旅行— Part 1 评分报告

建议: Improve grammar, sentence structure and coherence. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting reasons using linking words. Avoid redundancy and filler words (e.g. “uh”, repeating “usually”). Use correct verb forms and articles (e.g. “when I travel”, “a family member”, “the window”).

示例: Yes, I usually prefer to sit by the window when I travel. For example, on trains and buses I like watching the scenery because it helps me relax and makes the journey more interesting. Also, if I want to rest I can lean against the window, which is more comfortable.

建议: Make the answer more concise and better structured. Begin with a clear topic sentence about having long journeys, then give one or two specific details (where you went, why it was memorable) with linking words (e.g. “for example”, “because”, “also”). Correct tense usage (use past tense for childhood events) and avoid repetition of “family members”.

示例: Yes, I had a long journey with my family when I was a child. For example, we went to Chandigarh and it felt long and hectic because it was my first big trip by road; I remember visiting Sukhna Lake and the Rock Garden, which made the trip memorable.

× Yes, I prefer to sit by the window. When I was travel with my friends or a family members it does not matter.

✓ Yes, I prefer to sit by the window. When I travel with my friends or family members it does not matter.

The sentence mixes past tense 'was' with 'travel' and uses an incorrect article with 'family members'. Use present simple 'travel' to match general habit, and remove 'a' before 'family members' because 'family members' is plural. Also remove 'was' which incorrectly places the clause in past.

× I'm travelling in the bus and train.

✓ I travel by bus and train.

'I'm travelling' (present continuous) can be used for actions happening now; but for habitual actions use simple present 'I travel'. Also use the preposition 'by' for modes of transport rather than 'in'. This corrects tense and preposition usage.

× I usually prefer sit in the windows because I usually view the outside of the uh transport such as a train and buses and I also make the different.

✓ I usually prefer to sit by the window because I like to look outside at the scenery on trains and buses, and it makes a difference.

After 'prefer' the correct form is 'prefer to sit' (infinitive) or 'prefer sitting'. 'Sit in the windows' is incorrect; use singular 'window' or 'the window' and preposition 'by'. 'View the outside' is unnatural; use 'look outside at the scenery'. 'Make the different' is ungrammatical; use 'make a difference'. Also ensure plural agreement 'trains and buses'.

× Yes, of course, I have a long journey with my family members when I was a child since I remember that when I was going to the Chandigarh trip with my family members, the one of the long and one of the hectic journey for me because it's my first time.

✓ Yes, of course. I had a long journey with my family when I was a child. I remember going on a trip to Chandigarh with my family; it was one of the longest and most hectic journeys for me because it was my first time.

The original mixes present perfect 'have' with past time 'when I was a child'—use simple past 'had'. 'I remember that when I was going' is awkward; use 'I remember going'. 'The one of the long and one of the hectic journey' is ungrammatical; use 'one of the longest and most hectic journeys'. Also maintain past tense 'it was my first time'.

× Moreover, I usually visit the different kind of places with my family members and such as uh, Sukhna Lake rock garden.

✓ Moreover, I usually visit different kinds of places with my family, such as Sukhna Lake and the Rock Garden.

Use 'different kinds of places' (plural and correct order). Omit 'members' after 'family' when referring to family as a group. Use 'such as' followed by examples; add 'the' before 'Rock Garden' as it is a specific place. Also separate 'Sukhna Lake' and 'Rock Garden' with 'and' for clarity.