collocation.

× I was child so we went to beach.

✓ I was a child so we went to the beach.

Missing articles cause singular/plural errors. 'child' as a singular noun needs the indefinite article 'a'. 'beach' when referring to a specific visit requires the definite article 'the'. Adding articles corrects noun reference.

× So we spent like 2 weeks in there.

✓ So we spent about two weeks there.

Use 'about' or 'around' instead of informal 'like' for approximate time; write numbers as words in formal text ('two'). The preposition 'in there' is awkward; 'there' alone is correct when location is clear.

× We did many things, uh, we did some programmes in there that we can uh, share.

✓ We did many things; we took part in some programs there that we could share.

'Programmes in there' is awkward—use 'took part in programs there'. Also change 'can' to past reference 'could' to match the past-tense context. Replace comma splice with appropriate punctuation and use 'programs' (US) or 'programmes' consistent; 'share' needs to match modal tense.